ElectraStim Flick Duo Unboxing

In just a few weeks the Third Annual E-Stim Special will start on ToyTorture.com. For a couple of weeks it will be all about E-Stim on this website. So one after the other I am slowly getting the toys which I than will be reviewing. ElectraStim is one of the major manufacturers of E-Stim toys and thus I have gotten a lot of questions which of their power box I would recommend. Thus I was very happy when they sent me their Flick Duo along with two electrodes earlier this weekend to put them through my hard testing routine.

The toy comes in a black, sturdy 147x87x90mm cardboard box with the ElectraStim logo embossed in silver. It is wrapped in a trade outer packaging which shows a picture of the box and explains its main features.

Directly below the lid the Flick Duo is housed in a velvety covered tray. The power box features soft-touch push buttons which are symmetrically laid out: In the center there are the power and the mode selection button with the mode number indicator above. On the left and on the right are the intensity controls for the two independent channels. At the top there are two sockets for the two channels, on the bottom there is the Mini USB charging socket.

The Flick Duo comes with a manual in English, French, German, Dutch, Spanish and Italian. It explains the basis of e-stim, how to operate the box, walks you through the 8 programs and 4 flick modi and gives good advice on how to use the electrodes which come with the box. With the manual comes a little card. On one side they advertise for their Jack Socket e-stim enhanced masturbator, on the other side it is described how you can qualify for an additional year of warranty.

Next inside the box there is a small black drawstring back with a silver ElectraStim logo printed on it. It is large enough to hold the Flick Duo, two leads and a pair of conductive loops and some pad electrodes.

Next are the hardware essentials: A Mini USB cable for charging and two 2mm plug to bipolar 2mm pin leads.

Last but not least the Flick Duo comes with four self-adhesive pad electrodes. They are good for a first glance into the e-stim world and allow for out of the box fun.

I am very much looking forward to test this little beast and am especially excited which means things I will be able to do with the flick feature .

Anal Toys 101

Finding the right anal toy and keeping it in good shape so it lasts for a long time can be a bit of a challenge. In this 101 I talk about what to consider when buying an anal toy and how to care for it properly.

Buyer’s Guide to Anal toys

There are many aspects to consider when choosing an anal toy. Especially when you are buying your first one and have not developed personal preferences yet, giving each aspect some thought is a good idea because a good anal toy is quite an investment. But if chosen wisely will bring you fun for years to come.


Deciding out of which material your new anal toy is going to be made is the first step when choosing it because the material properties impact many relevant aspects of anal play.

Material composition

This is the most important aspect of choosing a toy. In the old days before EU regulations and custom testing imported goods, toys which I would not have recommended to put up your butt were widely available!

The inside of your colon is basically one big mucosal that will happily absorb whatever the lube (especially water-based lube) washes out of the toy’s material. Thus I recommend only purchasing toys which are manufactured in the EU or USA where dangerous plasticizers like phthalates or lead as a catalytic agent for silicone are forbidden. Just to be safe look for the label “Platinum Silicone” or “Phthalates Free” when choosing a toy. At the end of Buyer’s Guide there is a list of manufacturers I personally source from if you want a recommendation.


Not every lube can be used with every material. Some lubes will actually cause to disintegrate your toy. Thus depending on your lube preferences you have to choose the toy material.

The following chart shows which lube can generally speaking be safely used with which material. Of cause individual material composition can lead to unexpected effects. If you want to err on the side of safety only use water-based lube.

Water-base Lube Silicone-Base Lube Hybrid Lube Oil/Fat-Base Lube
Silicone X X
PVC/ Vinyl
Rubber X
TPR (✔) (✔)
Other hard Plastic

The Square Peg Charlie Horse Wiggly in Supersoft Bronze from Regulation

Firmness & Surface Smoothness

While glass, metal and wood are always hard, the plastic ones come in different degrees of firmness. With the latter group the thickness is also influenced by the thickness. The thicker a toy the harder it will feel.

Which degree of firmness is good is depends on the usage situation. For training your ass a softer toy is better because it adjusts a bit to the sphincter. For wearing a toy for an extended period of time a harder material is better because the sphincter will adjust to the form of the toy which is more comfortable in the long run. Also with hard surfaces the likelihood of skin folds and thus a pinching sensation decreases.

The firmness also impacts the structural integrity. The firmer the toy the easier it will stand up by itself. This is especially important then you want to ride or sit on a toy. If it is too soft, it will collapse.

Furthermore the surface structure is important. The smoother the surface the easier the toy glides in and the easier it will be to clean.


A quick word on pervertables: There are wooden, metal and glass objects which are not made for anal play but are being used for it, most prominently baseball bats or batons. Before inserting them into your rectum make sure they are deburred and 100% smooth! Especially which with wood it is imperative that is has a sanded and treated surface! Getting a splinter into your colon is always a reason to rush to the ER! As for glass objects, especially vases and bottles: Keep them out of your ass! The glass used to anal toys is a special type of glass that almost never breaks and glass anal toys are always solid. The injuries caused by shards of broken glass inside your rectum can be lethal!

The Bolder Stoll Doll from Regulation

Toy Form Factor

There are two major form factors: Dildos, which are compared to their thickness relatively long shafts with a tapered ending for easier insertion, and plugs, which are shorter and between the maximum diameter and the base taper again so they can stay inside the butt.


Dildos are probably the oldest sex toys humans invented. Stone penises as old as 28.000 years have been excavated. They induce a friction sensation on the nerve endings inside the sphincter while sliding in and out and at best hit the prostate. Depending on the glans’ shape there can be some stretching sensation.

Dildos come in two varieties. The first one are realistic dildos. They mimic the penis shape of humans, animal or anthropomorphic beings. This means the shaft is textured with veins which intensify the friction and thus the sensation. At the bottom end most of the them feature a base shaped like balls. The second variety are shape dildos. They are bullet or torpedo shaped and lack natural texturing.

The Square Peg Depth Probe from Regulation

Somewhere between dildos and plugs are shape dildos which consist of a series of bulges. The most extreme form of this form are anal beads. They are a series of balls connected by a string or a tubes which are inserted into the ass and then slowly pulled out. Of cause these toys aim to create a stretching sensation rather than a friction one.

A special form of dildos are so call depth trainers, also commonly called colon snakes. They are long (at least 35cm long), made out of flexible materials and don’t have much texture; a depth indication scale at most. They are designed to seduce the second sphincter to gradually open up to prepare for deep fisting.  Since this sphincter is not used to physical stimulation and unlike the anus can’t be relaxed purposefully, training it takes some time. So don’t rush it!

The Oxballs Pig Hole Deep from Mr S


The shape of a butt plugs is best compared to the bottom half of a sand clock. From the tip they gradually increase in diameter and then – depending on the plug – either taper again or go directly into a short neck which is attached to a base. Through the gradually increasing diameter the main sensation of plugs is a stretching one.  So plugs are good to slowly accustom to and train the sphincter to a certain diameter.

A special form of plugs are hollow or tunnel plugs. Their outside form is like a butt plug but instead of being solid they have hole in the middle. Through the opening in the middle the tip is dull. So even if you can take the maximum diameter of the plug you might not be able to take it or only after a long pre-stretching. The hole is useful for many things. Through it lube or other liquids can be poured or the closing function of the sphincter can temporarily be taken away. The plug also protects the nerve endings in the sphincter from friction. Thus hollow plugs are especially useful in combination with depth trainers. Such plugs shield the anus from the friction sensation allowing the bottom to focus on what is happening at his second sphincter. When the tunnel plug is made out of a stretchy material (and is large enough) it can be used to fist through it making a formally too small interesting again or put it over a standard butt plug to increase its size.

