What I want for Christmas

In the last couple of days people asked what I want for Christmas. So here is a short list what would make which part of my personality me happy.

The Toy Collector

Mister B Yellow-Black Rubber Restraints Set – the only really good rubber restraints I have seen to date

Boutique Bizzarre Leather Whip Size L with soft leather – once experienced it, loved it, got to have it!

E-Stim toys – When coming back from the USA I want to make a big feature on e-play. But I have nothing. So I need a good box, electrodes, other toys, etc.

The Economist
Mr. S Gift Card – the best way to make my stay in the USA enjoyable 😉

The Connoisseur

Lars Deike’s Painting “Unterwerfung” – Since I have seen this painting in September I am intrigued by its rough yet intimate sexual energy – despite featuring only skin heads.

A bottle of Comb 9 Gin – Can’t get this gin in Germany but reviews promises a unique taste experience.

The Luxury Bitch

Dunhill Avorities North South Bag – Finally a stylish man purse which is large enough for a small toy collection 😉

Smythson Hamilton A4 Lippiatt Folder – The only way to store and travel with stationary in style.

The Academic

Too many books to

The Average Kinkster Joe

A new rubber outfit – Put together black Chaps with yellow stripes, a codpiece jock with a yellow stripe and a zipper shirt with yellow stripes and finally I have a play outfit which looks fairly good and isn’t a surf suit.

Two new belts – 95cm of leather to bring more kinks into everyday life.

The entire Fred Perry Twin Tipped Polo Collection – I can’t simply have enough Fred Perry Polos in my Drawer

Some Crazy Nike Max90/ BW – For years my friends have been complaining that my foot wear is too dark and I am finally comfortable with a bit more colorful – that is if the all black leather Max90 isn’t too tempting 😉

Christmas Gift Tip II: Paintings from Lars Deike

When it comes to kinky gifts most people think of gear, toys and maybe coffee table books. But why not support a fellow kinkster and enhance your living space by getting yourself some art. So today’s Christmas gift tip will be the paints from Lars Deike.

Lars Deike is one of Germany’s most renowned nude and fetish photographer. He has studied photography in LA and has exhibitions all over Germany and abroad. Two years ago he started to paint fetish motives in acrylic paint on canvas. He draws his inspiration from his photography and own experiences in the fetish world. I first came in contact with Lars’ paintings this Folsom when exhibited his paintings at Axel Hotel in Berlin. I was instantly intrigued by the motives, the style and the briskness of his pictures.

You can find a variety of different motives on his website deike.de. The pictures can be ordered via e-mail or you can commission your own motives. There is also a post card collection available. Sadly no poster and art prints are offered yet

Regulation Rubber Flogger

As a rubber fetist myself I sometimes find the dominance of leather in the kinky scene annoying especially when it comes to toys. Of cause, leather is the ideal material for many purposes but nevertheless when you are into the feel and the smell of latex nothing else will do. So I am always happy to find a toy made out of rubber.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine told me about the rubber flogger from Regulation which he tried out in London. Being into rubber himself he was delighted by the smell and feeling and amazed by the build quality. Even though rubber isn’t as strong as leather this flogger will probably be good enough for a strong and serious flogging session. And serious it will be due to the rubber being softer than other rubber flogger but as an artificial material it is still harder with sharper edges than a soft leather flogger.

The flogger comes in various color variations and costs £50 each at the time of the publishing of this article.

Finally: A few Thoughts about How I write Reviews

I know this blog entry has been promised for a long time and finally today during my lunch break I found some moments to articulate my thoughts.

After the test of the Mister S Talon Eagle Clamps I was a bit shocked: The clamps are good toy for experienced pain pigs and it only scored in the mid 7s. So I took a look at other toys I haven’t tested yet and scored them. The result was devastating. Even the ones I considered real good toys scored below 8. I wanted them to score better, but the numbers didn’t add up which got me thinking: How good is the rating system?

