Vendor: Mr Hankey’s Toys
It is surprising with toys from Mr Hankey’s: As soon as I post about the new toys on Twitter, I immediately get messages about the color combination! So let’s get this out of the way first: The Lampwick Uncut has a black core with lime green highlights. Since the black shines through the thin layer of line, you get this awesome cooper rust color. The Cyclops has the colors reversed with a lime green core and black highlights. Finally, the Beowolf has a yellow core and red highlights. These colors are an extra for $29.95. The look so bright because Mr Hankey only uses platinum silicone for their toys, a material that takes on color easily and which does not fade over time.
Beside being perfect for (multi)colored toys, platinum silicone is 100% body safe, highly resistant towards acid and heat and with the super-smooth surface leave little possibilities for bacteria to linger and are easy to clean. I usually put my toys in hot water with dish soap and sanitize them afterwards for good measure. This is a quick and easy way to get the toys clean and sterile again between partners at a play party. But you can also throw them in the dishwasher or autoclave them. In order to keep the surface in this condition, never use silicone based or hybrid lube with silicone toys because they will disintegrate the surface. Water and oil based lube are safe to be used with silicone toys.
The toys from Mr Hankey’s Toys come in two firmness degrees. The firmer is called “Medium” which is about the firmness of a fully hard penis. If you enjoy texture like me, this is the one to pick, especially on veiny dildos like the Lampwick. The softer variety is called “75%”. 75% is popular with longer toys because they bend more easily around the bends in your colon. However, the softer the toy, the easier they collapse and the harder they are to ride. In the end it comes down to personal taste if you prefer your toys to force your sphincter open or to pop through. Mr Hankey’s offer custom firmnesses for $15.95 but I have never tried that. I would only recommend this if you have a large collection of anal toys already and can imagine how a toy will feel in a certain firmness! Because the larger the toy, the firmer it will feel! So be careful not to over- or in rare cases undershoot.
An add on I always recommend is the Vac-U-Lock hole for just $4.95. Originally designed to attach the toy to fuck machines, there are a number of nifty accessories out there for this kind of system: Handles, Strap-On harnesses, suction cups and double-dildo connectors. Because of this I highly recommend adding this inexpensive feature to your toy. There are just too many useful scenarios along the way to go cheap on this one.
The first dildo of this trio I am going to look it is the Lampwick Uncut. As the name already hints, it is a realistic dildo. It starts out with a dullish, foreskin covered glans. The foreskin forms a little crinkled seam on top of the glans, so I guess Mr. Lampwick has a little phimosis. Since the foreskin smoothes everything out, the drop around the glans rim is a bit softer than on the original model. The shaft features a few thick veins and a significant ventral groove before ending in two massive, realistic balls. But following the smoother-than-the-original theme, the shaft is less textured than the Lampwick.
Cyclops’ name is also a bit telling because the toy starts out with a sphere that could be identified as an eyeball. Especially when looking at the pupil like molding in the top. Below the sphere is a long shaft textued with bulges which again has a vein texture on top. The base like on other fantasy depth toys is a thick and sturdy disc.
The Beowolf is a complex toy. The point glans has a big, bulgey glans rim. The shaft is lightly textured with a small patch of shallow ridges on top and a few veins and a massive ventral groove on the bottom. The lower half of the shaft is a four-bulge knot before the dildo ends in a anthropomorphic base.
|Toy Name||Size||Diameter Glans||Diameter Shaft/ Knot||Insertable Length|
Playing with the Lampwick Uncut, Cyclops & Beowulf
The Lampwick Uncut for some time was the most requested anal toy review because the original Lampwick is such a popular dildo! This was due to the combination of heavily texture shaft, deep glans drop and very attractive sizing for both beginners and anal sluts. The Lampwick Uncut is a different yet related game. First of all: It is bigger! The Uncut’s smallest size is almost as big as the original’s Medium. This means it also goes deeper. A whopping 6cm deeper than the longest original! This growth is compensated with a bit “tamer” features. The glans despite being dullish tapers more to it opens up the sphincter more easily. There is not bit, abrupt glans rim drop but a smoothish transition to the shaft. The shaft still has a few veins and a massive ventral groove but not as prominent as the original. So all in all, it is the easier toy to ride and twist inside the hole. It will still stimulate the anus and the prostate a bit but not nearly as much as the Original. This makes the Lampwick Uncut a good intermediate’s training toy. Even the smallest version is still big and long! But it’s smoother curves help opening up the first and second sphincter. Since the Lampwick Uncut has fewer deep texture, it is actually a toy I would recommend in getting in 75% firmness if you want to train your depth.
Cyclops on the other hand I would always recommend in Medium. Mine is Medium and it can barely stand up. But the ripples which texture its shaft makes it bendy, allowing to reach all the spots deep inside the colon. In 75% it would be very limb and hard to ride!
Unlike the Lampwick Uncut it is not a toy for untrained fistees, especially when you want to go deep! The sphere on top is not made for gradually opening up the second hole! Especially not with the texture of the pupil. Even when your second sphincter is trained and pre-stretch, the pop of the eyeball is intense and made some of my testees shriek – out of surprise and ecstasy. But once inside the Cyclops quietly makes his way deep into your colon while the ripples and veins of the shaft massage both holes. This is pure bliss! The thick base makes Cyclops very rideable so you can enjoy the sphincter massage on your own. But it is best enjoyed relaxing in a sling, completely focusing on the texture making your sphincters open up and close again. If you can take a lot, advice your top to twist and turn the toy for the veins to laterally stimulate you and make you scream in all the best ways.
Again, last but not least, the Beowulf is a special case. It is a surprisingly good training toy that can grow with you, especially in medium and large size. The pointy glans is good for opening up the anus and the prominent glans rim can with a bit of training stimulate both anus and prostate. The upper half of the shaft gradually bulges so is kind of good for width training (though never as good as a dedicated plug).
Once you reach the knot, you have come to a pivotal point. Knotting this toy takes depth experience! I highly recommend pre-stretching depth with a dedicated toy! Because the pointy, bulgy glans penetrating the second sphincter is an intense experience on its own. But then there is the knotting of the bulgy knot! Yes, a testee who was very experienced with width, used the Beowulf to train depth. But that is a very singular experience. If you want to go deep, you better be prepared for a mind-blowing experience. Since the glans is already so rugged and the knot has four bulges, the Beowulf’s intensity can be increased when turned inside the hole. But that is most definitively not for the faint of heart or inexperienced when an intense stimulation can lead to a tensing up!
But in the end, all things considered, the Beowulf is one of my favorite toys for knotting while going deep!
Where to buy?
Mr Hankey sells their toys directly through their website. This is the best way to get them when you want to customize them even further. They also run promotions on a regular basis (if you register for their newsletter they have an individual birthday promotion for example) so check their page regular to snatch a bargain. Depending on the size and features, the Lampwick Uncut starts at $134.95, the Cyclops at $129.95 and the Beowulf at $119.95. Custom colors costs $29.95, custom firmness $15.95.