With the increasing popularity of pet play there is a growing market of tail plugs. Instead of a base an appendix mimicking the look of an animal’s tail (most common are dog and pig tails) is attached to the plug’s body.  When choosing a tail keep two things in mind: Don’t buy a too small plug section because if it slides in too easily it will also slide out easily causing you to lose the tail when walking or wagging. Furthermore the mass ration between the plug and the tail should not be too much off. The center of gravity should be at the plug otherwise there is also the danger of the tail popping out easily. Tails are also popular with switchers not into pet play. When fucking somebody the tail will develop an momentum which is transferred to the plug section which than stimulates the prostate.

Finding the Right Size & Form

The following factors determined first if you will be able to take the anal toy and second how much you will enjoy it.

The Domestic Partner Crack Attack from Regulation

Maximum Diameter

Usually 3cm to 4cm is a good size to start out anal play. As you progress to bigger toys I recommend going up in steps of 1cm to 1.5cm increased maximum diameter. This is enough of a challenge yet you get the satisfaction of conquering the toy after a couple of days to weeks depending on how thoroughly you train. I know that this is costly by trying to get a toy in for weeks and always failing is very frustrating!


The slope of a toy defines how quickly the diameter from the tip on increases.

Even though the sphincter at the anus can somewhat voluntarily be relaxed it still is a muscle humans cannot control completely. It needs to be seduced to open up and in order to establish a certain training level actually carefully (!) stretched like every other muscle. Thus generally speaking steeper slopes are better because they allow the sphincter to open up more gradually. Especially when you are a novice stay away from toys with large dull tips because it will just press against the sphincter and it won’t open up. But even with a well-trained ass you will encounter toys that diameter wise are not really a challenge yet you won’t be able to take due to a weird slope. Sadly there now way to know before the purchase with which toys this is going to be the case so please be prepared for one or two useless purchases.

At butt plugs there are two slopes to look it: First the one before the maximum diameter which I just talked about. The second one is the one behind it. It defines how easily the toy comes out again. When you want to train your sphincter a steep slope is preferable. Once inside you can slowly fuck yourself with the plug, enjoying the stretching sensation. If you want to wear the plug for an extended period of time a duller to non-existing slope is preferable because it makes involuntarily popping out more difficult. However please keep in mind: When keeping a plug in, the “warm-up” effect of pushing it in slowly fades so seducing your sphincter to open up and release the plug becomes increasingly more difficult when keeping it in for long.

The Square Peg Happy Hour from Mr S

Position of Widest Diameter

Especially when you progress in training the position of the widest diameter becomes an important aspect to keep in mind. If you stick with a steep slope and increase the diameter the location of the maximum diameter moves further away from the tip so you have to insert more length for the maximum stretch. Since the colon is a quite small body cavern you might not reach the neck or even the maximum diameter. From a psychological point of view this is bad when training because inserting a toy completely fills you with a sense of accomplishment and giving you an opportunity to rest. This is usually a boost of eagerness to train further. Constantly failing on a plug is quite demotivating.


The texture describes the surface of a toy beyond the material properties (see: Firmness & Surface Smoothness). Since texture increases the friction of a toy it makes the insertion more difficult. So a textured toy with a diameter you usually take easily might not fit afterall.

In the section about natural dildos I have already briefly talked about natural texturing. They comprise of veins, the molded glans and foreskin and when we look at anthropomorphic toys scales, etc.

Detail of the Convex Shape and the Heavily Textured Surface of Apollo the Chimera

On shape dildos and plugs these three texture patters can be found (in ascending order of intensity): Groves, bumps and ridges. Which form delivers the best sensation is very individual. But a good rule of thumb is: the higher the texture is risen the stronger the stimulation. This of cause means that these toys are meant for play when the hole is already relaxed and well played with so it is not about the stretching (sensation) but about teasing the nerves in the sphincter. Please keep in mind that this form of play can wear out an ass quickly so be prepared for the scene to end rather sooner than later.

Extra Features

Sometimes toys come with extra features for a more intense or varied play. The most commonly found extra are sucktion cups. They enable you to temporarily securely attach the toy to a smooth surface (tiles are best for it) using vacuum. This is nifty feature when you really want to ride at toy so it doesn’t slip away.

For training the sphincter or creating a feeling of being stuffed without being able to take large diameters inflatable toys are useful. Once inserted you can pump them up in order to increase the diameter. I recommend buying only inflatable toys with a solid core for easier insertion.

Detail of the Base with Suction Cup Feature

A less commonly found feature are cum tubes. At the tip of the toy there is a small opening onto which a tube is attached. At the end of this tube is a syringe filled with a cum like lube. If you pus the end of the syringe the cum is getting splashed into the colon simulating an ejaculation. As nifty and unique as this sensation might be, a cum tube makes cleaning and drying of the toy more difficult.

For added stimulation some anal toys feature a vibrating function. When you are using quite hard toys this sensation can also be achieved by pressing a magic wand against the toy’s base. Another added stimulation is e-stim. Please refer to my in-depth review of e-stim plugs here for more information.

Personal Recommendations

This is a highly subjective, certainly not complete list of brand and retailers where good anal toys can be found. From these I source my anal toys from because I trust them for their product safety and quality.

Caring for your Anal Toys

Cleaning & Safer Sex

From a Safer Sex point of view a toy should either be used only by one person or covered by a condom. While the first is unlikely if you are having an active “social” life, the latter is unpractical as soon as it comes to toys larger than an L size penis. So cleaning the toys the right way is essential.

To clean your toys after play fill the sink with water between 40°C and 50°C, add dish soap and let the toy soak for approx. 15 minutes. I recommend using dish soap without perfume or lotion because these additives are bad for rubber and some PVCs. If you have used very thick water based lube add salt to break down the lube. At the soaking scrub the toys with a soft brush and rinse the soap water off. As a first step of sanitizing fill the sink again with hot water, add vinegar-based cleaner (possibly organic because you want to shove the toy up your butt again) and let it soak for a quarter of an hour. The acid in the vinegar will also deal with most of the unpleasant smells. Rinse the toy off and let it dry. Finally spray the toy with a sanitizer. The agents in the sanitizer can make glossy surfaces dull so you might want to try it on the base where the blemished surface is inconspicuous.

With some materials other means of sterilization are also possible once the lube has been washed off.  Metal toys can be flamed or autoclaved; the latter is also possible with high quality silicone toys.

A common question is how to deal with discolored toys. Sadly this effect is irreversible and simply comes with ages of plastic toys. To avoid it, buy only black toys.


In order to have long lasting fun with your toys keep some simple storage rules in mind. Always clean the toys after using them. The lube or body fluids otherwise can foster chemical reactions which might harm the toy. The storage place should be dry and well ventilated especially when you are storing toys from different manufacturers or made out of different materials together. The toys must never touch! The different plasticizers used by different manufacturers and materials can cause the toys to dissolve when touching or the air being filled with them. If the process started (an area getting sticky or gooy) it is too late. Sadly the process is irreversible and sooner than later you have to throw away the toy. Especially soft toys should be stored upright (or in case of depth trainers loosely rolled up) otherwise they might get permanent creases.

