On December 1st 1981 AIDS become an official illness. Since then the medical research, safer sex education and awareness for STDs has made great progress. However, still every year people get infected and still people are dying. Not only in poor countries like in Africa or Asia but as well in the so called developed western world.
When talking to people about HIV and STDs before and after my speeches on BDSM I often hear that safer sex isn’t a big issue in the pervert scene because “traditional” sex and thus traditional ways of infection are not as common as in the vanilla scene. This might be true to a certain extend but never the less: STDs and especially AIDS is something that effect everybody, especially gay people and especially the ones living a promiscuous life style. So I would like to honor the world AIDS day by not only asking you to think of the people living with this still incurable disease and remember all the dear friends and idols who have died in the last three decades but also give some advice on safer BDSM sex. This article’s intention is not to make you frightened but to raise awareness for the problem and show you that it is not so difficult to care for yourself and your sex partners.
1. Get tested!
This might sound trivial but it is the most important thing to do. Know your STD status! Get tested on a regular basis, at least once every half year. A test once in a blue moon to calm your conscious doesn’t do any good for anybody.
We are so anxious that our gear is in good shape that we sometimes forget this is not the only thing which can harm someone we at least care about to meet once. Knowing that you won’t harm your bottom when you deep throat him or let him lick the spit from your boots is not only a good feeling but shows that you are a caring master. And as a sub it should be natural that you keep your body in good shape and let your master know about any illnesses right away.
Also, getting a positive test result on any STD isn’t the end of the world and fun. Most STDs can be cured pretty quickly. And if you should get tested positive for the HI virus, it will be hard, but it is not a death sentence anymore. It is you only chance to survive!
2. Get informed and think about the risk you want to take
A doctor of mine told me once: All safer sex is ridiculous if it keeps you from having joyful sex. So get informed about ways of infection, think about what you like to do/ have done to you and where possible infections risks are. Than think about what risks you are willing to take and how to minimize the risks so you have a satisfying sex live without regrets.
3. Keep your toys cleaned!
This also should go without saying but it is worth to remind everyone that uncleaned toys can transfer STDs. Especially after harder sessions with bloody nipples, blood encrusted single tails or everything which enters the body like saliva dripping gags, dildos or dilatators it is vital to clean the toys thoroughly.
4. Be aware of infection risks when exchanging body fluids
Besides traditional vanilla sex like fucking and sucking all sorts of humiliation games involving rimming and consuming of body fluids cause a risk of getting STDs. So here is a short but not complete list of body fluids and some STDs they might carry.
Piss: Gonnorrhea, Chlamydia and Hepatitis B
Saliva and Snot: Usually no problem, but can transfer current illnesses like a flu or cold. If you have an acute infection in your mouth from Syphilis, Gonnorrhea or Chlamydia you can infect someone you give or blowjob or kiss very intensly.
Shit: Hepatitis A and Gonnorrhea or Chlamydia if you have an infection in your gut.
5. Play Rough! Play dirty! Play safe!
There is no better way to keep your body and your mind healthy than having a good sex life. When you have no oppressed desires you will not engage in risks you would not take normally when you have the chance to live them out. So despite all the fear and insecurity STDs might produce, enjoy life. It is Saturday! Go out and have some fun – as safe as you need and want it.