KinkLab NeonWand Flex Capacitor

The KinkLab NeonWand Flex Capacitor

Vendor: Mister B


Like all violet wand attachments the rear end is made out of metal to connect the electrode with the want itself. Its round plug measures 23x11mm which is the standard for most modern violet wands. There are some out there which have a different socket size so if you don’t have the NeonWand from KinkLab (which I reviewed here), double check if it is the right size.

Unlike most other violet wand attachments, the conductive part is not made out of glass but conductive silicone. So it is flexible and does not break easily. Over the length of 55mm it tapers and arches a bit back before opening up to the 55mm long head. There the silicone is only 7mm thick so it is very flexible. The head is approx. 30° angular to the shaft which allows for precise targeting during play without the power unit getting into way. After 20mm the head splits into to 35mm long prongs which have slightly curved forward ends. The space between the prongs’ end is 7.5mm.

Detail of the Head with the Gap between the Prongs

Playing with the Flex Capacitor

Before I got the Flex Capacitor I had been playing with Violet Wands for almost half a decade but just with glass electrodes. Through the different material properties of silicone it greatly enriched my play. First, there is the possibility to press a large area of the electrode against the skin. While the small lightning between the electrode and the body has a pinching sensation, pressing the entire head against the skin creates a buzzing sensation – which depending on the power level can certainly be agonizing. Simply running the prong tips over the skin almost feels like a wartenberg wheel being used.

Of course when you lift the electrode off the skin, the lightning occurs again. Like all electricity, it takes the shortest way. When you bring both prongs parallel to the body, both ends emit a lightning. This can be incorporated into play when through slightly twisting the violet wand the lightning jumps from one end to the other. Sadly through the curved ends there is no way to bring the entire head completely parallel to the body to create a “lightning circle”. Yet the small tip size of the individual prongs makes them great for precise targeting.

Detail of the Lightning emited from the Electrode

The gap between the prongs opens up a world of new play possibilities: “Grabbing” body parts with lightning. My testees most often circled around nipples, teased foreskin when still covering the glans or the frenulum when after exposing the glans. While this is good fun the gap could be considerably larger for example to fit an entire dick or just the glans between the prongs. Moving up and down the shaft would probably make for an interesting experience!

Last but not least, there is a practical aspect: Most modern violet wands do not have moving parts anymore which makes them usable for travel. But with the electrodes being made out of glass, even in well-padded cases I was always afraid to take mine on the road. But since silicone does not have this issue, I actually have been taking mine to scenes and play parties quite often since I have gotten the Flex Capacitor.

Conclusion: Innovative violet wand electrode for a new, unique sensation.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Adds new sensation to static e-stim play Distance between prongs could be wider Mister B 59€
Precise targeting
Almost impossible to break

Kinkonomics – Sex Toy Pricing

Last week sex toy pricing was twice the topic on Twitter: British gay sex shop Clonezone announced a sale up to 75% which lead to a little shit storm because people felt they Clonezone would generally overcharge them. Later this week, Twitter user DiggerPup responded to my review of the Mister B Nipple Claws that you could get the barrels off eBay as diamond prongs for around £3.50 instead of the £30 Mister B charges for the sex toy. Since both topics are somewhat related and the topic of sex toy pricing is a constant one in my reader questions, I decided to blog about it today.

The Iconic Mr S Store on 8th Street in San Francisco. Maintaining such a big presence in a high-rent area is expensive.

Running a business creates a lot of costs beyond the purchase price of the goods sold: Rent, insurance, capital costs, wages, income and value added taxes and many more. When the business manufactures own goods, the prices for workshop equipment, defective work and research & development also needs to be priced into the product price. If you are a multi-channel retailer (which means running an online and a brick & mortar business at the same time), your prices have to have a mixed calculation: Being competitive towards other online retailers, being the same offline and online and still covering the costs of stationary stores (for example store rent in the gay district which – especially through gentrification – is generally higher than the rent in an industrial estate).