My Weekend with Grindr

My First Grindr Pic

My First Grindr Pic

I know I sometimes been a late adoperter yet I want to share this little experience with you.

For those who don’t know Grindr: It is a smartphone app that lets you find gay and bisexual men in your vicinity based on your current location data. I downloaded the app several times over the course of the last few years but never really used and thus quickly deleted it again. Last weekend there was an annual pop music festival in front of my dorm that attracts a four figure crowed and I thought “Maybe some cute boys make their way out to Lüneburg. So why not give Grindr a decent try?” So I downloaded the app on Friday morning and was excited to see what the weekend would bring.

The Offer

The major gay dating and actually social media platform I am using is PlanetRomeo. It is the major gay dating website in Germany. All my friends are on there, it is our main communication platform. There profile data you can enter is very detailed (though I would like to have more detailed kinky sex options), you can write a novel as a profile text and as a plus user you can upload as many pictures as you want to. So to a certain degree I feel I can create a to a degree authentic and deep picture of me. So creating a Grindr profile was a bit difficult. You can enter a nick name that most user don’t bother doing, the stats hardly go beyond rough physical  data, there is a small headline that can easily be overlook and you can write three lines as a profile text. The major selection criterion to click on a profile is the picture. So I put a lot of thought into choosing the right one (and replacing it quite frequently). The picture should at best represent me, my interests and what I am looking for on the platform. So I chose this because it has rubber, a little bit of red (I honestly didn’t think I would find BDSM dates there yet a fisting scene is quickly negotiated) and was very popular on PlanetRomeo. Once I uploaded it, I thought about replacing it. Since it is the only picture out there potential dates see I wanted them to see my full face and especially my glasses because that is the thing that for some weird reasons put the most people off online.

My Second Grindr Picture. Please, not comments

My Second Grindr Picture. Please, not comments

Grindr doesn’t have a website where you can alter the profile (or I haven’t found it yet). So I have to transfer pictures to my tablet and upload it from there onto the app. Because I was lazy and lay in bed I chose to take another picture out of my PlanetRomeo profile. Well… You don’ t have to tell me that I need new and better soccer gear pics. So that picture was on briefly on Grindr.

Next attempt: A picture from my more “civilian” PlanetRomeo profile (yes, I have more than one) taken the Sunday after Munich Pride 2015 relaxing next to the pool of a friend. A good picture of me, I like it a lot BUT: Again, you can’t tell from the picture that the sunglasses are correctional ones, I appear way slimmer than I actually am and I don’t have a Mohawk anymore.

Last profile picture change for now: In leather but rubber, too much top appearance but up to date and a better picture of me. So I stuck with it.

My Third Grindr Picture

My Third Grindr Picture

The Range

The first impression of the users: Everybody has a sixpack. Seriously: Everybody looked like a model on there, had sexy smiles, a bit of scruff. That was intimidating since I would have to “compete” with this gorgeous men for dates. At least theoretically because the majority of them lived in Hamburg or Hannover. Almost nobody lived close by and despite my expectations there was not rush of Grindr users coming to the music festival.

It took me some time to figure out that you can filter the users displayed by different criteria also so called “Tribes” which are scenes you can associate yourself with. I choose “Leather” as a filter assuming that this would be the most likely group I find interesting guys in. That made the distance problem even worse! Apparently there are nearly no “leather” guys in Hamburg and even Berlin fell short. The next large number of leather guys was in London. Also: I now learned that I was completely overdressed in my profile picture. Almost nobody wore gear. Again: Six packs and scruffy smiles with perfect teeth everywhere. I would have at least expected some bears or leather daddys yes nothing.

My Fourth and Final Grindr Picture

My Fourth and Final Grindr Picture

The Sales Pitch

I didn’t contact anybody I saw there. They were all out of my league and I was way too intimidated and afraid to get the usual “How does a guy like you think a guy like me would be interested in someone like you?!” So I simply waited. Five people actually messaged me. One was a bot. I was genuinely surprised that from being online for a weekend that only one bot messaged me. From what I have heard about Grindr I was ready to block user by the hour. So they finally got that sorted out which is a plus.

The other four messages were on one side expected: They were subs looking for a top, too horned up to read my profile text. What did surprise me was the distance: People were writing to me from Switzerland, Scotland and the south of France. So much for a location based, vicinity oriented app. But these chats quickly died after the realized they were not getting what they were looking for.

Honestly I was a bit disappointed at the end of the weekend. My image of Grindr was largely shaped by Grindr Fails posted by friends and corresponding accounts on Twitter. But nothing. No hilarity or anecdote happened. Maybe I am not good-looking enough to attract a… colorful crowd.

The Check

So what is the conclusion after a weekend on Grindr? An unspectacular one. I get more new contacts on Recon which is not that big in Germany and the contact quality even on Tumblr is higher. Maybe people with the body of an Adonis who live in really big gay centers like Berlin or large cities in the USA actually get laid using Grindr. I might give it another shot at a big kinky event like Folsom Europe but for now I can very live without it. If you want to get in touch with me hit me up on Recon, PlanetRomeo, Twitter or Tumblr.

Buyer’s Guide To Collars

ToyTorture.com has always been sort of a reflection of my own play style and my own desires manifested in toys. As authentic and honest reviews at that approach might create the flaw of it is that I am missing out on entire categories of toys. Sometimes I get asked about these categories over and over. Chastity is one of them, collars is another. Since a collar is the strongest bondage device out there yet I am not really into them I decided at the end of the Heavy Bondage Special to give a short overview of the collars out there. Especially in the paragraph about the symbolism of collars I am making a lot of generalizations. Please do not feel offended if your individual perception is different but celebrate it as the diversity that is the heart of our community. After that I briefly talk about the different materials collars can be made out of. The last and main part of this article are showing different kinds of collars. I sorted the collars into two categories: The first are decorative collars which primarily serve a symbolic purpose and through their designed are not primarily designed to be integrated into play. The latter category are functional collars which are made to be played with.


The Symbolism of Collars

Collars have a strong symbolic meaning in the BDSM community. They are a sign that a person belongs to someone. It is common for top who wants to establish a deeper and long-term orientated relationship with a bottom to put a collar around his neck to show him and the world that the sub belongs to him and is no longer free. This act is called “collaring”. Being collard usually implies a interdependent relationship: The top promises to give the sub something usually guidance, protection and play in exchange for the subs devotion, obedience, trust and loyalty. Due to the powerful contract which a collar symbolizes it is a very special piece of gear which is treated unlike any other. Usually only the top is allowed to put it on and take it off, most of the time also only the top may touch it. Touching the collar of a sub without asking the top for permission is considered highly offensive and even hostile by some people. In some high protocol situations it is even forbidden to talk to a collard sub because you are violating the property of another top. Also in a high protocol environment it is not uncommon for subs to walk around with a collar around his neck but with an open lock. This is a signal that he is open for a top to collar him. Closing the lock just for fun or laughs again is offensive because the sub probably hopes to get at least some of the affection listed above from the persons who closed the lock.


