SquarePeg Leo 2X Long & King

Form: Realistic Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: Graphite, Bronze & Chestnut
Firmness: Soft
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Regulation

Sometimes, I get VERY specific review demands from certain countries. Since summer of 2021 UK kinksters were VERY interested in BIG and LONG realistic dildos. And since my motto is “Perverting the world one kinkster at a time” I gladly follow this yearning and review the Leo King and 2X Long for you greedy, tea sipping ass pigs.

Construction

Obviously Leo is a realistic dildo. It is a lifecast from a guy who was introduced to Scott, the founder of SquarePeg through mutual friends in 2016. Lucky for us since Leo is a very horny member in every dildo collection.

The SquarePeg Leo 2X, 2X Long and King

Being cast off US citizens, Leo is sadly cut. He starts out with dullish glans with a prominent glans rim bulge. The top third of the dick is slightly curved back with the remaining shaft being straight, only slightly increasing in diameter towards the end. The shaft is covered with a smooth yet noticeable ventral groove and some small veins. Especially on the King these features are very prominent and can be felt despite the softness and overall evenness of the shaft which makes the toy good to run. On the 2X Long, you can really see Scott’s artistic heritage being a wood sculptor: While all other sizes are proportional scaling of the original cast, on the long he interprets and extrapolates how a longer Leo would most likely look like. The changes are subtle but when you like me have the 2X and the 2X Long you can spot the difference and see how well & thoughtful they are designed.

While the Leo also is available with realistic balls, this version only comes in the original, 1X and 2X size which are tiny compared the two reviewed today. The King and 2X Long are only available the Harness version which has a round, flat base for using them with a strap-on harness. Since both are Harness dildos they can be outfitted with the SquarePegHole for attaching the dildo to all compatible Vac-U-Lock adaptors, for example on fuck machines, suction cups or to connect two dildos.

Leo’s Dullish Glans

Like all SquarePeg toys, Leo is made out of platinum silicone, which means body safe and hypoallergenic platinum is used to cure the silicone. Besides platinum making the toy body safe, it makes the toy easy to handle. After having played, you can basically throw everything at the dildo to get it clean: From hot water with dish soap to bleach, the dishwasher or even autoclave them. This makes the toys ideal for sex parties because they can be quickly and easily be cleaned and sterilized between partners.

Since Leo is made out of soft silicone, store him upright or laying down without pressure to avoid creases. Never store the dildo with other materials together because the plasticizers can damage the silicone for good!

Speaking of damaging your toys: Despite what the founder of SquarePeg says, I would not recommend silicone lube with silicone toys. There is a chance the silicone oil in the lube will destroy silicone toys. I recommend only using water- or oil-based lube with silicone toys, especially because they are easier to clean off.

Size Head Diameter Diameter at Base Length SquarePegHole FlushCup
XS 32mm 37mm 140mm
S 41mm 47mm 191mm X
Actual/ Life Size 49mm 57mm 229mm X X
1X 57mm 61mm 260mm X X
1X Long 57mm 61mm 330mm X
2X 61mm 67mm 286mm X X
2X Long 65mm 69mm 362mm X
3X 73mm 77mm 292mm X
King 77mm 81mm 330mm X

Leo King’s MASSIVE Ventral Groove

Playing with the big Leos

Back in 2019 I have already reviewed the Leo 2X which I loved a lot. Spoiler: I still love it in Long or as King. But my thoughts on playing with them slightly change due to the toys being longer and thicker.

The obvious thing first: While the 2X was still somewhat for the intermediate player, both the 2X Long and the King are for experienced players who are very well versed in depth play! Even with the King, even when you have a deep rectum, both toys will penetrate your second hole when you are about 2/3 (King) or half way (2X Long) down the shaft.

For this penetration you should have done some prestretching with a more tapered toy, like SquarePeg’s Sigmund. Leo’s glans which is almost a half dome does not gently, slowly open up the second sphincter but push it open a bit like a ram. But half-dome only covers 2/3 of the shaft diameter and it’s bottom lines up precisely with the bottom of the shaft. The remaining 1/3 is an almost vertical slope that ends in a bulge before finally arriving at the smooth shaft.

The Extrapolated Texture of the Leo 2X Long

This sounds dramatic but it is rather intense. When you sphincters are experienced, this combination of different sensations which a half-dome, a slope and the bulge create is very stimulating. Especially when the 2X Long goes deep into the colon, the feeling of this “rugged” yet smooth combination is an intense, new sensation. For example, when the dildo goes around a kink, the bulge massages the sensitive mucosa intensely. When you reach a barrier in your colon, you usually retract the toy and push forward in a twisting motion. But since Leo’s glans is so asymmetrical this does not always work. It can actually be counterproductive since the stimulation can cause the colon to tense up. But when you are relaxed and you deeply trust the top commanding the dildo, it can be very horny experience.

Twisting motion is also the key word for the King. With his MASSIVE ventral groove twisting him inside a loose hole, is a blissful experience. It triggers the pressure sensitive nerves inside the anus, stimulates the prostate and massages the also sensitive rectum walls. But in order to enjoy the Leo King thoroughly you need a trained, open hole. His shaft has the same diameter as a large Acorn from SquarePeg, just for comparison.  Having this dildo locked deep inside your rectum and colon gives you an incredible feeling of stretch and fullness. Feeling the stretched puffy anus lips move over the slightly textured shaft surface is pure bliss for greedy ass pigs.

The SquarePeg Hole which is compatilble with Vac-U-Lock adapters

Being such on the extremer end of the size spectrum, I need to say a few words about handling. Especially when going deep, I recommend to kneel down and ride the toys on your own. This way you can best control the speed and force of the toy entering you and your colon is most relaxed. This works well for the King size but the 2X Long due to its length and soft material is quite floppy. This is a challenge all depth toys face yet due to unique shape of the tip the Leo does not slide in as quickly and easily as tapered tipped toys. So you have to struggle a bit more.

Usually when you can get a Vac-u-Lock hole, I highly recommend you get it! It is so practical, and if it is just for a top to put his thumb into it to guide the toy. But with these large Leos, I am a bit torn. When riding the toys on your own, the hole in the middle of the shaft cause the lower section to become instable and bend away. To prevent this, stick a Vac-u-Lock adaptor into it – or become REALLY loose and open.

Where to buy?

When you order from Europe, you can get the Leo at Regulation for between £79.33 and £259.99 – depending on how greedy you are. Size and colors not in stock can be easily ordered by e-mail.

Jammer 2 & Kevin

Toy Properties

Form: Stretch Toys
Material: Platinum Silicone
Colors: Graphite, Bronze & Black
Firmness: Soft & Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: SquarePeg

Construction

The basic shape the Rim Jammer designed for the toy named after his is quite simple jet ingenious: Four elongated spheres with almost slightly elliptical intersection stacked a top of each other. They have the dimensions of 50x54mm – 54x56mm – 63x66mm – 81x83mm.

The SquarePeg Kevin & Jammer-2

The lowest sphere is slightly compressed with a very subtle ridge-like rim which has faint notions of Acorn’s prostate-milking bulge. This effect is even more enhanced with the slightly tapering neck above the base so you can really bounce on this ridge. If you really want to feel the full effect, I recommend what a friend of mine has done who recreated Acorn’s bulge using SquarePeg’s Putty which apparently they do not sell anymore.

Kevin can be best described as a stylized version of a realistic dildo. He starts out with a flat glans and a implied piss slit. According the drop around the glans he is probably uncut. The thick shaft is smooth except a very thin ventral groove. Unlike other “realistic” dildos the scrotum does not form the base but is made to slip inside the rectum for a massive stretch and filling. Because of this there is a neck below the balls which flows into a wide and sturdy base.

Detail of Kevin’s Glans

The basis for this review was the “standard” size Kevin. Friends of mine have the Little Kevin and the Big Kevin. All three toys are about the same except my Kevin. Both the Little’s and Big’s balls arch forward and then the shaft goes up relatively straight. On the medium size Kevin it arches slightly backwards. Sadly my friends did not want to part with their toys for a comparison shot so best refer to SquarePeg’s website. The arch forward helps a bit going deep because it arches towards your second hole.

