The McHurt Mini Teacher’s Bat, Mini Bat, Long Bat & Padded Long Bat
Before I start this review, a word on McHurt in general. Founded in 2007, their mission is to bring functionally high quality kink toys at affordable prices. Based in Berlin-Tempelhof, they were the first kink shop I have ever visited back in the summer of 2008. Some of the clamps that I have bought at that visit I still used and treasure today. They have an online shop but their in-store offering is WAY bigger. They have the a very large selection of different impact toys and I personally own at least fifty different ones from them.
Their core audience is more the straight scene which is reflected in their products. In 2022 I sent them drafts for two wooden impact toys because I could not find a maker to make them for me. They refused, saying my reviews are too critical because the gay scene has higher quality expectations than the straight one. So when I talk about their toys, keep this and their name in mind: From a functional point of view, they are great and will last you a lifetime. And the prices are incredible. But to achieve this they have to cut some small corners which I gladly allow to pass considering the value you get.
All the toys I am looking at today are so called bats, also called blades. They all have a short grip section which than tapers into a narrow and long – in case of the leather ones slightly cone-shaped – impact area and a rounded tip. All toys feature a hole at the end through which a leather loop is threaded to secure the toy to your wrist and for easy storage.
The leather bats are made out of two layers of very thick and stiff bridle leather. The leather and stitching come in some “kinky” colors like black and reds. Between them sits a piece of spring steel for added sturdiness. If you hit HARD or store the toy bent, the toy can deform a bit (this often happens to me when I cramp the toys in my toy bag). Once taken out simply bend it in shape again. Both leather pieces are glued together and sown around making these toys virtually indestructible. The edges are beveled, deburred and burnished for a nice and quality feel and look. The wrist loop is a little bit more basic with a piece of soft garment leather split in the middle to form a loop.
The two-layer construction of the Leather Bats. On the Right you can see a bit of deformation which you can easily bend back into shape
The small bat is 280mm long of which about 160mm can be used for impact, depending on your palm size. The maximum width is 33mm on the small one and 48mm on the long one which has an overall length of 420mm. At least 280mm of the length can be used for hitting.
The Long Bat comes in a padded version which sadly is not available on their website (if interested, simply write them a mail). On this toy one side is completely covered with medium-firm foam and lined with smooth garment leather.
Example of the manufacturing quality „shortcomings“ like split leather loop, the uneven stitching or not oiled hole in the wooden paddle for the leather loop. All these imperfections do not impair the play properties and are just esthetic!
The (Mini) Teacher’s Bat is made out of beautiful rosewood. It has been painstakingly sanded and oiled for a smooth finish with really brings out the grain and character of the wood – except the countersunk hole for the loop which edges are not oiled. It is great that the wood is oiled instead of lacquered like on other wooden toys I know. Lacquer has the tendencies to crack and splinter off over time leaving an ugly, rough surface. Speaking of smooth, the shape and edges has been rounded very well. It almost feel like a worry stone. Cross-section of this toy is almost oval. The wrist loop is made out of leather lace which I like a lot more than the split garment leather on the bats.
The Mini Teacher’s Bat is 265mm long of which roughly 160mm can be used. At the widest point it is 45mm wide. Sadly I don’t own the Teacher’s Bat – I cannot have (and store!) ALL the toys in the world, can I? – so the length of 460mm and width of approx 50mm comes form McHurt’s website. Considering the size similarity to the Long Bat, I just assume it can be wielded like the Long Bat.
Both wood and leather need about the same level of maintenance. After play, wipe them off with a wet cloth. If body fluids have been drawn, spray them with a sanitizer. Over time, this will dry out the material. The wood can be brought back to style using a paper towel with a bit of olive oil, for the leather use the leather care of your choice (personally I use Lexol but you can ask your boot black of choice)-
Playing with the Bats
Bats are some of the most universal impact toys out there. Their thin footprint makes them the perfect choice from large areas like the ass and thighs to more delicate ones like the soles of the feet for bastonado/ falaka or the palms of your sub’s hands. Especially on the latter body areas, be careful with the intensity as the small bones in the hands and feet break easily! With a bit of practice you can precisely target the blows to the very sensitive body area where the ass cheeks transition to the thighs or the inside of the thighs. The smaller versions of the toys are great for targeted, small area impact like glans spanking, ball smacking or nipple hitting.
The rounded shape and flowing lines of the Mini Teacher’s Bat
The relatively thin impact area naturally focuses the kinetic energy on a small body area. So an equally intense blow with a bat will feel more intense than with standard paddle. For an ever more focused blow, hit with the side of the bat! This is even more important considering the material these toys are made out of. The bridle leather is very dense and stiff and the wood, well… is wood. There is little give or softness in the material so all toys are stingy. Surprisingly the rounding of the wood makes it feel smoother so it is a bit less stingy than the wooden counterparts. An exception of course is that padded side of the Long Bat. Even intense, focused blows are thuddy making it a truly universal toy.
Due to the stiffness of the material, all bats are great for tapping. The intensity can be very gradually adjusted because there is almost no flex. The Mini Bat is also good for snapping. Despite the flexibility of the leather and the spring steel you can build up tension easily. This process will deform the toy over time but you can easily bend it back in shape. Due to its rounded shape, the Mini Teacher’s Bat is not perfect for snapping. The smooth shape simply makes it hard to keep it from slipping and this building tension.
Comparing the Padded and regular version of the Long Bat
Tapping can be used for warm-up but it is a sub-optimal process. It either takes very long or once you increase intensity, you already deal out quite the intensity beyond warm-up. Unless you have to Padded Long Bat. The padded side is equally perfect for warm-up and long, intense sessions with novices or more thud-loving bottoms. The only downside for warm-up is that due to the narrow blade, it takes a bit longer to cover a large body area like the ass or thighs compared to a classic paddle. But once you switch sides, you have the flash-like sting of the firm, dense bridle leather! If you only have ONE impact toy in your toy collection, the Padded Long Bat is actually the perfect choice offering – albeit focused – thud and sting. These properties makes it a good beginner’s to to start out with so it has become my go-to gift if I want to give a novice top something to start out with.
This is also due to the easy handling. You can easily target your blows and finely tune the intensity. One drawback is that due to the shape bats are always unbalanced. They are head-heavy and overtime can tire out your wrist. Especially since due to the stiffness and the narrowness there is a bit of “blowback”. On the plus side if you keep your rhythm the toy develops momentum, bit like a flogger, making the impact easier – especially on the long ones.