Collars can be made of nearly every fetish material out there. Most common are leather collars. Because the material is skin friendly and to a certain degree can absorb sweat it is best for long term wear. Rubber and neoprene lack this quality so wearing it for extended periods of time can lead to skin irritation, especially when wearing a collar out of stiff industrial rubber without deburred edges on bare skin. The last common material to mention here is metal. I have seen collars being made out of all different kinds of metal. However I would recommend only ones being made out of stainless steel or aluminum because even when exposed to sweat they do not rust. Other metals like cooper or steel oxidizes. Because a collar through constant movement experiences some physical stress corrosion prevention applied to steel like chrome or zinc wears off and the collar can rust again. Of cause noble metals like gold or platinum do not rust but you have to be quite the posh kinkster to afford such a collar. Metal collars come in form of chain, chainmail, rings or steel cable. When it comes to chain you can choose between welded and forged chain. Welded chain industrial made and thus cheaper and has a deburred weldseam. Depending on the quality the deburration is not as good as it should be so there is a potential for scratches when wearing a collar. So before wearing it check the seams of there are not rough edges.

More uncommon materials I have seen collars made out of are braided rope, jeans cloth, bike chain and tires.

Decorative Collars


Probably the most common form of the collars and thus comes in various styles (p.e. from Mr S or Regulation). All have in common that they are closed by a pad lock which is mostly worn up front. The most common pattern is the anchor chain which is made out of round links which either come in long or short versions and in various thicknesses. Even when using a small pad lock the link size is usually so large that this kind of collar can’t be worn discreetly under a shirt. Depending on the personal style the chain can be worn longer or tight around the neck. The advantage of this chain is that you can easily attach things to the collar using pad locks or carabiners. Depending on the pad lock quality you can grab and pull the sub on this collar.

Mr S Yellow Colors Aluminum Chainmail Collar

Mr S Yellow Colors Aluminum Chainmail Collar


Chainmail is a material where small metal rings are linked together to form a mesh-like surfaces. Collars out of this material are lighter and smaller and thus more discreet than chains. Of cause they are also more fragile and should not be pulled on. A nifty feature of the Mr S Aluminum ones is that they come in different colors so you can use them a bit as a hanky. If you can a bit more weighted feeling try out the stainless steel one.

Torquator Collar

Stylewise somewhere between a chain pattern and chainmail this collar was originally designed to restrain dogs. So this collar is popular by dog players especially of wild ones. When pulling onto this collar please be careful because serious injuries can be the result.


Cable Lock

Another discreet option is the cable lock collar from Recon. The collar itself is made out of coated steel but since there are no moving links the coating will probably will not rub off keeping the cable from rusting. The two endings are made out of stainless steel with colored rubber accents so again you can show your favorite kink. Unlike the chainmail collar this one is also closed with a lock which has a great psychologically effect. The lock and the collar are small and discreet enough to be worn under a dress shirt during work yet to frail to be pulled on.

Rope Collar

If a closed look is too much of a statement or you don’t like the idea of metal around your neck (after all a collar is all about the headspace), Mr S came up with a rope collar. It is made out of black braided rope and closed with a leather strap and a non-locking roller buckle. If you ask the guys at Mr S nicely the can probably make you this collar also in other colors

Tolan Collar

This is basically an ergonomically shaped ring of steel around the sub’s neck. It is nearly seamless and rather sleek so it can be worn under a business shirt without showing off or attracting attention. Since it is made out of stainless steel it will not rust.


I am not sure if to put jougs into this category or the play category because wearing them for an extended period of time is definitely a punishment! Jougs or iron collars are made out of piece of steel, sometimes lined with leather for additional comfort. They are closed by padlocks, integrated locks or screws. Sometimes they come with d-rings welded onto them for added play possibilities. Sometimes following antic models they already have cuffs for the hands attached or even also feet welded with chains onto them. Another version are double rigid irons for the neck and the wrists for real stress bondage.

The Heaviest Parus Steel Collar Weighing 8.5kg

The Heaviest Parus Steel Collar Weighing 8.5kg

The most sever iron collars I know off are made by Parus in Munich. I already wrote a Christmas gift tip about them last year. They are really well made, almost seamless with the integrated lock and so heavy that with some models I would like to recommend consulting your doctor about disc problems before putting them on!

Regardless of what kind of iron collar you are getting when shopping for a joug please watch for deburred edges otherwise severe abrasions can happen!

Functional Collars

Bondage collar

Another quite common type of collars (p.e. from Mr S or Regulation). They basically are like a cuff style restraint just larger to fit around the neck. So very often you can get matching collars to your existing restraint set. Being made for play they come with d-rings to attach the sub to thing or restraint to the neck. Depending on the individual style some are locking which adds a sense of bondage. A pro tip: If you want to fetter a large boot, p.e. an MX boot, and your restraint set’s ankle cuffs are too small try out a collar. Most of the time they are large enough and will serve you well as a boot restraint.

Fetters Posture Collar

Fetters Posture Collar

Posture collar

A posture collar (look at Mr S or Regulation) is a more intense form of the bondage collar. It is quite wide and usually padded, sometimes it also has an anatomically formed chin rest. The effect of this design is that tilting of the head and nodding is getting extremely difficult locking the head in one place. Usually such a collar will also have d-rings and there are locking versions out there.

Chocking Collar

More a breathplay toy than just a simple collar please use this one with caution! This collar is basically a latigo leather belt that is closed by a rolling buckle tightly around the neck. On the other side of the belt is a small metal loop with a roller feature through which the belt exits. In that end a d-ring is added onto which a leash can be attached. If you pull on the leash the collar will tighten and chock the person wearing it.

Shock Collar

Shock collars were originally designed to train dogs. Onto a nylon collar a remote controllable box with two electrode pins is attached. Usually this kind of collars come with different intensity settings. I implore you to take advantage of these different settings and don’t start out too high! The shock boxes are designed to train even dogs which have thick fur and skin. On human skin they can leave burn marks or even damage the nerve system! There are fetish versions out there which are not so powerful but being a power bottom and pain pig myself I can see the temptations of “the real deal” especially when it comes to dog play. Yet still please be careful. Not sexual kink is worth losing your health permanently.

Fetters Wrist-to-Neck Restraints

Fetters Wrist-to-Neck Restraints

Wrist to neck Restraint

Not really just a collar but the leather version of an iron collar with attached restraints. It is a leather lined locking collar onto which two locking wrist restraints are riveted. These rivets allow for some movement around its axis but otherwise the head has to go where the hand wants to be. Especially with added bondage mitts this will leave the sub quite helpless.

Collars Accessories

Especially with the raise of pup and dog play in the last couple of years collar accessories have gained popularity. Most commonly dog tags are used either in their original purpose to mark the dog and write his name on it. But I have also seen a bouquet of different colored tags as hankies. Of cause a dog needs guidance and sometimes restraining so leather leashes become quite popular.

Preserving the Burning Fire – On Outgrowing and Passing on Toys

S&M stands for sexual magic

– Patrick Califia

Passing on toys and gear has a long tradition in the BDSM and fetish community. One of the reasons for that is the concept of energy transfer during a scene. What happens during play is more than just the exchange of mental or physical force between the top and the sub. An intense connection between them is formed that consists out of more than the sum of its parts (If you are curious about this more spiritual aspect of BDSM I recommend the works of Marc Thompson or Joeff Mains). For some people this connection is the origin of headspace, for some the sole reason they engage in BDSM and certainly an intense, overwhelming and mind-shattering experience when you experience it for the first time.