SquarePeg only makes toys out of US made platinum silicone. This means the toys’ surface is super smooth which makes it hard for bacteria to linger and easy to clean. All toys are 100% body-safe and hypo-allergenic. These advantages come with a small disadvantage: You must not use silicone toys with silicone lube because in the long term it will destroy the toy. SquarePeg claims on their website that their toys are safe to use with quality silicone lube but I would err at the side of caution and only use it with water- or oil-based lubes. Colorwise you are limited to SquarePeg’s signature Bronze or Graphite in truly SuperSoft firmness or Black if you – like me – prefer firm toys. If you really want to stretch for purpose and are more in for the fucking sensation, I recommend going for the firm version. If you want a gentle massage, feeling full and feel the toy “wiggle” around inside your intestine choose SuperSoft (especially for the Jammer 2!).

A Dent inside Kevin’s SuperSoft Material

Word of advice when you get the get a SuperSoft toy: The material is delicate and easily takes on folds and little dents. This does not really impact how you can use or play with your toys. But if you are a perfectionist, this might annoy you! Taking pictures for this review, I noticed this little dent on my Kevin. So please keep in mind that the SuperSoft toys require a bit more careful handling than other.

Playing with the Jammer 2 & Kevin

Firth things first: Both toys, even if you choose “Little” Kevin are not for absolute beginners. Due to the flattish tips they require a relatively pre-stretched anus in order to go in. Once in, even in SuperSoft they require an intermediate trained anus to unfold their magic.

Jammer-2’s First almost Perfectly Round Sphere

The Jammer 2 is a stimulation machine: The almost perfectly round intersection of the spheres stretch the anus intensely and evenly. It’s like anal beads you can ride. But in order to enjoy this chain of soft stretching, popping and closing again, you have to be fairly loose and open. If you want it harder, go for the Jammer 2 in firm black. That is also my recommendation when you want to lie in the sling and have a toy fuck you with it. If you are not REALLY open and relaxed, a SuperSoft Jammer 2 will rather bend than go in.

This is also true if you want to use it as a stretching toy. In theory riding on the slopes, slowly opening up the sphincter to stretch the muscle towards a goal works very well. Practically you have to easily swallow the first two spheres in order for the toy not to bend away. Or go for the firm version. This dichotomy leads to several friends having two Jammer 2: one for training, one for stimulation.

The Stimulating Spheres of the Jammer-2

Kevin’s Glans Drop and Ventral Groove

Kevin on the other hand is a completely different game. He is far from subtle, almost brutish when his different parts go in. The glans is even duller than Jammer 2’s tip so even more pre-stretch is required. The glans and shaft have very little texture so the main sensation is feeling something thick move inside your sphincter.

Of course, letting the glans with its bulgey drop pop in and out stimulates the anus a bit. With a bit of practice, it can massage the prostate. Furthermore, the ventral groove – or shall I rather say ridge since it is so thin – can scratch the prostate when turned inside the rectum. Especially when your Kevin is firm. But that is how far the stimulation features for.

A Dent inside Kevin’s SuperSoft Material

The main sensation of Kevin is feeling his massive, thick and big balls bust through your hole! Their top is flattish so it requires a maximum opening of your sphincter to let these balls through. Accommodating them inside your rectum is an intense sensation! If you have a standard or even big Kevin, the sliding through the anus coincides with the dull glans forcing its way deeper into your colon. This combination of intense stretch sensations blew my mind the first time and too my breath away. Over time, you know what to expect yet you never really get used to it. Keeping the toy for extended periods of time inside your rectum takes a lot of getting used to because there is SO much material stuffed inside you!

SquarePeg does not offer canine inspired toys but if you are looking for a knotted toy from the, get the Kevin! Comparing it to other K9 inspired ass toys, the knotting intensity (and combination with doing deep!) is en par with the Bad Dragon Rex and Austin or Weredog Gage.

Jammer2’s sturdy base and Neck Below the Big Bottom Ball

Of the two toys, sadly only Kevin has a secure stand. Yet once you put the first sphere of Jammer-2 into you, also he stand firm enough for solo play. Especially when going deep (which depending on your rectum will not happen with Little Kevin, most likely when you take Jammer 2 completely and most definitively with Big Kevin) exploring the toy on your own while slowing riding it downwards kneeling above it will be best. This way you prevent too intense pressure or worse sudden popping through your second sphincter which can make you tense up and ruin the depth session.

 Where to buy?

Like the Razorback these hot hunks a very particular toys, not many retails sell which is a pity! So best you go to SquarePeg’s website where you can get the Jammer 2 for $159 and the Kevins in Little ($99), Standard ($189) and Big ($229). Shopping through SquarePegToys directly you have the advantage of their Shop@Home program where you can look at their toys in your home and then decide if you want to keep them.

Bad Dragon K9 Toys

Toy Properties

Form: Fantasy Toy
Material: Platinum Silicone
Colors: Many
Firmness: Soft to medium Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Bad Dragon

Every since I started reviewing Bad Dragon toys, I have been asked “What’s the best dog dick?” “How does the knot of X compare to Y?” “What is the closest model to the real deal?” So to finally answer the question, here it is: The ultimate Canine(ish) Look&Feel Like-the-Read-Deal Bad Dragon Dildo review!

Construction

Back in 2008 when Bad Dragon was founded they were one of the first major companies using only platinum silicone for their toys. Besides the excellent material properties (easy to clean, 100% body safe), they probably chose this material for technical reasons: The material comes in a wide range of firmness from which Bad Dragon chose soft (Shore A2), medium (Shore A5) and firm (Shore A8 which is still relatively soft) and takes on colors very easily. That is the reason for Bad Dragon’s many beautiful and elaborate patterns. Some are standard, some are available exclusively for a specific toy or limited time.

The Bad Dragon Kippy, Roland, Razor, Cole, Austin and Rex

Comparing Cole’s and Razor’s Knot

Bad Dragon used to make every toy according to custom orders. This led to production times up to half year. So two years back they switched their order system: On a more or less regular basis they now have drops of already made toys. Sadly XL toys are rare in these drops and I know what you ass pigs are after. Once in a blue moon Bad Dragon opens custom orders for a limited number of orders. Then you can order your dream configuration. A lot of guys complain to me that this system sucks. I actually find it a lot better than the old one since they only take as many orders as they can process in a foreseeable time so you do not have to wait forever to get your new fantasy dong. Also, I do not know when the next drop/ custom order date is! Best you follow them on Twitter; they announce drops and custom orders there.

 

Besides firmness and color, you can order many of Bad Dragon’s toys with at least one of these options: First, the suction cup. If it is possible, add it to your toy! It is just a nifty feature which makes riding the toy so much easier; especially attached to smooth tiles like in the shower. The cum tube is a controversial topic. None of my Bad Dragons have a cum tube. With friends’ toys I was able to try the effect of shooting cum lube up my ass. It did not feel so intense but added a fuckton of effort to the cleaning. However, after every Bad Dragon review I post I am getting inundated with messages from people who swear by the cum tube! It adds so much of immersion to their toy that they would never buy a toy without it. If you have never tried a Bad Dragon with a cum tube and consider it, I highly recommend buying one of their Lil’Squirte to test the effect before buying an equipped big toy.

The Scution Cup in Austin’s Base

Since this review is on knotted toys, let me briefly talk about a feature Bad Dragon does not offer: Inflatable knots. Yes, the sensation is closer to a real knot swelling and locking. But since on dildos they are inflated with air, they can bust and damage your intestinal! That is the reason why Bad Dragon along with Oxballs or SquarePeg does not offer this feature because the risk of serious injury it too high.

Choosing the right size for your Bad Dragon can be a bit tricky: Due to the real size tool on their website you get a good impression how big the toy will actually be. However, the firmer the silicone and the more texture it has, the harder it will be to take! And since the toy is made out of platinum silicone it must not be used with silicone lube! Otherwise the silicone oil inside the lube with disintegrate the supersmooth silicone surface.

While we are on the topic, a word how to care for your new silicone sculptures: Do not store them together with toys made out of other materials. The plasticizers leaving the material can damage your silicone toys for good. Especially when they are made out of soft silicone, store them upright. Otherwise they get dents and creases.

Playing with Canine Dildos

What all these toys have in common is a so called knot, a cavernous body at the bottom of a dog’s dick which swells when he is close to cumming. This way he connects (terminus technicus “ties”) to his bitch and they stay connected. The general appeal of this feature is a strong, intense stretch of the anus, locking the toy into the rectum and putting pressure on the prostate.