After a deep and critical look I came to the conclusion: It is not very good. Every toy I own is “up to the task”, even the bad ones so every toy should score 10 on this category. So the task score was influenced by other criteria which got own categories. And looking at the other ones I came to the conclusion that the rating is more subjective than I want it to be in all categories. In the end it comes down to question: Does the toy what I want it to do? And this can’t be the answer to the question if the toy is good for the reader.

Before starting this website I knew that toys can hardly be measures with objective criteria but I wasn’t aware of how difficult it was. So I need a new, more qualitative approach: The test will feature descriptions of how the toy performs in all important areas like security, handling, etc. so that everybody can decide if the performance in a specific category influences the usefulness of the toy for oneself. I hope that this new testing modus will create easier to understand and more universal reviews.

If you have any thoughts or advice for me on this topic, please let me know.

December – The Crazy Month

Some of you might have already noticed: This month everything is a little bit different on ToyTorture.com. This is due to several reasons: I am working fulltime until Christmas eve meaning I mostly get hope way past 8pm and at home Christmas correspondence, chores, etc. await me. So sadly this website has a slightly lower priority than it should have. This means: The weekly update will not come as regular as you might want it to come. I wish I could promise you that things will get better after Christmas but with my semester abroad approaching and the uncertainty how things will work out at North Park University it probably will take until February or even March until everything runs smoothly again.

Christmas Gift Tip I: Serious Toys Rubber Sling

In Germany we call the four weeks before Christmas advent time and number the Sundays until Christmas 1st to 4th advent. In ancient times this was a time of contemplation and preparation for the Christmas holidays but nowadays the four Sundays are used for shopping and thinking about Christmas presents. So from this Sunday on until Christmas I will present you some hopefully new and creative gift ideas.

I will start out this little series with a toy I have been owning for over a year now and I love it: The Serious Toys Sling – a sling made out of rubber. Not only can a true rubber fetishist finally get a playroom where everything is made out of rubber, but this sling is also practical. Being made out of rubber, it is very easy to clean which comes in handy when playing wet or if you use a lot of lube while fisting. Also unlike with leather sling you do not need to worry about the weight of the person lying in the sling. You can even use it to store you Smart car if you need to.

However, the sling comes in two sizes: Standard (349€) and Large (429€) if you have really beefy bottoms. Also upon request you can get a version with holes for really dirty games or matching ankle loops.

The sling can be ordered via e-mail directly from the manufacturer Demask in Dortmund. They ship internationally.

Rough and Safer Sex

On December 1st 1981 AIDS become an official illness. Since then the medical research, safer sex education and awareness for STDs has made great progress. However, still every year people get infected and still people are dying. Not only in poor countries like in Africa or Asia but as well in the so called developed western world.

When talking to people about HIV and STDs before and after my speeches on BDSM I often hear that safer sex isn’t a big issue in the pervert scene because “traditional” sex and thus traditional ways of infection are not as common as in the vanilla scene. This might be true to a certain extend but never the less: STDs and especially AIDS is something that effect everybody, especially gay people and especially the ones living a promiscuous life style. So I would like to honor the world AIDS day by not only asking you to think of the people living with this still incurable disease and remember all the dear friends and idols who have died in the last three decades but also give some advice on safer BDSM sex. This article’s intention is not to make you frightened but to raise awareness for the problem and show you that it is not so difficult to care for yourself and your sex partners.

1. Get tested!

This might sound trivial but it is the most important thing to do. Know your STD status! Get tested on a regular basis, at least once every half year. A test once in a blue moon to calm your conscious doesn’t do any good for anybody.

We are so anxious that our gear is in good shape that we sometimes forget this is not the only thing which can harm someone we at least care about to meet once. Knowing that you won’t harm your bottom when you deep throat him or let him lick the spit from your boots is not only a good feeling but shows that you are a caring master. And as a sub it should be natural that you keep your body in good shape and let your master know about any illnesses right away.

Also, getting a positive test result on any STD isn’t the end of the world and fun. Most STDs can be cured pretty quickly. And if you should get tested positive for the HI virus, it will be hard, but it is not a death sentence anymore. It is you only chance to survive!