The First Restraints I have ever bought: The McHurt Ihsan Wrist, Ankle and Boots Cuff and Hand Suspension Restraints

The First Restraints I have ever bought: The McHurt Ihsan Wrist, Ankle and Boots Cuff and Hand Suspension Restraints

The concept of energy exchange also includes that some of the energy of the players stays in their gear and toys. For that reason some pieces of gear or toys are special and dear to perverts and not easily parted with. Most often floggers, boots or bar vests are considered to be special in that way. In my case three pairs of McHurt restraints are that way. They were among the first things I reviewed for this website and liked them a lot. It feels, they have been with me forever. But when I looked up the order date for writing this article I was stunned: I had only bought them in early December 2011. Not even half a decade felt like a life time. This illustrates really well what they mean to me. All the fun, experiments, surprising experiences and intense emotions are somewhat bound to them. Yet as I matured as a kinkster I outgrew them. While I still stand to my 3 ½ year old review and consider them a good pair of restraints to start out with I want more: More padding, more D-rings, more build quality, more features. So I choose the Fetters Padded Locking Wrist and Ankle Cuffs from Regulation to replace them.

This evaluation process happened with some toys over the last year. I looked at them and realized I haven’t been using them in a long time; saw no real play scenario for them anymore so I sold them to friends, to strangers, to anybody interested. These restraints were different. They not only represent for me the scenes I had in them but also my getting serious about BDSM: Committing to my longings, considerably investing money in this part of myself and somehow giving my desires a physical representation. Yet despite all these arguments I decided to pass them on. As soon as I would get the new ones the old ones would become an exhibition piece. Laying in my toy chest, reminding me of good times and fond memories. But like an instrument not being played anymore, they would be a dead accumulation of matter, slowly fading away, losing all the energy stored in them. So giving them away just by chance was no option! They are too special for me to see them disappear out of my life. Ultimately I decided to give them to a young pervert who is slowly exploring his desires, being just like me 4 ½ years ago willing to commit to his dreams and turn them into reality. So these special pieces will continue to live on in the BDSM scene until he outgrows them and hopefully then passes them on to someone special just like I did.

As important as these restraints are to me I am lucky that I am not parting completely from them: The set I ordered back then also included a pair of boot restraints, large enough to even fetter MX boots. A toy I have not seen elsewhere yet and thus I am keeping it: For memory sake, for current play, for future times when this mythical and mind-blowing bond between top and sub manifests again.

Hail thee who play

– Michael McClure

Bondage Hardware Special Part 6 –Emergency Kit

Easy to spot and handy enough to take to dungeon parties.

Easy to spot and handy enough to take to dungeon parties.

This article is the last part of the Bondage Hardware Special. In this text I will show you what I keep in the emergency kit that I usually take with me when I go out for play. It gives me a bit of confidence knowing that if something goes wrong I can properly deal with it. This confidence of cause requires some discipline so before each time I take this bag with me I check if everything is there in a decent amount and still good. If not, I replace it. Some items might sound strange to you or trivial because they are standard equipment of every play location. However if you ever had to wipe away blood in a play space where paper towels were scarce you don’t laugh about a tissue pack in an emergency kit.

The kit I have put together might not be perfect but it has proven itself in emergencies. If you feel I have forgotten something important please send me an e-mail.


Gloves are the basis for every wound care. It prevents the wound from being infected with bacteria from your hand (if you put them on in a correct way) and protects you from possible infections. I have to admit that I don’t carry sterile one in my kit but use hand sanitizer on them before touching the injured person.

Band-aid & Adhesive Tape

Don’t really know what to write about band-aids. Should a no brainer and should be kept in a separate plastic bag to prevent it from possible contamination.

Gauze Bandage & Compresses

If a band-aid is not enough these are the right tools to staunch a wound. To some this might sound a bit overkill and I have to admit that I luckily never had to use mine. Yet I have seen suspension setups failing, tall people walking against arches and getting lacerations on their forehead. Again: Better be safe than sorry.

First Aid Blanket

Another better safe than sorry item. I can hardly think of a play induced injury that would require a first aid blanket but they are useful after a circulatory collapse or hypoglycemia.


Tissues are quite versatile objects: You can use them as an impro compress, turn them into alcohol wipes or simple wipe away blood.


There are three different kinds of disinfection products in my bag. The most important one is my 90% alcohol solution. Some disinfection sprays have additives which make them a bit more effective but can cause skin irritations. Because of that I use alcohol to sanitize abrased skin like a flogged back or my toys after using them. If the wound is deeper or larger I use a wound spray which also disinfects and helps the wound heal. Yet the one I use stings even more than alcohol so I use it only in emergencies. The last disinfection product is sanitizing hand gel which can be incorporated into play p.e. messaging it into the skin area.


There are a number of different ointments out there for different purposes, like panthenol for abrased skin or zinc oxide for treating burns. Because space in my bag is limited I chose a diaper rash ointment which is sold in travel size. With panthenol, zinc oxide, chamomile and marigold extract it is not as potent as a pure wound ointments yet I like it for its versatility. It is good enough for a first treatment, potent enough to (almost) restore worn nipple over night for another scene and soothes abused sphincter after a heavy fisting.

Horse Ointment

This product raises the most eye brows. Originally designed to help horses recover after races this gel has a lot of soothing, cooling and anti-bruise ingredients. Especially when you have damaged joints this ointment works wonder after stress bondage or kneeling! The smell is a bit hate it or love it but it magically restores mobility over night.

Emergency Hardware

Emergency Hardware

EMT Scissors, Emergency Knife, Belt Cutter & Multi Tool

Please read last week’s article why I consider these tools essential. I usually have at least a pair of EMT scissors in my play bag but in an emergency I don’t want to search but just quickly grab thus I keep an additional one in my bright red bag.

Flash light

Another eye brow raiser in my kit. I once attended a play party when there was a power failure and the dungeon went dark and through the following turmoil my sub started to panic. Undoing a sub in total darkness is no fun so I now carry a flash light with me. It comes in also handy when you look for keys, nipple clamps or other small stuff you tend to loose in a dark space.

Consolatury Candy for After Scene Care.

Consolatury Candy for After Scene Care.

Chocolate, Consolatory Cookies & Dextrose

While both candies are useful when you are playing with a person suffering from diabetes these are more aftercare items. A BDSM scene puts the body in a state of alertness and thus mobilizes emergency resources which is quite exhausting for the sub. While the endorphin level is high and this state continues you don’t feel how spent you are. In order to prevent a crash I give and take dextrose after a scene. The chocolate has the same effect but also has a bit of rewarding component. Maybe the top pushed you onto your edge and beyond and I have some of the fondest memories cuddling with my top after an intense scene happily munching my chocolate and cookies.

Cough & Iceland Moos

When you have incorporated gases into your breath play like poppers in the aftermath you lungs and airways could be irritated, phlegm and you can experience problems breathing. Strong cough drops help clear the airways and Iceland moos helps regenerate the irritated areas.

Condoms & Lube

Again as with the EMT scissors: The emergency kit is the place where I know that I definitely have a stash in case of a horniness emergency.


This was the last part of the Bondage Hardware Special. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any suggestions or comments, please let me know.

Sticking to the theme there will be a special on Heavy Bondage toys soon.