The Barrel-Shaped Shaft and MASSIVE Knot of Rex

The knotting (the thick bulges pressing through the sphincter) is more intense than pressing a sphere of the same through the anus. The knot is formed out of two half-spheres laterally attached to the shaft so it is perpendicular to the opening of the sphincter. Because of this, it takes more relaxation to get it out again, aka it is “locked” inside the ass. The position of the knot means, the stimulation has a “direction” which makes turning and tugging interesting while the dildo is tied into the ass. With a bit of practice you can target the prostate, make the feeling of fullness and massiveness travel along the sensitive walls of the rectum.

The final challenge of almost all knots is the position: They sit just above the dildo’s base. Since dildos scale proportionally, the bigger the knot, the longer the shaft. So to truly enjoy BIG knots, you have to be able to take anal toys DEEP. So if you really want to have a Mastiff-sized knot raping you, you should prestretch your second sphincter well!

Since most reader questions go along the lines of “What is the most intense knot?” I have sorted the toys from most to least intense.

Rex

In the entire Bad Dragon toy range, Rex is the dildo coming closest to a real dog dick. It starts out with a meatus sticking out of the dull glans. There is a bit of buldgey drop around the glans before the barrel-shape shaft starts. This shaft is very lightly textured with veins you almost do not fell. Below the shaft sits a MASSIVE knot with two big cavernous bodies on the side and a smaller one on top. Between the knot and the shaft sits a thin neck.

Rex‘ Realistic Glans

Being the most realistic dildo of the bunch, Rex is the hardest to take. Glans does little to gently open up the first let alone the second sphincter. It busts the muscle open and through the bulge rim pops in. The shaft through his barrel shape does stretch gently. But due to the shape which tapers towards the knot, the knotting is insane! Rex has the highest shaft-diameter-right-above-knot-to-knot-diameter ratio. The knot is dullish and thus does little to seduce the anus to open up gently. The knot is also flattish in the bottom. In combination with the relatively thin neck, Rex really locks in place. So getting him out once the sphincter has tightened up a bit and closed around the shaft can be an intense experience to say it mildly.

The thin neck is actually Rex’ biggest weakness because it cannot support the heavy shaft and knot. So riding can be a challenge. Just popping the knot in and out works if you are loose. But letting the entire shaft slide in and out is difficult. Especially if you chose the soft firmness.

Austin

According to Bad Dragon’s website Austin is a fox. There is not much literature let alone pics of bio fox dicks (yes, I know about the many fox furries in murr suits flashing their knob) so I cannot say how anatomically correct this dildo is. Overall I would call him the gentler brother of Rex without him being tame!

Austin’s Glans, Textured Shaft and Big Knot

The glans is still dullish but domed to open up the sphincter. Instead of a glans drop the tip flows directly into the shaft. However below it is a cluster of soft bulges. They are fun to ride and tease the anus and potentially the prostate. Austin has a ventral groove but it is nestled between a fold so even when turning the toy you can hardly feel it.

The shaft tapers slightly towards the knot but also the knot tapers towards its maximum, massive diameter. Don’t get me wrong, the stretch will still breathtakingly strong when the toy enters for the first time. It also is a bit rounder on the bottom so it goes out more easily but far from easy. The shaft is thicker for a better support and the base is a bit bigger than on Rex. So Austin can be ridden more easily.

Being a little bit more rounded, I personally prefer Austin over Rex. Rex is intense everywhere and always hard to take! There is kind of a simulation overflow when on my Rex XL the dull glans wants to forced itself through my second sphincter while the big knot rapes my anus open. It takes a special headspace to enjoy that! For immersion reasons I can see why people choose Rex. But if you “just” want to experience intense sphincter busting knotting, I recommend Austin.

Cole and Razor

I write about these toys together because Razor is basically a meaner version of Cole. Both have a glans inspired by a canine one. Though at the top there is just a top, not a meatus sticking out. The head is a flattish pyramid but not a dull dog glans.

Razor’s Glans on the Left next to Cole’s

The shaft is barrel-shaped and very subtly textured. Especially Razor is gently stretching open the sphincter to prepare it for the knot. Also Razor’s shaft arches slightly for easier entry, especially when going deep. Cole’s knot is for lack of better words a bit edgy, making the knotting more intense. But also the knot perfect for stimulating the prostate through twisting and turning. Since the knot depth (way from top to bottom of knot), Cole is my recommendation when you want to feel intense knotting but cannot handle depth well. Razor’s cavernous bodies are nicely rounded and flow a bit into the beck. The neck diameter is thick enough to support the body well even when riding the toy hard.

The bases are surprisingly small – and support the toy surprisingly well. Especially Cole’s small yet powerful suction cup surprised me (Razor cannot be equipped with one). Due to the small base, these toys are perfect for fucking a bottom keeling in doggy in front of you.

Roland’s Textured Body and Knot

Roland

Now things start to get a bit weird. According to Bad Dragon’s website, Roland is half coyote and thus a canine, half a rattlesnake. So he is a Ralleyote. Having a knot (and several reader requests for a review), I am taking a look at him.

Roland’s glans loosely looks like Cole’s as a point canine inspired one. But the sides are textured with edgy ridges. The barrel shaft is textured with subtle wave. Above the knot a thick bulge goes around the shaft like a medial ring on a horse dick. The knot is bulge but has the lowest knot-to-shaft ratio. While being dullish in the top it tapes towards the short neck. This means, the knotting inside it considerable but it goes out more easily. The huge base compared to the diameter makes him very rideable.

Kippy’s Glans…

There is a lot going on on Roland, making him a feast for people who appreciate subtle texture. His size leans toward the smaller side of the spectrum making him a perfect toy if you want to start out with texture und knot play. Unless you choose…

Kippy

Another weird toy for a canine special and actually an anomaly in my review requests.  Kippy is a mixture of a canine and feline dick – and a one-size toy. 80% of my anal toy reader questions are about BIGGER, DEEPER, HARDER. And on a first glance Kippy is neither.

He starts out with a point glans that has a huge bulge on the bottom – like a feline dick has. The shaft is textured with point bumps which on a real cat dick would be fluke-like. The shaft is relatively short and the knot is one spherical knot. It tapers quite gently and evenly for a nice yet fellable stretch. The short neck is again textured with a few bumps and bulges. The base could be a bit larger to offer better stand for such a textured and knotted toy.

… and textured Body and Knot

All things considered Kippy is a great ambitious beginner toy. It opens the anus up gently, the bulge stimulates the anus and the prostate, the bumps are a great intro into texture and the knot –shaft-ration is great.

As a texture junkie, I would like to love Kippy – if he was bigger! There are so few feline toys out there that I see a real market change for an XL with a knot diameter of maybe 88mm or so. The bumps should scale a bit larger and especially higher so you can really feel them and voila! A nice new toy for texture hungry ass pigs!

Roland’s Pointy and Textured Glans

Missing a knotted Bad Dragon toy? Over the years I have reviewed many other knoted Bad Dragon Dildos like Vergil, David and Apollo or Nova and Terra. So check out my other Bad Dragon reviews. Pro tip: Since the intro about what makes to toys special is bascially all identically, you can skip right to the juicy part where I talk about the toys, beginning about in the middle of the review.

Where to buy?

Lasts year Bad Dragon introduced VERY limited brick & mortar retail in a hand full of shop in the USA and Europe. But their selection of models is limited and only available in one firmness and color. So your best chance of getting your dream Bad Dragon dildo is through their website. While some people curse their limited custom orders, I actually find monitoring the inventory section fun because it inspired me to consider colors I would never have chosen on my own.

 

 

 

 

Asmodeus, Bael & Orobas

Toy Properties

Form: Fantasy Toy
Material: Platinum Silicone
Colors: Black & Red Marble
Firmness: Soft & some Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Twisted Beast

When Twisted Beast launched their Twitter page in September of 2020 they the ass pig world was wide open for their extravagant dildo design – partly due to their really good poppers. Their product design was on par with their marketing and storytelling. So I was quickly inundated with messages asking if their toys were any good. Doing thorough tests, it took a while – as usual. But here is my take on their three original designs now – while my mailbox continues to gather questions regarding their new knotted toy Marchosias.