2. Get informed and think about the risk you want to take

A doctor of mine told me once: All safer sex is ridiculous if it keeps you from having joyful sex. So get informed about ways of infection, think about what you like to do/ have done to you and where possible infections risks are. Than think about what risks you are willing to take and how to minimize the risks so you have a satisfying sex live without regrets.

3. Keep your toys cleaned!

This also should go without saying but it is worth to remind everyone that uncleaned toys can transfer STDs. Especially after harder sessions with bloody nipples, blood encrusted single tails or everything which enters the body like saliva dripping gags, dildos or dilatators it is vital to clean the toys thoroughly.

4. Be aware of infection risks when exchanging body fluids

Besides traditional vanilla sex like fucking and sucking all sorts of humiliation games involving rimming and consuming of body fluids cause a risk of getting STDs. So here is a short but not complete list of body fluids and some STDs they might carry.

Piss: Gonnorrhea, Chlamydia and Hepatitis B

Saliva and Snot: Usually no problem, but can transfer current illnesses like a flu or cold. If you have an acute infection in your mouth from Syphilis, Gonnorrhea or Chlamydia you can infect someone you give or blowjob or kiss very intensly.

Shit: Hepatitis A and Gonnorrhea or Chlamydia if you have an infection in your gut.

 5. Play Rough! Play dirty! Play safe!

There is no better way to keep your body and your mind healthy than having a good sex life. When you have no oppressed desires you will not engage in risks you would not take normally when you have the chance to live them out. So despite all the fear and insecurity STDs might produce, enjoy life. It is Saturday! Go out and have some fun – as safe as you need and want it.

 

Affiliate Program and Objectiveness

Some reader might have noticed: I have joined the Mr S Leather Affiliate Program. But since on this site also tests of products from Mr S Leather are presented I think it is worth to write a bit about why I have joined the program and what changes it might inflict on this site.

When getting in contact with the folks at Mr S for the first item of the desiderate section they invited me to join the program and after reading through the benefits and conditions I decided to join. I did so because of three reasons:

  1. A lot of American readers ask me where to get the stuff tested on this website in the USA because they don’t want to pay high shipping and custom duties when from European stores.  So after a little research and a survey under my American friends I ended up with Mr S being the best online source for BDSM toys in the USA. This was one of the reasons why I wrote the article about basic toys and only linked products from Mr S.
  2. As some of you may know I will spend a semester abroad next spring. If everything plays out the way it want it to, I will visit San Francisco and I already have a way too long list of items I want to get from Mr S. Since being a student, money is always tight and every dollar of store credit will make my visit to the West Coast more fun. So if you need something from Mr S feel free to use this link 😉
  3. Running this site costs a bit of money and a bit more of time. So if my reviews get someone in the USA to buy himself a toy, I take the liberty of offering him the chance of giving something back to me for the effort of writing a review.

So, how will this program influence this site? A bit but not much. All toy tests will still be as objective as my subjective opinion can be (what a nice oxymoron). This means, only because I might get some store credit from Mr S it will not influence how a toy will perform. Also due to limited access to their products you will not only see Mr S’ toys tested– even though I would like to test some but can’t get my hands on them yet. What will come are links under reviews of products from other stores called “Get a similar product from Mr S Leather” when Mr S carries a similar product. This will hopefully decrease a bit the e-mail inquiries coming from the US asking where to get the product at the other site of the Atlantic Ocean.

Everything else will stay the same. Also: Don’t feel intimidate to write to me. I appreciate every comment, e-mail, tweet, even the ones asking me where to get certain toys.

Starting Your Own Gear Collection

In the last couple of weeks I got quite a lot of messages asking me what to buy when getting into kinkier sex. Most of the questions came from the USA because I mainly tested basic gear from German and European stores. They do ship international but shipping and customs duties make them unattractive for someone new to the scene who doesn’t want to spend or wait too much.