Bondage Hardware Special Part 5 –Safety Hardware

The last four weeks were about different means to fetter a sub whether with rope or how to most effectively use all the great other bondage gear that is out there. But what if something goes wrong and you can’t release the sub out of the bondage setup? This article is about different tools that in a case of emergency will help release a sub in a secure way. Usually this goes to the cost of the bondage gear but better replace a rope or restraint than having to go to the emergency room! If you are hesitant about your precious and expensive ropes, buy them from Twisted Monk. He will give you a discount when you replace cut ropes because like me he values the sub’s security over the preservation of gear.

Mr S Safety Scissors

Mr S Safety Scissors


Scissors are the most essential safety tools of a playroom if you don’t use chain or metal wire for bondage. If you buy the right ones they will cut the sub out of restraints with jammed locks, release mummified bondage bottoms and slice band aids in the right length. To my own surprise I still see high quality kitchen scissors in playroom with the argument that they cut really well. While having a kitchen scissor is better than having none I would not recommend using them. Due to their pointy end they can cause injuries. Instead buy emergency scissors. You can get them in any good fetish stores (like Mr S or Regulation) and most of the time they are surprisingly cheaper there than in pharmacies and drug stores. These emergency scissors are good for the most common playroom emergencies like cutting rope, leather or Segufix restraints. If you are into heavier bondage like fiberglass casting or you high resistance gear incorporating Kevlar I would recommend investing more money. There are safety scissors out there used in ambulances to cut bikers out of Kevlar reinforced bike gear. The costs 200€+ but are well worth the money if you play that heavy.

Bolt Cutters

If you fancy steel over leather and rope this are your safety scissors. Bolt cutters will open jammed locks, cut steel wires or bend open chain elements or D-rings if necessary. Bolt cutters are usually certified for maximum thickness of steel they can handle. I would recommend you to buy a model that can handle 20% more than your thickest chain just to have a safety margin. There are people out there who use die grinders or oscillating tools for cutting metal. While they are quicker and require no brute force to cut through metal I would not recommend them. In order not to harm the sub he needs to lay still and the person using the tools needs a calm hand, both conditions that are usually not met in a case of emergency.

Finally a word about the materials a bolt cutter can cut: Usually they are designed to cut steel. Because aluminum is a rather tough metal most bolt cutters can’t cut it so you need different means to cut open most climbing carabiners.

Emergency Knife for Rope Cutting with a Belt Cutter

Emergency Knife for Rope Cutting with a Belt Cutter

Emergency Knife

This kind of knife is designed to cut through tough material in cases of emergency. They come in different varieties. Mine is designed to be place under a rope and sever through it without any danger for the person lying under the rope. There are also versions out there with a point end that can cut through tougher material like Kevlar but naturally with this design can potentially injure the sub. All blades have a mechanical locking mechanism so even when applying great force the blade won’t close. A nifty thing is that most emergency knifes have a belt cutter on one end.

Belt Cutter

For most of my bondage setups I use tension belts made out of nylon. This special cutter cuts through them like butter if they are taut. Some of them even cut through thin strings. Because unlike scissors you don’t have to open and close the belt cutter in some situations they are a quicker way to cut someone free.

Leatherman Multi Tool

Leatherman Multi Tool

Multi Tool

This article is called security hardware so this is the right place to talk about multi tools. While the tools describe above are designed to release subs out of a predicament this is more of a precaution tool. Sometimes you see a loose screw, a rough edge or other imperfections in your playroom you usually would not necessarily fix right away because you would need to get your tools. Sadly these little things can cause big problems. Because of that I keep a multi tool in the playroom for all the little things that need to be fixed right away. Besides that multi tools come with scissors, a knife, needle-nosed pliers and reamers. While they might not be strong enough or designed for injury protection when used close to humans they are better than nothing when you need a tool fast. Some multi tools even come with a set of hexes which is useful when you dislocated the hex to open the ball stretcher.

While there are a lot of inexpensive multi tools sold, I strongly recommend investing the money into a quality brand product. Most other multi tools are so flimsy that pose a threat in their own.


While the tools presented in this article help to prevent greater injuries sometimes it might be too late. So in the next and thus last part of the Bondage Hardware Special I will take you on a tour through my emergency bag and thus through all the things I consider essential to keep at hand when playing hard.

Bondage Hardware Special Part 4 – Accessories

Welcome to the fourth part of the Bondage Hardware Special. This article will be about all the things you might not necessarily think off when you plan a bondage scene. Yet there are many scenarios where these things are nifty or even essential.ToyTorture.com has always been a website offering advice and information for people just starting out in the scene. So for the experienced player many things might be standard dungeon equipment and thus are trivial bunt since I wanted to give an overview about all things I consider important please bear with me. You might find something you have not though off yet.

Juggling Balls, Bells, etc.

Especially when bondage aficionados think about scenes the scenario can’t be too strict and inescapable. As tempting as this scenario is especially when it comes to gags it has a safety risk because the sub can’t articulate a safe word anymore. One way to get around this is giving him something to hold onto that he can drop if he needs to articulate a concern. This can be a juggling ball or a bell if the top wants also an acoustic alert.

I know that this is kind of a crutch because in some scenarios like sleepsacks or straightjackets an object can’t be hold and focusing on holding onto something might keep a sub from really going under into the headspace. But especially when playing with new kinksters just starting to venture deeper into heavier bondage I find an additional safety line a good way to establish trust and confidence.

A Sippy Cup from IKEA

A Sippy Cup from IKEA

Sippy Cups

Especially when it comes to stress or heavy gear bondage people subs tend to sweat a lot so it is important to stay hydrated. Being in a bondage predicament however limits the possibility to drink properly. The sub either spills the liquid or the water flows into his mouth too quickly making him choke. I found sippy cups like the ones used in retirement homes or nurseries a good and secure way to provide the sub with water. I have experimented with drinking straws but was not too impressed.

Human Waste Disposal

Everything that goes into the body has to leave it at some point of time. Especially when it comes to long term bondage this might pose a problem because when nature’s urges call you are not able to get out of the bondage in time or you don’t want to.

  1. Urine Bottles
    A Non-autoclave Urine Bottle

    A Non-autoclave Urine Bottle

    Developed for people who can’t go to the bath room these bottles are designed to allow easy pissing into them. However in some bondage configurations or with some smaller dicks it can be a challenge to piss into them.

  2. Diapers
    In this case I would recommend diapers. They are also handy when you pack the sub so well that his dick can’t be accessed or if the bondage scene lasts so long that feces might be become an issue. There are different kinds of diapers out the. Traditional diapers made for adults can take considerable amounts of feces and piss without leaking. However they need to expand in order to work properly so take this into consideration when fettering around the crotch. If you just expect not too much urine there are thin diapers out there for people with bladder problems that can’t handle too much liquid. While adult diapers are usually sold at pharmacies you can get the latter kind of diapers in most drug stores.


Another body fluid that can cause problems is sweat. Again a problem with long term or gear bondage (particularly rubber gear) sweat can leak out of the gear which is especially annoying when you are playing on the bed you want to sleep in later.