The Twisted Beast Asmodeus, Bael & Osmodeus

Construction

Let’s start with their probably most sought after toy: Asmodeus, a toy for rolling in the depth of your colon! It starts out with a small, conically glove glans which is textured with a hinted urethra and a protruding corpus spongiosum like on a canine dick. This glans is the tip of a steeply tapering conical body with elliptical intersection which aspect ratio is 13:18. The body is heavily textured costal arch like bulges wrapping around it as a core. Their joining points on the top and the bottom form a band of pointy bumps. Laterally between the arches are small rips and grooves which texture the otherwise smooth core surface. The final pair of arches forms a plug like end. Its neck it embossed with Twisted Beast’s pentagram logo.  Towards the bottom the neck just slightly curves outward. This means, there is no real base and the bottom diameter is considerably smaller than the maximum stretch of the plug section.

Bael’s Tapered Glans with the Big Bulges

Beal starts out with a human-like glans which evenly opens up the sphincter. But below there is a considerable, steep drop around the rim. Beal’s shaft is even more textured than Asmodeus. The top of it a pair of thick and long, boil-like bumps support an even thicker yet narrower vertical ridge. While the sides are only textured with small and shallow veins the bottom starts out with a pair of boil-like bumps atop of a massive ventral groove. The base is two massive, realistic balls. The Twisted Beast signal is embossed on the other side on the bottom of the shaft.

Orobas is almost the anti-thesis to the previous two toys. While their glans was designed for easy penetration, his glans is not! In a discussion with an equine toy savvy testee I called Orobas’ tip “quarted-flared” and he agreed. A flattish half-dome with a meatus separating it into two halves is surrounded by a cluster of big, dullish bulges. Due to this the sphincter need to be a bit looser to welcome Orobas compared to an anatomically correct unexcited horse glans. But he is way easier to take than a big, brutish flared glans and is actually a good intermediate toy before taking a fully flared Friesian dildo. Unlike his predecessors Orobas’ shaft is relatively smooth. Only a loose cluster of thick yet smooth veins give it some edge. 2/3 down from the glans a median ring like on most horse dildos raises slightly out of the shaft. You can take Orobas even deeper before the shaft flares out forming a wide base. On that slope the pentagonal logo is embossed.

Orobas Flattish Glans with its Bulges Rim

Like most modern anal toys all Twisted Beast demon dicks are made out of platinum silicone. This means they are 100% body safe and should only be used with water- or oil-based lubed. The silicone oil in silicone or hybrid lubes can disintegrate the toy. Twisted Beast used to make their toys also in black but now you have one color option: Their signature streaky marble of bright red and tar black, aptly called “Inferno”. I like this color a lot! It gives of a brooding, sexy vide and resonates very well with the shape of the dildos! What I do not like is that they now only offer their toys in their signature firmness Shore 00-30 which is really soft to the point where it becomes a usability problem. (they used to offer toys in Shore 00-50 or A10). I promised my testees not to ramble on about the trend of only offering soft silicone so I leave it with the notice that like all soft silicone the toys attract dust very easily.

The Twisted Beast Vac-U-Lock hole has an opening diameter of 25mm and two lugs inside to lock the adapter in place. The adapter sits somewhat securely and can be pulled off with ease but compared to other manufacturer I always had the fear the toy would fall off. Compared to the massive suction force the 17mm diameter of a Mr Hankey’s Toys or SquarePeg (though their hole is not round but square) generate, a Twisted Beast on a Vac-U-Lock tool feels flimsy. Some of my testees have fuck machines and put Orobas and Bael on them. They assured me that the grip was sufficient enough for penetrating an open hole. But two testees managed to grip Bael’s glans with their anus and pull it off the rod. Furthermore most fuck machine owners were unsure how well the largest sizes, being considerably heavier would stick to the adaptor.

The Vac-u-Lock inside Asmodeus‘ Elliptical Base

Before we come to the size table, here is something to keep in mind when reading the number: My testees and I unanimously agree that all Twisted Beast toys feel smaller than they are. Don’t get me wrong, they are far from small and the sizes on the website are accurate when comparing to measurements of the physical toys. But as an experienced ass pig when you read a size number, it you have a certain experience/ expectations how the toy will fill you and if you can take it. Based on this experience I chose the sizes (in consultation with some of my testees). When the toys arrived, they looked good, they felt big in our hands – and we were all surprised how easily our holes swallowed them. This is probably due to Twisted Beast making some of the softest toys in the market (Topped Toys uses Shore 00-33 and to my knowledge only ElyX Toys goes softer with Shore 00-20)

So when choosing your size, be sensible of course! Don’t buy something absurdly larger than you can currently take. But when you are between two sizes, get the larger one! Because, don’t but the toys for the hole you have, buy the toys for the hole you want.

Due to Asmodeus elliptical body I am using circumference instead of diameter for the body measurement.

Toy Size Overall Length Insertable Length Diameter Head Circumference Above Base
Asmodeus S 381mm 330mm 27mm 183mm
M 495mm 445mm 36mm 241mm
L 635mm 584mm 40mm 304mm
Bael S 177cm 165mm 40mm 167mm
M 228cm 203mm 58mm 221mm
L 274mm 254mm 69mm 264mm
XL 330mm 292mm 76mm 312mm
Orobas S 203mm 165mm 36mm 257mm
M 284mm 254mm 60mm 228mm
L 342mm 292mm 69mm 279mm
XL 444mm 381mm 85mm 355mm

Beal’s Textured Shaft Bottom and Big Balls

Playing with the Asmodeus, Bael & Orobas

I am going to look at these three toys in ascending perceived experience level needed to enjoy them based on my testees’ verdict. Which makes Bael first of the list.

With his human-like pointy glans he is the best toy to open up even a tighter sphincter. The massive glans drop might be a challenge for the uninitiated but due to the softness of the silicone getting the toy out was not even a problem for a guy new to anal play. The edge the glans forms it actually the first highlight of the toy. With a bit of practice it is perfect for stimulating the prostate. And if you get looser the plopping in and especially out of the sphincter is a joy of its own.

You can ride Bael vigorously but a lot of his fascination is lost then. For this he would need to be firmer (the now abandoned Shore 00-50 or even better A10 would be necessary); in the soft silicone riding him quickly turns him into a soft blur. Bael is best enjoyed riding slowly, feeling the bumps and ridges stretch certain areas of the sphincter while others can relax. The apexes of them are carefully arranged so at least each cluster can be felt individually.

The Medial Ring on Orobas‘ Shaft and the Big Base for a Sturdy Stand

Since the texture is not only arranged vertically but also horizontally, Bael shows an entire new facet in the hands of a top! Twisting it either stationary or while moving in and out unleashed completely new sensation. For example place the prostate between the ventral groove and the bump on top of the shaft and start slowly a pendular motion. The alternation of pressure made some testees leak (pre)cum.

There was a lot of discussion which toy should come second but we eventually agreed on Orobas. Since we “only” had the large to test some testees including me could take him into the rectum without much prestretch. But for the more novice, I recommend pre-stretching your hole with a more tapered toy – unless you want to experience the natural, brutish entry of an equine dick. What most definitively needs to be pre-stretched is your second sphincter! Orobas is designed to go deep but its flat glans does not go deep easily. And don’t worry; pre-stretching won’t lose you any of the experiences. The bulge around the glans might look small but it popping through your second sphincter or massaging the kinks of your colon it is very noticeable.

Twisting the toy might only be necessary to get around said kinks. Most of the time stimulation is focused on the tip so the veins are hardly felt if not focusing on them – again due to the softness of the material. Same accounts for the medial ring which most of the time just pops through the anus. It is a good depth indicator when riding the toy slowly.

Asmodeus‘ Glans

Speaking of riding, despite Orobas’ glans being in the middle between an unflared and a flared horse glans, this dildo is actually a good toy to start out when you are interested in riding equine inspired toys. The wide base in combination with the shaft standing up straight makes it the best solo rideable horse dildo I have come across yet. To do so, kneel down, maybe prop Orobas up with a yoga block and insert him into your anus. In this position your colon is most relaxed and thus prepared to take a dildo deep. Also, in this position you can most easily control the speed and force it nudges forward.