For this article I did some research on the US BDSM retail landscape and I got in touch with some friends from the states. They told me that there are very few really good BDSM stores throughout the states and advised me to recommend Mister S Leather’s (online) store in San Francisco due to offering good quality for reasonable prices. Most products featured here were in my hands at least once, p.e. when taking a look at a friend’s toy collection, but I didn’t play with them for an extend period of time. But since a lot of my friends are very satisfied with them and with Mister S Leather being one of the oldest gay BDSM stores in the world, I think it is safe to say that you are buying good quality and reliable toys.

The Necessity of Own Toys

Especially when starting out you ask yourself why you should get your own toys. They are expensive, it is difficult to find the right one and when you are not living alone there is always the threat of someone finding them who is not supposed to know aboutthem.

In spite of all these good reasons I would recommend to get you your own toys. As a bottom you can try out what you like in a relaxed atmosphere without the more or less subliminal pressure of a top who expects a good session. And as soon as you have tasted the sweet blood of pain and bondage you can enhance your solo sex live with solo sessions. As a top it is vital to know your toys; how they work, how to use them, in which condition they are. So bringing your own toys to a session is always better than relying solely on the toys the sub provides.

How to Decide What to Buy

Getting into the kinky scene mostly starts with a distinct experience. You have seen some hard action in a porno and now you are curious to try it out or a date of yours introduced you to some rougher action. Before starting to shop sit down and think about a few questions:

Are you into BDSM or into fetish?

This is the hardest question but it is vital. Most people being into the one thing are also into the other but there is a little group who is into vanilla sex while wearing fetish gear or into BDSM session while being strictly naked. So when looking at a picture of someone being bound while wearing a gimp suit p.e. try to figure out if your arousal comes from the bondage or the suit. Otherwise you will end up with an expensive investment lying around unused. Due to this website being about toys I will mostly focus on toys but at the end of this article you will find a small section about fetish attire.

What turns you on?

Is it being bound and helpless? It is pain? If yes where? Is it humiliation? Exploring your dark desires is essential to getting the right product category for you to start your collection with.

How much money do you want to spend? How much will a wrong purchase piss you off?

When you start shopping it is easy to get into some buying rush because everything is new and tempting. Setting yourself a budget and writing exactly down what you want will prevent you from buying stuff you don’t need or you won’t use. Of cause it is ok to buy one or two items which appeal to you with no deeper reason but buying a small number of high quality toys is better than having a bunch of crap or stuff you can only use when you are an experienced pervert.

Where to Buy

I would always recommend going to a specialized store (and I don’t mean an erotic outlet where straights are buying lingerie to rescue the marriage or “funny” toys for bachelorette parties) where you get a good expert advice and at best can try out the merchandise. However for most people such a store is at least a day’s travel away so you have to stick with online resources. Every good online store has an e-mail help desk which will help you getting the right product for you. Don’t be afraid to ask any question. There are no stupid questions due to the BDSM world being complex and confusing especially for someone new. And since you just started out with your collection they have an interest in creating a loyal customer.

Basic Items

Here are some items which in my opinion are good for a basic BDSM collection. They will enable you to have a fun session and are a good starting point to explore even darker and harder desires.

Restraints

Your first set of restraints should consist out of a pair of ankle and wrist restraints. Material wise I would recommend them being made out of soft leather with a thick and soft padding and a strong welded D-ring. Other features like more than one D-ring, being lockable, etc. are nice to have but will make them more expensive. When selecting your basic set it is always good to take a look at the product range as you might want to extend your set in the future, p.e. with thigh restraints, and it looks nice when they are from the same series.

If you already want a bondage collar take one with at least three D-rings. Everything else makes no sense and is a waste of money because it will be difficult to attach your wrist restraints and a leech on it.

For many people a pair of handcuffs is the first bondage item they get due to being inexpensive and easy to get. Despite these advantages I would disadvise to buy handcuffs for other than fetish or short foreplay action. Handled wrongly they can lead to severe injuries.

Gags and Blindfolds

Soft material (at best leather going with your restraints) is even more important here than when buying restraints in order to prevent injuries and to work properly.