  1. Pool Liner
    Available in most kinkster’s favorite color black and widely available at hardware stores this tarp is water proof. However it just keeps the water from sinking into anything so be careful when getting up or moving the tarp in order to get rid of the liquid.
  2. Towels
    I though this would be a no-brainer but many people are actually surprised when they see a stack of towels on my play cart. So this is a reminder that it is wise to have towels accessible in your playroom. For bondage place a once or twice folded one under areas where leakage is possible (p.e. when rubber gear ends or under non-waterproof zips of sleepsacks), use them to soak up spilled liquids or just keep them ready to rub the sweat of the sub when he has gotten out of the gear.
  3. Back Print of a Changing Table Cover

    Back Print of a Changing Table Cover

    Changing Table Covers
    When you are like me living in a dorm room the two options above are kind of difficult to live with. Tarps need to be laid out in order to dry which is a challenge in small spaces. Towels also need to be washed and dried which in some dorms (like the one I stayed during my exchange year in the USA) is not as easy as it might sound. My suggested solution for this are changing table covers. They are designed to soak up liquids and be disposed afterwards. Besides bondage I used them for fisting scenes in my bed. Just place one under the ass and you don’t have to worry about lube dripping out of the bottom’s ass. Changing table covers are quite inexpensive yet they are not too large and most of the time come with prints appealing to babies. There are also bed covers for incontinent adults which are larger yet unproportinal more expensive.

This article was about nifty but not necessarily crucial objects. Next week will be about security hardware which I consider a must!

Bondage Hardware Special Part 3 – Connection Hardware

In the first two parts of this Bondage Hardware Special I presented to you means how to attach subs to themselves, each other or furniture. This article is about all the hardware you can use to connect different means. This hardware is especially useful when using Rope Substitutes I talked about last week because unlike rope in most cases you can’t simply tie a knot to connect two or more straps.

Two Versions of Uncertified Aluminum Carabiners

Two Versions of Uncertified Aluminum Carabiners

Before I talk about the different kinds of connection hardware I first need to talk about an important term when it comes to bondage equipment: The breaking load. It measures the amount of force an object can withstand without giving in. The certified breaking load has often two measurements: The static breaking load measures the amount of weight that can hang from an object without giving in, the dynamic breaking load gives the amount of moving (p.e. swinging) weight a piece of hardware can deal with without failing. In most cases the breaking load differs between an open and a closed gate and in which direction the force is applied. The breaking load is measured in Newton (N). One Newton is approx 100g on the earth’s surface. This is why most of the time the breaking load is measure in Kilo Newton (kN) which equates approx. 100kg.

The breaking load is important for liability reasons. If you use uncertified equipment and something happens it is possible that your insurance will not cover for you. Most of the time a breaking load is certified for a specific piece of connection hardware but it states explicitly on the packaging that it is not made for supporting humans. This is a legal grey zone: Yes, theoretically insurance companies can deny your claim if something happens because the hardware was not certified for human usage but I have never heard of such a case.


Carabiners are probably the most often used piece of connection hardware. They are a wire bend into roughly oval or triangular shape with a gate to open it. Usually a spring keeps the gate closed if you don’t apply pressure. They are made out of stainless steel, steel, aluminum, titanium, carbon fiber, composite and plastic.

Carabiners come in many different forms which sadly are not all made for human bondage.

  1. Clips
    An opend Pear Clip where you can see the Sharp Edges of the Gate

    An opend Pear Clip where you can see the Sharp Edges of the Gate

    In Germany this type of carabiner is also called “Hardware Store Carabiner” because you can get them in a hardware store quite cheaply. Despite being used in many playrooms I would not recommend them for BDSM. First of all there is the breaking load. In order to get a static breaking load larger than quarter of a ton which in my opinion is the minimum for fettering humans you have to buy pear clips with the size 90x9mm and up which have been manufactured under DIN 5299. Second their general design is in my opinion bad for gear play. The end of the gate is an arrow-shaped hook that locks into place between two noses. These elements are quite sharp. In a good case they just scratch your gear buy I have seen rubber gear tear from the sharp edges. Despite the disadvantages I will not condemn them. I am not a big fan of them yet due to economically reasons I use them p.e. for attaching chains to attachment points when I am sure that I won’t exceed the breaking load. When using them just keep the potential problems in mind.
    Besides the steel clips there are non-certified aluminum ones which are great for attaching things like weights to parachutes.

  2. Climbing carabiners
    Three Different Versions of Climbing Carabiners with the Bracking Load Printed on them

    Three Different Versions of Climbing Carabiners with the Bracking Load Printed on them

    You don’t have to worry about these problems when you buy climbing carabiners. They are made out of aluminum and thus are light weight. Being made to support human beings even when falling down their dynamic breaking load exceeds 4kN in most cases and thus is more than you will ever need. Because they are designed not to damage rope they have no rough edges so no need to worry about your gear. You can get climbing carabiners in many different designs which fit different needs. They are pricy though but definitely gear you will keep for the rest of your life. A bonus is that unlike the steel clips you can get them in many different colors to fit your personal style.

  3. Panic Snaps
    This kind of carabiners will open even when there is force pulling onto them.

    Left: Saddle Panic Snaps Right: A Sailing Panic Hook

    Left: Saddle Panic Snaps
    Right: A Sailing Panic Hook

    They are used for any situation where you would to have to life the sub in order to the d-ring out of the carabiner p.e. the wrist restraints used for above the head fixation on a St.-Andrews-Cross or any form of suspension bondage.
    Panic snaps come in two varieties: The ones for sailing and the ones for animals. The sailing ones have an eyelet at the bottom and on top a gate that is hold shut with a pin. If you want to release the gate pull out the pin. The ones for animals come in again on two varieties: One for dog leashes and one for holding saddles. The two varieties are hard to distinguish but are naturally quite different in breaking load! So I recommend the sailing panic snaps because they are made out of stainless steel (no problem at piss parties), they are lighter and smaller. If you take the smallest sailing panic snap you will probably need an additional shackle you put through the eyelet in order to make it larger.

  4. Stainless Steel Double Ended Carabiner

    Stainless Steel Double Ended Carabiner

    Double Ended Clips
    As the name of the carabiner already says it has a clip on each side connected by a metal bar. They have a very low breaking load. However I like them a lot especially for beginners. If you get well-made stainless steel ones they have no rough edges so your gear is not in danger. Further more in most situations the subs can open them by himself thus freeing him.

Left: Shackle with Breaking Load of 4.600kn Right: Shackle with a Breaking Load of 0.25 kN

Left: Shackle with Breaking Load of 4.600kn
Right: Shackle with a Breaking Load of 0.25 kN


Another piece of nautical hardware very well fitted for bondage. Shackles are made out of stainless steel wires which are bend either in ¾ of a circle or two parallel straights with a half circle at the end. On the other end there is a pin which is screwed into a threat closing the shackle. Theoretically a shackle can do the same things as a carabiner but through having to twist in order to close it I find it more practical when I want to connect two things more permanently or when an eyelet is too small.

Screw Links

An even more permanent connection are screw links. They are made out of metal wires and come in oval or triangular shapes. On one side is a sheath with a thread on one end. If you unscrew the sheath it will open a recess. Originally designed to connect two ends of a chain it can also be used to create additionally attachment points, extend a chain or enlarge a too small eyelet.

Pad Locks

While theoretically they are able to connect a D-ring to a chain p.e. I would not recommend using pad locks are connection hardware. In most cases the lock will turn that the force pulls on the body and the shackle. Pad locks with not designed to have physical stress in this position so it is likely that the mechanic inside will jam and you will need a bolt cutter to open the lock!