This position is also best to enjoy Asmodeus when you are doing solo play. Lying down on your back, crunching to shove the toys inside you will make your core way too tense and hinder the toy to go deep. However, the non-existing base in combination with the thin neck which is basically hallow due to the Vac-u-Lock hole causes a major stability issue! The only way to ride Asmodeus without the “base” breaking away is to insert a Vac-u-Lock adaptor into the base. I recommend a suction cup adaptor for this. I recommend this adaptor also for another reason: It widens the base. One testee of me way so caught up in the bliss of riding Asmodeus all the way inside, that he swallowed him whole! Luckily, everything that goes in will come out again. But this shock moment is something that can be avoided.

The Ridges Texturing Asmodeus Shaft

Once you had secured the base, Asmodeus is a great toy – if you prestretched your second sphincter. His glans is small and nimble but will also easily bend easily. So your second sphincter must not tense when Asmodeus wants to penetrate this sensitive body area. Once inside your colon, feeling Asmodeus sliding deeper inside you is pure bliss! The ridges on the body are wide enough apart to be felt individually yet narrow enough together for a smooth motion inside you. The ridges are also kind of predetermined bending points. So this toy will find its way even around the many bends in your colon.

Especially with the Large size you will go DEEP. But the overall shapes and edges are smooth and rounded enough that in combination with the soft material, injuries are almost impossible. Reaching this depth is helped by the very elliptical shape of the toy. If you are at a tight spot and cannot go further, retreating a bit and slowly pushing forward in a twisting motion will widen the passage. While this is a great way to go deeper, always listen carefully to your body. If with a gentle push you cannot go deeper or an uncomfortable feeling becomes pain, stop immediately! Your colon is a delicate body area which can be easily injured! Rather try another day if you run into a tight end so you can enjoy Asmodeus for many scenes to come.

The Small Neck and „Base“ of Asmodeus compared to his Big Plug Section

All things considered, the three Twisted Beast toys I have reviewed here are each very different but united in how cleverly their shafts have been designed – probably with greedy holes in mind. For my personal taste, it would be great if they were available a bit firmer (especially looking at Marchosias I prefer a firm knot to pop through the sphincter instead of a soft one sliding through).  But if you are like many people currently and love soft toys, all three are highly recommended – good enjoyed alone, best relaxed with a top who will unleash their full demonic magic upon your hole, rectum and colon.

 Where to buy?

Twisted Beast sells their toys only through their web shop. Asmodeus starts at £89.95 for the small and ends at £179.95 for the large. The price range of Bael is from £59.95 to £179.95 and you can get Orobas for between £49.95 and £219.95.

Razorback

Toy Properties

Form: Fantasy Toy
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: Graphite &Bronze
Firmness: Soft
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

The SquarePeg Razorback

Vendor: SquarePeg

The name SquarePeg is associated with tools to get your hole read for a fist, literal Depth Probes, geometric masterpieces or maybe even realistic dildos. But the term “Fantasy Toy” is usually not one of them. However back in 2008, before Villainous Wyrms kick started the fantasy toy craze, SquarePeg introduced the Razorback, a toy sadly often overlooked. So buckle up, because way are going on an intense ride!

Construction

Razorback’s tip is like an oval cross recess of four ridges. On the top and on the bottom these are thin, yet to the bottom widening bands of ridges which end about 65mm above the bottom. On their way down the individual ridges get longer and display a display a nifty design feature: They are slightly offset, meaning the edge of the top ridge is positioned above the slope middle of the bottom one. So when you ride the toy slowly the sensation alters between the two ridge bands. To increase this sensation, the Razorback bends slightly forwards.

Lateral there are three ridges: One kinked flowing into the tip forming almost a glans, one one third and another two thirds down the shaft. The lower two are rising quite steeply out of the smooth flanks.

On the way downwards the diameter of the Razorback gets bigger and changes shape. The bottom is a square with 100mm edge length. This geometric form makes the Razorback very gripable especially when a top is operating the toy and twists it inside your hole. If you are playing on your own, the wide base makes for an excellent and secure stand even when bouncing on the toy hard.

Detail of the Ridges

SquarePeg only makes toys out of US made platinum silicone. This means the toys’ surface is super smooth which makes it hard for bacteria to linger and easy to clean. All toys are 100% body-safe and hypo-allergenic. These advantages come with a small disadvantage: You must not use silicone toys with silicone lube because in the long term it will destroy the toy. SquarePeg claims on their website that their toys are safe to use with quality silicone lube but I would err at the side of caution and only use it with water- or oil-based lubes. Colorwise you are limited to SquarePeg’s signature Bronze or Graphite since this toy is only offered in supersoft firmness.

Playing with the Razorback

The glans of the Razorback gently opens up even tighter sphincter. At about 60x47mm at the first ridge edge in combination with the supersoft silicone it is a toy even an advance beginner can enjoy.  As you ride the toy deeper into your rectum, you experience the pure genius of the ridge design: Steep enough to stretch, yet soft enough to gently plop through the sphincter. If you ridge a section of two or three ridges up and down, you really feel how alternately they stimulate the prostate and tease the tailbone (which some testees actually found uncomfortable). One caste testee who’s specialized in prostate orgasms called the Razorback “a gentle yet rapid fire Organotoy Saw”.

The „Glans“ where the four Ridge Lines Intersect

Even for going into the colon, the toy has been purposefully designed. The ridges work as predetermined bending point. So when there is a kink to get around, the body will adjust making going deep somewhat easy. If they colon does not tense up due to the intense message of all ridges.

The lateral ridges are something only really experienced players can enjoy. The sudden increase in diameter gives a GOOD stretch in the sphincter and once you have gotten to know the toy well some orientation how deep you have taken the toy already. However such increase suddenly knocking at or worse busting through the transition of rectum to colon can be a painful experience. So especially when going to, progress with caution the first few times.

Since the body’s intersection is oval, the orientation how you insert it, changes the sensations drastically. If you insert it in line with the sphincter it gently opens you up and stimulates the prostate like written above. If you insert it perpendicularly, it “forces” open your hole open. The ridges scratch the sides of the sphincter and the lateral ridges almost knock over the prostate. It is a very strange and “dull” experience, lacking the finesse the Razorback usually has. But if you are into this kind of play, give it a try! If you want to go deep, make sure the arch of the Razorback is in line towards your colon. Otherwise it is almost impossible to go this way. What I do recommend however is for the top to twist it while moving in and out.  The added stretch and  surprising position of the ridges are a very horny experience.

The Massive Base for a Firm Stand and Intense Maxiumu Stretch

All things considered, the Razorback is a typical SquarePeg toy. Each “sensation point” has been designed and placed so cleverly, only a sculptor and ass play aficionado could do. Conversely, the Razorback is a toy of nuances to be experienced and appreciated. Of course you can ride is vigorously and have hot and horny time. But my testees and I agree, it is best enjoyed not lying in the sling but in doggy position when the colon is most relaxed. This way you can focus on each ridge popping, the diameter slowly stretching and scream out of ecstasy when the top twists the toys deeply lodged inside you.

 Where to buy?

Being a very particular toy, not many retails sell the Razorback which is a pity! It has become one of my favorite toys for depth play with experienced kinkster! It sells for $239 on SquarePeg’s website. On there you have the advantage of their Shop@Home program where you can look at their toys in your home and then decide if you want to keep them.

GeometriX

Form: Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone
Colors: Whatever you can imagine
Firmness: From Soft  to Very Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in warm water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

The Organotoy Large GeometriX

Vendor: Organotoy

Construction

The name of the GeometriX originates in its most striking design feature: While almost all other anal toys have round, flowing lines, the GeometriX is a combination of geometrically segmented flat surfaces and edges. This design idea is superimposed on a human dildo and you get this unique toy. It starts out with a massive pointy glans. After significant glans drip leads to slightly tapering shaft which is “textured” by lateral ridges and a “ventral” groove. The bottom and base are two big testicles which guarantee a secure stand.

The Balls and „Ventral“ Groove of the GeometriX

When shipping anal toys internationally, their custom declaration is often “Silicone sculpture”. This is more than true for the GeometriX which is a real design object. The toy gives me a distinct pop-art vibe. Because of this I chose the glow in the dark blue and magenta marble – complementary colors to really make it pop! But being made by Organotoy you can get every color and pattern you want up to even highest quality custom airbrush designs.