A blindfold should be soft thus flexible enough to seal of your eye socket. Regarding padding I am a bit ambivalent. Padding is good to increase the light sealing but if the blindfold sits too tight it can apply pressure on your eye ball which at best in uncomfortable but at worst can be dangerous. Most blindfolds have a leather strap which is ok when you use padded folds. If you have an unpadded one you should try to get one with Velcro at the back in order to adjust the blindfold tightly enough to seal off all the light.

Your first gag should be a simple bar or ball gag made out of a soft yet firm easy to clean material (silicone or rubber). The diameter of the gag should not be too thick in order to prevent you from chocking but still be thick enough to give you a helpless feeling and enough material to bit on. You should also pay attention that the gag or the strap doesn’t irritate the corners of your mouth.

Clamps

At this point most of you will have tried out cloth pins which are ok for the beginning but specialized toys provide an own kind of pain sensation. Especially for beginners an adjustable clamp is good because you can determine the pressure on your nipples. Only a little bit more advanced and really THE standard clamp are the Japanese clover clamps. If you are a bit into tit pain just get them. You will (learn to) love them!

Spanking and Whipping

When it comes to getting hit by an object many things influence the pain intensity: The target area, the intensity of the stroke and the state of the hitting instruments (p.e. are all tails of the flogger together when striking out). So when getting into spanking and whipping you want to get yourself the “softest” variant out there and increase the pain by technique.

If you want to get yourself a flogger everything under 20’’ tail length is too short in my opinion especially when you want to use it on yourself. As a beginner I would recommend suede as a tail material.

Another basic and very versatile toy is a small paddle and/ or a small slapper which can be used for spanking, tit or cock and ball torture.

CBT

The best CBT toy to start out with is a ball stretcher. A stretcher will on the one hand increase your wanking pleasures by intensifying your orgasm; on the other hand it will get your balls in a nice position for a good beating. Again look for a model made out of soft leather and soft, rounded piping on the edges! Otherwise you will end up with bruises or even wounds on your shaft or balls after a long hard wanking.

Another basic CBT item is a parachute. You can pull or put weights on it or even tight it to your restraints.

If you want it all you can get a combination of a stretcher, a divider which will enable you to hit single balls and a D-ring to put weights on it. But when buying it you should try out the divider. If your scrotum it too big you might not be able to get the strap over your balls.

Fetish Attire

Personally I divide my gear into two sections: Play and pride attire. Play attire enables me to have a good session by granting access to the area the something should be applied on, p.e. clamps on tits. So a (surf) suite with a zipper running from the neck to the rump is a good basic piece. After trying out several suits I would not recommend zippers over the nipples. When you open them, the nipples are anywhere but never under the zipper and when they are closed they irritate the nipples without any play fun. Another good play piece are chaps which allow a good butt spanking and CBT. A harness serves as play and pride attire at least when it is made out of leather. Rubber tears too easily to be made for harder playing.

Pride attire are pieces which are made out of fetish material but are not so good for playing at least as a sub but great for going to a pride event, found raiser or just a night out in a bar; since tops mostly only need something where they can get their dick out of, pride attire is as functional for playing as play attire. A basic pride outfit consists out of a pair of pants and some kind of shirt like a polo. You can also add accessories like a shoulder harness, belt, etc. An everyday pride article is a small wrist band made out of your favorite fetish material in the hanky color of your major kink.

Since I am only into rubber I can’t really tell you much about the material properties of other fetishes. When buying rubber gear you have always to weigh between toughness and feeling. The thicker the rubber the more robust it is towards tearing but you will also feel less when being touched. Also the draw on the glue joints will increase. The best compromise for me is 0,6mm grade rubber. It is robust enough to withstand a small pull but lets through enough touch feeling.

Mister B Thowncrown

Vendor: Mister B

First Impression and construction

The Thorncrown with the hex to adjust the screws

The Thorncrown with the hex to adjust the screws

When I first got this little devil I was pleasantly surprised by its weight.  As a person who is triggered very much by mind games you instantly get it that this toy means business. Being made out of massive brushed stainless steel it is one of these toys which are so sturdy that even your grandchildren can have fun with as soon as they have grown up. It also has a nice rough and technical appearance. Inside the ring six holes with screw threads are milled housing each a grub screw. At the end of the screws you can put a hexagon key for tightening or loosening the screws.