If you buy locks in order to close lockable bondage gear make sure to buy keyed alike locks! Nothing is more stressful when you need to urgently open a lock and can’t find the key. You can get keyed alike locks at every hardware or lock store. When I suggested getting keyed alike locks to some reader questions people were concerned if that would disclose them as perverts. I can assure you this won’t be the case. Asking for keyed alike locks is quite common for example for equipment lockers in gyms.

A Paw Rigging Plate

A Paw Rigging Plate

Rigging Plates & Stainless Steel Rings

Rigging plates is another piece of professional climbing equipment used to organize and attach different ropes together. They are plates made out of aluminum and sometimes out of stainless steel with holes for ropes. The most common form is the paw with a big hole and three to six smaller ones on top. But tor really elaborate designes you can get rigging plates with more than 20 holes. I use them for organizing my carabiners for suspension bondage so I just need to pull up the plate. A more profane usage scenario is attaching carabiners for a hogtie.

There are large stainless steel rings sometimes with a cross or a triscele in the middle out there called rope rings which fulfill the same purpose though with less organization. If you just want to create a hogtie or don’t want to suspend someone from the ring a stainless steel cockring also does the trick.

Zip Ties

An easy and disposable item for connecting bondage equipment are zip ties. They are plastic bands with a lock on one end and texture on the other end. Pull the textured end through the lock and the connection can’t be opened again. If you get professional ones you can get a breaking load up to 80kg per zip tie. So it only takes three or four to create a strong connection, but please bear in mind that the combined strength is lower than the individual strength added up.

There are versions out there that can be opened up and reused. They are not strong enough for bondage purposes. The same applies to Velcro cable ties!

A Hoist for one or two Ropes

A Hoist for one or two Ropes


Not really connection hardware but since I don’t know where to put it else and I store mine along with my carabiners I will shortly talk about hoists here. Hoists are barrels mounted into a case with an eyelet on top. They are certified for being able to bear different amounts of maximum weight. Hoists are useful for suspension bondage: You can create the bondage while the sub lies securely on the floor and later pull him up. There are different types of hoists with up to six barrels. I made the experience than more than three barrels are not practical because the rope will tangle.

So much about gear and hardware to tie people up. Next week will be all about accessories that can be useful to make a bondage scene successful and as little messy as possible.

Bondage Hardware Special Part 2 – Rope Substitutes

This is the second part of the Bondage Hardware Special. While in the first part I talked about Rope in this text will be about all the different means you can use to fetter someone if you don’t want to deal with rope.

Tension Belts

Originally these belts were designed to secure cargo but are as equally good for securing human beings. They consist of a nylon strap which is attached to a lock through which you pull the strap in order to shorten and tighten it. Sometimes at the part of the belt where the lock is attached there is a loop through which you can attach a carabineer. You can get tension belts for fairly little money however I do not recommend getting the cheapest ones. Most of the time with cheap ones the end of the nylon strap is not welded so it starts to fray. Also more expensive ones are certified for a specific weight. When fettering a sub or using for suspension bondage I would not recommend for going anything lower than 200kg certified. While you can use tension belts on bare skin I would not recommend it. The edges of the nylon straps are sharp and the strap itself can create rope burn if the sub moves too quickly too long under them.

Bungee Cords

Another cargo securing device that can be used for bondage. They are made out of two hooks connected by a flexible cord covered in nylon fabric. Because they were designed not to secure heavy cargo you will need several bungee cords to achieve the same sense of bondage as you would with a single tension belt. However in this property lies the beauty of bungee cords. Even one single cord with produce down force that can be easily overpowered. But if you attached several ones the sub can struggle against the in his mind weak cords, maybe lift himself a bit but will ultimately fail. Theoretically you can use bungee cords for suspension bondage but I would not advise it. It is too hard to figure out how many you need in order to securely hang someone from the ceiling. Another thing to keep in mind is that the flexible cord over time will stretch and age so you have to check and replace the cords on a regular basis.

A Pair of Police Velcro Restraints

A Pair of Police Velcro Restraints

Velcro Straps

When I talk about Velcro straps I do not mean the cable binders you can buy for next to nothing at the office store but industrial grade Velcro straps that are at least 3cm wide; narrower ones cut too easily into the body. Velcro is again a great mindfuck material: It is regarded as easily to open but once you attach a long enough part of the hard side to the soft side it is impossible for a bound person to break free. You can quickly and easy secure a person quite well with Velcro straps especially when you use Velcro restraints made for the authorities. They come with a loop which makes tightening the straps easy. Doing so will require some practice because the two sides of the straps will quickly attach to each other leaving you with a twine you need to untangle first before.

Please only put the soft side onto the body (if you don’t want that extra sensation agonizing) because the hard side can create painful abrasions. Even the wider ones I would not advise to use for suspension.

The Mr S Hobble Belt

The Mr S Hobble Belt


The probably most widely available secure mean of bondage in the household. It can be made out of a variety of materials so in order to test if it is made for bondage check if the edges are hard and can harm the skin. Than close the belt, hang it onto a secure anchor point and hand yourself onto it. It is doesn’t break and the claps doesn’t deform, you can use it for bondage. Otherwise you need a new belt. There are belts out there which holes all around the belt which is handy. Other belts come with added bondage features like this one from Mister B that turns into four restraints, this one from Mr S with four D-rings or their Hobble Belt which is a restraint.


Chains come in a number of varieties. The only ones I would recommend for bondage are twisted link and rolo, either in torus or in circle, patterns. Both patterns are smooth enough to be used on bare skin and offer enough space in the links to attach rope, carabineers or additional chains. Today most chains are welded instead of forged so there is a weldseam on every link. Sometimes these seams can be have sharp edges so before you use chain on bare skin check the links for such spots.

A Runner Holding a Chain in Place

A Runner Holding a Chain in Place


Originally made for climbing these are nylon straps which are very securely sowed at the ends to create a loop. You can’t adjust the length of them. I mostly use them to create anchor points using a cow hitch. They are also good for suspension bondage if you want a similar length at all attachments points.

Shoe Laces

Another item that can be found in any household but I would only recommend softer and wider shoe laces like fat laces for bondage. Any other can cut circulation and are thus dangerous. Also: Most shoe laces are not designed to withstand too much force so I would not recommend using them for any bondage where much resistance is anticipated but they are great for genital bondage.

Tape & Saran Wrap

When you watch movies tape seems to be the bondage material of choice for thugs these days. And to a certain extend you can use tape for bondage however I would not advise it. First of all getting the tape of when there is body hair under it can be quite painful. It also takes some practice to wrap it right: Too tight and it will cut circulation, too loose and you can easily get out. Also, most glues used on tape, like the iconic duct tape, is water-soluble. So it the sub sweats too much or if you attempt to do a tape gag which is often seen in movies you are at a loss.

These problems do not occur with saran wrap. However you need several layers to make it strong enough to withstand some struggle. If you want to use these means for bondage I would recommend doing a saran wrap base layer and add tape to that. When choosing the saran wrap be careful what you buy. There is wrap that shrinks which requires special surveillance of the sub when you use it, especially for mummification!

In the next part of this series called “Connection Hardware” I will talk about the nifty little things which connect different bondage means without knots.