Firmness-wise the range of customization options is also very wide. It starts at very soft and squishy Shore 00-30 and ends at almost metal-like Shore A30. Since GeometriX is a bit head-heavy every firmness softer than A5 is too soft for the toy to stand up.

A final customization option is adding a vac-u-lock hole to the base for 10€. This way you can attach the GeometriX to a fuck machine or make it more nimble with a vac-u-lock handle. Though due to the handy balls, this is not necessary. Simply put your thumb into the vac-u-lock hole, grab the balls with the rest of your fingers and you can comfortably and vigorously fuck the bottom lying in the sling in front of you.

GeometriX Jagged Glans

Playing with GeometriX

I often say that a toy is not for beginners because the texture makes it hard to smoothly slide through the sphincter and gradually open it up. This applies for the GeometriX very much. Despite the “pointy” glans the flat surfaces and ridges can easily jam in skin folds. So to easily take this toy, you really have to be loose.

On the other hand, the GeometriX is a toy so subtle play. It does not really feature texture like deep ridges, grooves or bumps. You need to focus a bit to feel the many edges stimulating the nerve endings by twisting and turning. Since except the glans all texture runs lateral it needs this movement to unleash the full potential.  With a bit of training you can target the prostate with the deep and steep glans drop but for males it not a good solo toy. It needs someone sitting in front of you to plow your hole with it.

If you have this person, the GeometriX is an interesting, unique toy. The subtle stimulation will makes the anus tense up and thus increase the friction, causing more tenseness and thus again higher stimulation levels. Add to that a glans that not easily goes in and out and you have a devious toy for mid to end scene hole torment. This is not toy like the GeometriX on the market and its stimulation is really unique. Even well lubed, the turning feels like a stutter inside your anus. It is like nothing I have felt before. You really have to engage with it but if you are a texture junkie who likes rougher play and are open for something new and never felt before, give GeometriX a chance!

GeometriX Bottom with Vac-U-Lock Hole

So much for the anus and especially prostate owners. Like all my toys I have given the GeometriX so a couple of front hole owners – and they were thrilled! Yes, again it needs practice to take this toy. But due to the location of the access point they could easily fuck themselves with GeometriX while twisting and turning it. Deep thrusts lead to “cervix stimulation never felt before, somewhere between ‘Please, stop NOW!’ and ‘Please, never stop!’” by the jagged glans. My front hole play experience is very limited to a few sessions with FtM friends so I take my testees’ word that if you vagina, front hole, bussy or whatever you like to call your non-penile sex organ, GeometriX is also for this orifice a uniquely stimulating toy.

Where to buy?

Like all Organotoy products the GeometriX is sold exclusively at their website. Other the high degree of customization would not be possible. The price start at for a simple single color Small one at 35.96€ and the Large starts at 86.96€. Naturally depending on your color, firmness and accessory

Mordax

Form: Anthro Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone
Colors: Red & Charcoal Marble and Blue
Firmness: Soft
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

The Topped Toys Mordax

Vendor: Regulation/ Mr S

Construction

Mordax starts out with a dullish realistic glans that peaks out from a foreskin-like cover.  The shaft is textured with scale-like bulges that come together in a clapboard-like cluster in the back. The bulges drops are quite steeply and range from 2.5mm depth at the top up to 7mm in the middle. Two big realistic balls form the base which gives the toy a secure stand even when riding it hard. Speaking of fucking, at the bottom there is a 10mm hole with threading for attaching Mordax to a fuck machine. The small diameter allows to attach even the small 13mm threaded attachment system some companies use yet the silicone is soft enough for pushing a standard 22mm Vac-u-Lock adapter inside – with some force. The same force is needed to pull the toy off again which cased the silicone around the hole to tear a bit. I have use the adapter only a few times so I have no idea how the situation in the long run. If it should get worse, I will tweet about it.

As all toys from Topped Toys, the Mordax is made out of Shore 00-34 firm platinum silicone. This material is 100% body safe, hypo allergenic toy with a super-smooth surface for easy cleaning and insertion. Slight drawback is that silicone lube must not be used with silicone toys because the silicone oil in it will destroy the material in the long run. You can choose between two colors: Blue or for a little premium a nice marble of red & charcoal that even has a little, very subtle glitter in it.

Size Diameter Head Diameter Above Base Insertable Length
90 53mm 74mm 254mm
105 56mm 84mm 280mm
115 68mm 93mm 305mm

Mordax‘ Deep Scales

Playing with the Mordax

Topped Toys started out making toys for people who want to train their hole and quickly became popular with beginners. So I often get messages of the Mordax or Erebus is a toy to start out with getting into texture. To be frank, the Mordax is definitively not for beginners! The dullish glans requires a loose hole to slip in. If you can barely take the glans, the rest of the toy will not be much fun because even with much lube the scales will feel painful. My rule of thumb is, if you can comfortably take a Gape Keeper one size larger than the Mordax you chose, you will enjoy this toy.

The densely packed, deep, thick yet soft scales are perfect to stimulate the many nerve endings inside the anus. The texture is so dense that there is now low intensity which gets more and more intense the quicker it goes in and out. Since the material is very bendy and soft, there is not much prostate stimulation, especially on the 90, until you reach the bottom of the shaft. To get so far down Mordax has to go deep. Due to the soft material and the scales, it is very bendy so it will find its way inside your rectum. But: The dull glans need to open up the second sphincter. Once inside your colon, the scales start to stimulate this very sensitive body area – hard!

Mordax‘ dullish glans

Because of this, I recommend getting to know Mordax on your own, learn about alls his kinks and prepare yourself for the intense surprises it has in store. This way you do not surprisingly tense up when it hits a sensitive spot. But once you have reached this point, laying relaxed in the sling and getting vigorously fucked but Mordax is pure bliss!

Where to buy?

Both Mr S and Regulation sell the Mordax only in 105 and 115 for prices between $144.95 to £239 depending on the size and color.

Long Long Neck & Sigmund

Toy Properties

Form: Depth Toys
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: Graphite &Bronze, Sigmund also in Black
Firmness: Soft & Sigmund also in Firm
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: SquarePeg

When I tweeted about the arrival of new SquarePeg toys in September, the most messages I have gotten were about the Long Long Neck! So naturally I start with the depth toys in the review order 😉

The SquarePeg Long Long Neck & Sigmund

 

 

 

 

Construction

The Long Long Neck – like his name twin – starts out with a almost hand with all fingers-pushed together-like head. This tip is 130mm long and being oval measure 58x62mm in the largest dimensions. The head than smoothly tapers to the oval body which over a whopping 480mm increases from 42x48mm to a rectangular 76x76mm! This means the overall insertable length is 610mm! At the bottom is a thin base which at 96x96mm is not much bigger than the maximum dimension.

Sigmund’s Few yet Thick Veins

The Sigmund is what I would call “a functional” dildo.  It starts out with a stylized anatomic correct glans which measures 52x58mm. On top of the glans the steepish drop is 7mm while at the bottom the glans smoothly flows into the body.  The body below the glans measures 48x58mm. It is textured with very few yet high veins! Over the course of 230mm the body becomes round with a diameter of 61mm so the insertable length is 300mm. Sigmund has a wide base for a secure stand.

SquarePeg only makes toys out of US made platinum silicone. This means the toys’ surface is super smooth which makes it hard for bacteria to linger and easy to clean. All toys are 100% body-safe and hypo-allergenic. These advantages come with a small disadvantage: You must not use silicone toys with silicone lube because in the long term it will destroy the toy. SquarePeg claims on their website that their toys are safe to use with quality silicone lube but I would err at the side of caution and only use it with water- or oil-based lubes.

Long Long Neck’s Head

Colorwise both toys are available in Bronze and Graphite, SquarePeg’s shades for their famous SuperSoft silicone. The Sigmund is also available in Black which stands for “firm” in the SquarePeg world.

Playing with the Long Long Neck & Sigmund

At a first glance, the Long Long Neck looks a bit intimidating and hard to handle. But frankly, I was surprised how well the Long Long Neck handles in the playroom. This is due to the head which sits on a dildo-thick body. So unlike the Slink the Long Long Neck will not flop around if gripped properly and the tip does not bend when being pushed against a something resisting (this will become important later!).