You can get the toy in three diameters: 30mm, 32,5mm and 35mm which is enough for most dicks but when playing with big boys it is too small. A version with 40mm or even 45mm with maybe 8 screws would be a great extension to the line.

Playing with it

As already written, this toy is great for mindfuck. Just show your tightly tied pain pig the thorncrown, demonstrate a bit how it works and whisper in its ear where you are going to put it. Most masochists will shiver in fear and/ or excitement. And they are right. The pain experience is quite unique and can be everything between a light tickling up to sheer agony. Most people will fear that the screws will actually injure them but since the heads are flattened they won’t break the skin’s surface in most situations.

One of the six grub screws

One of the six grub screws

Because every screw can be adjusted separately you can dose the pain very precisely which is necessary because at worst (or best) a nerve runs directly under a screw head. When deciding how deep to drive the screws into the skin always keep in mind that that screws are the only things keeping this hefty toy in place (see next paragraph). Because the screws have no deepness limiter this toy can cause serious harm up to bleeding wounds; screwed in to the max the aperture shrinks from the 35mm of the steel ring to 7mm between the screw heads. As a rule of thumb you can say that a full turn of the key will drive the screw approx. 1mm. I would also advise you to drive the all screws in equally because by doing so you leave the flesh at least some space to escape between the screws. If you only twist the screws on one side or even only one you nail the flesh against the steel ring which will cause injuries more easily.

The Thorncrown put onto a dick

The Thorncrown put onto a dick

Despite its weight the thorncrown can be attached to nearly every body part which sticks out. Except the penis I have put it on fingers, toes and even the tongue. I can imagine that the small version also plays very nice with pumped up nipples but I haven’t had the chance and toys to try it out. Since the screws can dig quite deeply into the flesh the thorncrown also stays in place on slippery and softer tissue. However due to the weight once the body part starts to move it can get loose and fall off. This is especially annoying when you have put it right under the glans and start to jerk your bottom boy off. It is a quite unique sensation – if the toy stays in place for which you have to dig the screws deeply into the flesh. This is a major problem: If you only want light pain and you cause another pain which makes the sub twist a bit harder the toy will most likely fall off.

Handling wise you either need to be very dexterous or have to limit the movement of you sub very much. The head of the hexagon key has only 2mm in diameter and the matching lock on the screw isn’t very deep. So you need to target the lock well and need some force to keep the key in place. The key itself it 55mm long which is a good compromise between handling and being short enough for whole revolutions – at least on average dicks. Since the key is only 2mm thick it is difficult to grasp it with thicker leather gloves and depending on the amount of lube you have on your finger it will be impossible to control it enough to fit it into the lock. Another thing to bear in mind is the fact that the screws have no limiter thus when playing around with the toy without putting it on something or releasing it you can easily loose a screw. I once spent 5 minutes after a session helping my top to find a screw which rolled under the bed. I will check on my next trip to the home improvement store how easily such screws can be replaced.

This CBT device doesn’t really play nice with any material covering the applied area. Leather, Spandex, Lycra or Neopren absorb much of the punctual pressure and will most likely keep some pressure marks. When used on rubber at best there also will be some pressure marks, at worst the material will give in.

Usually this toy will leave only little pleasure marks which fade away very quickly. But if you drive the screws very deep into the skin and maybe add some friction, p.e. by jerking the dick, the skin irritation can be very bad. The worst case I have seen were little bruises.

Conslusion: A sturdy and mindfucking toy which need cautious handling
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Unique pain experience Difficult to handle Mister B (Manufacturer) 49€
Quality feel Some injury potential
Very good pain dosing  
  • 9ee6292c41ad2ef691c9e90a8a7a2b8a

    9ee6292c41ad2ef691c9e90a8a7a2b8a