Speaking o the Slink: The Long Long Neck is for DEEP Play. It dwarfs the Slink XL which I have and is almost neck on neck with the Slink XXL! But the Long Long Neck is the better toy when you want to play deep. The Slink has the problem that the often tip bends when it reaches a tight spot and thus blocks the way. The almost hand-link head doesn’t do this but can “force” its way and even out kinks ahead of it. Of course this requires more careful play! When you cannot go further or feel pain, stop! Since both the head and the body are oval and thus have an orientation, pulling back a bit and pushing further with slow, controlled twists can sometimes even out the path. Bur your colon is a very delicate area so play with this toy extra carefully! This also accounts for when pulling it out. While the Slink only gets smaller the further you pull it out, with the Long Long Neck there is always the thicker head coming. So especially when you have irritated the colon to much, it’s tensing up and you are in deep, remember that the head needs to pass potentially now tighter intestinal loop.

Left a Slink XL, right the Long Long Neck

There are two challenges with Long Long Neck’s length. First, the human colon is about a 1.5m long. So in theory it should not reach the small intestine. But every human is different and if you bring bacteria from the colon to the small intestine! So be extra careful when going really deep and if you feel a pain like you had when you trained your second sphincter to open up, stop immediately! Second, despite having written that is it easier to handle than a Slink, it is still a very long toy! When playing deep alone, I usually squat down because in this position your colon is most relaxed and you can best control the speed and somewhat the way the toy goes in. At 610mm this is not possible. So I pop in the head in doggy position and squat further and further as it slides in deeper. This makes the toys harder to control but is the only feasible way I have found.

While the Long Long Neck is a toy for really experience depth player, the Sigmund is for people who want to get started going deeper. The biggest challenge with depth play is that the sphincter which marks the transition between the rectum and colon is very sensitive. Unlike the anus it is not desensitized through external physical stimulation. Everything pressing more or less forcefully against it causes it to tense up and is very painful. Because of this a toy to train this area is needed. Most dildos have a too dull glans and/ or are not bendy enough to reach the Sigmoid (that is where Sigmund’s name comes from). What you want it a point glans on a flexible shaft, both of this has Sigmund.

Sigmund’s Glans

The glans’ tip is small and nimble so it can anchor itself in the second sphincter. Once this is done, carefully proceed and stretch it softly. Like the Long Long Neck both its’ glans and shaft have a direction. So if you cannot go deeper, pulling back and twisting a bit can help to press on. Twisting will also stimulate your anus. It has less veins than the Leo or less texture than the Mel but the few, very high veins are enough for a horny stimulation. Even more so if you get it in firm. But this option I would only recommend for already depth-experienced players who already have pushed past their second sphincter. In firm, the body does not bend much and instead of gently opening up the Sigmund it will rape it open. This is too much for this delicate body area!

As I have written the Sigmoid needs to be desensitized before you can enjoy depth play. Sadly this means, the training will not go without some discomfort during the process. This is why I recommend depth training alone. Alone you are in command how much depth and force you apply and which discomfort still feels good without being a sign of an imminent injury! There is sadly no guideline how much pain is still acceptable. Especially when starting out, be careful and take it slowly. Get to know this new region of your body through the toy and do not rush it. When for the first time Sigmund’s glans pops through the second sphincter and it closes behind it, it will almost feel like your first fist and you will want it out. This is a normal reaction. But once you have reached this mile stone, in the next session you can carefully go a bit deeper.

Long Long Neck’s Base

Before I have gotten Sigmund, I always recommended the Thick Worm for starting depth training. While an insertable length of 350mm means you can go deeper it is also a bit harder to control and with the smaller head the desensitizing especially for bigger toys less effective. And since you do not want to go too deep when starting out, I would not actually recommend the Sigmund over the Thick Worm when starting out. Even though the Thick Worm remains my favorite depth toy.

 Where to buy?

Both toys can be directly purchased at SquarePeg’s website. This gives you the advantage of their Shop@Home program where you can look at their toys in your home and then decide if you want to keep them. The Sigmund costs $149, the Long Long Neck $299.

Lampwick Uncut, Cyclops & Beowulf

Toy Properties

Form: Dildo
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors:
Natural Tan, Deep Brown and Black
Custom colors possible
Firmness: Soft to Medium, custom degrees possible
Lube: Water, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize it thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damage.

Vendor: Mr Hankey’s Toys

Construction

It is surprising with toys from Mr Hankey’s: As soon as I post about the new toys on Twitter, I immediately get messages about the color combination! So let’s get this out of the way first: The Lampwick Uncut has a black core with lime green highlights. Since the black shines through the thin layer of line, you get this awesome cooper rust color. The Cyclops has the colors reversed with a lime green core and black highlights. Finally, the Beowolf has a yellow core and red highlights. These colors are an extra for $29.95. The look so bright because Mr Hankey only uses platinum silicone for their toys, a material that takes on color easily and which does not fade over time.

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Beowulf, Cyclops & Lampwick Uncut

Beside being perfect for (multi)colored toys, platinum silicone is 100% body safe, highly resistant towards acid and heat and with the super-smooth surface leave little possibilities for bacteria to linger and are easy to clean. I usually put my toys in hot water with dish soap and sanitize them afterwards for good measure. This is a quick and easy way to get the toys clean and sterile again between partners at a play party. But you can also throw them in the dishwasher or autoclave them. In order to keep the surface in this condition, never use silicone based or hybrid lube with silicone toys because they will disintegrate the surface. Water and oil based lube are safe to be used with silicone toys.

The Glans of the Lampwick Uncut

The toys from Mr Hankey’s Toys come in two firmness degrees. The firmer is called “Medium” which is about the firmness of a fully hard penis. If you enjoy texture like me, this is the one to pick, especially on veiny dildos like the Lampwick. The softer variety is called “75%”. 75% is popular with longer toys because they bend more easily around the bends in your colon. However, the softer the toy, the easier they collapse and the harder they are to ride. In the end it comes down to personal taste if you prefer your toys to force your sphincter open or to pop through. Mr Hankey’s offer custom firmnesses for $15.95 but I have never tried that. I would only recommend this if you have a large collection of anal toys already and can imagine how a toy will feel in a certain firmness! Because the larger the toy, the firmer it will feel! So be careful not to over- or in rare cases undershoot.

The Vac-U-Lock Hole on the Beowulf

An add on I always recommend is the Vac-U-Lock hole for just $4.95. Originally designed to attach the toy to fuck machines, there are a number of nifty accessories out there for this kind of system: Handles, Strap-On harnesses, suction cups and double-dildo connectors. Because of this I highly recommend adding this inexpensive feature to your toy. There are just too many useful scenarios along the way to go cheap on this one.

The first dildo of this trio I am going to look it is the Lampwick Uncut. As the name already hints, it is a realistic dildo. It starts out with a dullish, foreskin covered glans. The foreskin forms a little crinkled seam on top of the glans, so I guess Mr. Lampwick has a little phimosis. Since the foreskin smoothes everything out, the drop around the glans rim is a bit softer than on the original model. The shaft features a few thick veins and a significant ventral groove before ending in two massive, realistic balls. But following the smoother-than-the-original theme, the shaft is less textured than the Lampwick.

Cyclop’s Ripled Body

Cyclops’ name is also a bit telling because the toy starts out with a sphere that could be identified as an eyeball. Especially when looking at the pupil like molding in the top. Below the sphere is a long shaft textued with bulges which again has a vein texture on top. The base like on other fantasy depth toys is a thick and sturdy disc.

The Beowolf is a complex toy. The point glans has a big, bulgey glans rim. The shaft is lightly textured with a small patch of shallow ridges on top and a few veins and a massive ventral groove on the bottom. The lower half of the shaft is a four-bulge knot before the dildo ends in a anthropomorphic base.

Toy Name Size Diameter Glans Diameter Shaft/ Knot Insertable Length
Lampwick Uncut Small/Medium 51mm 54mm 229mm
Large 63mm 67mm 280mm
XXL 77mm 80mm 330mm
XXXXL 90mm 93mm 386mm
Cyclops One Size 65mm 57mm 318mm
Beowulf Small 34mm 65mm 229mm
Medium 40mm 73mm 260mm
Large 44mm 85mm 292mm
XL 53mm 97mm 330mm

Lampwick’s Big Balls as its Base

Playing with the Lampwick Uncut, Cyclops & Beowulf

The Lampwick Uncut for some time was the most requested anal toy review because the original Lampwick is such a popular dildo! This was due to the combination of heavily texture shaft, deep glans drop and very attractive sizing for both beginners and anal sluts. The Lampwick Uncut is a different yet related game. First of all: It is bigger! The Uncut’s smallest size is almost as big as the original’s Medium. This means it also goes deeper. A whopping 6cm deeper than the longest original! This growth is compensated with a bit “tamer” features. The glans despite being dullish tapers more to it opens up the sphincter more easily. There is not bit, abrupt glans rim drop but a smoothish transition to the shaft. The shaft still has a few veins and a massive ventral groove but not as prominent as the original. So all in all, it is the easier toy to ride and twist inside the hole. It will still stimulate the anus and the prostate a bit but not nearly as much as the Original. This makes the Lampwick Uncut a good intermediate’s training toy. Even the smallest version is still big and long! But it’s smoother curves help opening up the first and second sphincter. Since the Lampwick Uncut has fewer deep texture, it is actually a toy I would recommend in getting in 75% firmness if you want to train your depth.

Cyclops on the other hand I would always recommend in Medium. Mine is Medium and it can barely stand up. But the ripples which texture its shaft makes it bendy, allowing to reach all the spots deep inside the colon. In 75% it would be very limb and hard to ride!

Cyclop’s Tip

Unlike the Lampwick Uncut it is not a toy for untrained fistees, especially when you want to go deep! The sphere on top is not made for gradually opening up the second hole! Especially not with the texture of the pupil. Even when your second sphincter is trained and pre-stretch, the pop of the eyeball is intense and made some of my testees shriek – out of surprise and ecstasy. But once inside the Cyclops quietly makes his way deep into your colon while the ripples and veins of the shaft massage both holes. This is pure bliss! The thick base makes Cyclops very rideable so you can enjoy the sphincter massage on your own. But it is best enjoyed relaxing in a sling, completely focusing on the texture making your sphincters open up and close again. If you can take a lot, advice your top to twist and turn the toy for the veins to laterally stimulate you and make you scream in all the best ways.

Beowulf’s Glans

Again, last but not least, the Beowulf is a special case. It is a surprisingly good training toy that can grow with you, especially in medium and large size. The pointy glans is good for opening up the anus and the prominent glans rim can with a bit of training stimulate both anus and prostate. The upper half of the shaft gradually bulges so is kind of good for width training (though never as good as a dedicated plug).

Beowulf’s Knot

Once you reach the knot, you have come to a pivotal point. Knotting this toy takes depth experience! I highly recommend pre-stretching depth with a dedicated toy! Because the pointy, bulgy glans penetrating the second sphincter is an intense experience on its own. But then there is the knotting of the bulgy knot! Yes, a testee who was very experienced with width, used the Beowulf to train depth. But that is a very singular experience. If you want to go deep, you better be prepared for a mind-blowing experience. Since the glans is already so rugged and the knot has four bulges, the Beowulf’s intensity can be increased when turned inside the hole. But that is most definitively not for the faint of heart or inexperienced when an intense stimulation can lead to a tensing up!

But in the end, all things considered, the Beowulf is one of my favorite toys for knotting while going deep!

Lampwick’s Uncut Slightly Textyured Body

Where to buy?

Mr Hankey sells their toys directly through their website. This is the best way to get them when you want to customize them even further. They also run promotions on a regular basis (if you register for their newsletter they have an individual birthday promotion for example) so check their page regular to snatch a bargain. Depending on the size and features, the Lampwick Uncut starts at $134.95, the Cyclops at $129.95 and the Beowulf at $119.95. Custom colors costs $29.95, custom firmness $15.95.

Rutt & Skylar

Toy Properties

Form: Anthro Dildo
Material: Silicone
Colors: 24 colors
Firmness: Soft to Medium
Lube: Water and Oil based. Silicone or hybrid lube can destroy the toy!
Cleaning: Soaking in boiling water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Expose to boiling water to kill germs
Storage:
Store standing up in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damaging the toys.

Vendor: Weredog

Weredog’s Rutt & Skylar

In last year’s anal toy special I already reviewed Weredog’s Gage and liked it a lot. But the toys I am getting the most reader questions about are actually the Rutt followed by the Skylar. So let’s take a look at these toys.

Construction

To put it short, Rutt is a stylized version of a canine dick. Typical for this kind of dong, the glans is dullish with a little tip at the bottom. The shaft above the knot bulges a bit. The knot itself has three bulges instead the two a realistic one would have. Below the knot there is a short shaft before a hinted pocket and two balls form the base.

Skylar’s Softly Tapering Glans

The Skylar is quite different. His glans is softly tapering and features a shallow glans rim just like a human glans. The long shaft is concave but the top’s curvature is lower than the bottom’s. This way the shaft bulges in the middle. The bottom is textured with six scale-like ridges while the lower half of the top features increasingly deeper bumps. The body sits on a big light textured base.

All of Weredogs toys are made out of high quality platinum silicone meaning they are easy to clean and hypo-allergenic. It comes on 24 colors, 22 standard ones and two Glow in the Dark shades (green and blue) which adds 10% to the base price. Under daylight they look off-white but once it gets dark they have the brightest and longest glow of all Glow in the Dark toys I have seen so far! For 10€ you can add a second color either as a marble (as my two toys are), swirl and split base. Weredog also offers a Surprise Me option for 19.48€ but only do that if you are very adventurous! I have tried that option several times with several manufacturers and was unimpressed. If you invest such a large sum of money into your dream anal toy, at least make it right the way you want it.

Rutt & Skylar Glowing in the Dark

Firmness-wise Weredog is on the softer side of the spectrum. Their soft is Shore 00-37, the medium Shore 00-41 and the firm Shore 00-45. The Shore 00 scale and the Shore A-scale which for example Bad Dragon uses are hard to compare but the Bad Dragon medium firmness is about as firm as Weredog’s firm. While Weredog like all major companies offers sample discs to try out the firmness at home, I am not the biggest fan of them. The larger a toy, the firmer it feels and the less flexible it will be. So choose the firmness with a grain of salt. What you don’t have to chose because it comes standard with every toy is a nifty storage bag.

Playing with the Skylar & Rutt

As already written, both toys are hard to compare. Counter intuitively the Skylar is actually a good trainings and pre-stretching toy – at least in soft or medium firmness. The long, tapering glans opens up the sphincter(s) softly for an easy entry without much pre-stretch. Despite the thick shaft, inside the rectum it is bendy enough to find its way towards the second sphincter and thus train your hole for depth play. Meanwhile the scales gently massage the first (an depending on the size second!) sphincter for added stimulation. Due to the strong curvature it is almost impossible to get prostate stimulation out of the scales. For this, the bumps on the top are good yet they are so shallow

Skylar’s Ridges

If you buy Skylar in firm, he becomes a toy for the experienced. The ridges feel so much more intense, a testee called my firm XL a “horny cheese grater”. Using quite some force, Skylar’s tip can twist. But this too little for gentle training. He will rearrange your guts! So a welcoming second sphincter and slow insertion is paramount when playing with a larger firm Skylar. Once he is in and you really need it hard, it is a great toy to unleash upon your hole to really trash it!

Rutt’s Dull Glans

Rutt in any case requires training and pre-stretching! This starts with the dullish glans which forces the sphincter open instead of slowly opening it up. The barrel-like shaft is untextured but since the diameter in the middle is 34% larger than the glans a bit of a stretch. From the glans runs a small ventral groove that can add stimulation when twisted inside the hole.

Though if the shaft and ventral groove excites you, you are not nearly prepared for what comes next! Compare to other K9 inspired dildos, Rutt’s knot top is quite dull. So if your hole is not loose enough, it will not get in! The knotting is made even more intense but the third bulge on top of the shaft! All in all, the shaft-knot-ratio is an insane 1:2 which made the Rutt the favorite for knot fucking among some of my testees.

Rutt’s Three Buldges Knot

A great feat of Rutt is that his shaft is relatively short. This means even not so depth-savvy size queens can enjoy the Rutt. Speaking of size-queens, a drop of bitterness is the sizing range on Rutt: While the large one is a bit small for experienced players, the XL is so much larger than I know only few who can take him. A size between those would be great!

Where to buy?

You can buy all Weredog toys at their website where you can customize them. The Skylar starts at 75€, the Rutt at 85€.