While all retails have to cover these costs, kinky products come with the same challenges as luxury goods: They are not essential needs but part of the self-actualization so among all the other purchase possibilities they generally speaking rank amid the lowest in priority. Furthermore, once bought, the likelihood of purchasing a similar good again soon, is low compared to other products. So all the costs mentioned above need to be covered by products which are not bought often and are marketed to a niche.

For that reason, the profit margin of most kink products compared to luxury goods which ranges between 60% and 150%. This sounds like a lot, but if you take off the value added tax (in percentage points!) and take into consideration that the average receipt is relatively low because the most common purchases are cockrings, nipple clamps and lube, the profit is not that high.

The S10 Hooded Gas Mask: A good example how Labor and Material Costs increase the Price of a Pervertable

So, how does this relate to the two opening examples? First let’s talk about the Clonezone sale. The initial tweet readUp to 75%”. The word “up” is important. I went to webpage linked in the tweet on Jan 21st at 6pm and the average discount over all offers was 26.11%. At an average cloth retailer you will get a bigger discount rate at an end of season sale. Looking at the profit margin from the last paragraph and taking into consideration the VAT, the products are not that outrageously overpriced as the 75% discount would imply but priced margin-wise in the neighborhood of average department store or luxury products.

The Mister B Nipple Claws are actually a good example to illustrate why kink products are not as overpriced as they first might appear. If you wanted to make your own Nipples Claws you would need two diamond prongs which cost £9 including shipping and chain and the two bails for approx. £2. The labor time for drilling, deburring and soldering will take about 10 minutes which will cost approx. £4. So a self-made Nipple Claw would cost you £15 – not including tool depreciation and maintenance costs, the labor costs for purchasing the materials and the hypothetical costs of defective work. Taking into consideration scale effects, the Nipple Claws will have a purchase price for Mister B of £10. But Mister B is not only a multi-channel retailer, but also a wholesaler. They need to price their products so they can sell it to other retailers with a profit and they must be able to make a profit covering all the costs of their own business.

The Mr S Four Buckel Restraints and Bishop Head Harness. Two of the probably most knocked-off Piece of Bondage Gear.

While I am on the subject, I want to address a third aspect I often get asked: Why are toys from Bad Dragon, Square Pegs or Oxballs so expensive? Why buy the original products from Mr S or Regulation when there are cheaper version of them from Asia on eBay?

  1. Raw Material Price: Premium sex toy maker use premium, but thus more expensive materials. Silicone for example needs a catalyst which can be the inexpensive metal lead. But for humans, lead is an highly toxic material so body-safe products should use the catalyst platinum which naturally is more expensive. Most leather from Asia is dressed in a way which does not satisfy European or American safety standards. Potentially dangerous chemicals and processes are used among which the Chrome-6 allergy is the most common yet the most “harmless”. Since most leather pieces designed for BDSM are worn on the bare skin, these chemicals are more easily absorbed through body warmth and sweat than when the leather is used to make a cheap leather jacket which has a cloth lining.
  2. Liability Risks and Customer Loyalty: The potential harm through cheap raw materials is only one part of potential liability risk. When selling bondage gear for extremer scenes like suspension, the production quality has to be so good, that an avarage piece being sold must be able to good enough to satisfy safety requirements even when assesed in court.
    Because established companies have become a brand of their own. The customer expects a certain level of product quality. Otherwise through the small size of the kink community, a bad reputation quickly spreads which can easily get a company into big economic troubles. This kind quality control causes higher costs through more thorough manufacturing, quality testing of samples or all products and higher cull.
  3. Lack of scale effects: Most kink products are not made in large quantities. A type of bondage gear is usually only manufactured two or three pieces at a time because the capital tie-cost would be too high to produce them in bulk and just store them. Through the large number of different color and pattern options, firmness degrees and extras, each Bad Dragon toy is individually made. Despite the basic technique of making leather or polymer toys is the same, there is no real chance of gathering much experience making the individual model so there are only little scale effects (for example increased manufacturing speed and reduction of defective work).
  4. The Prototype of the Mountain Drake Dildo, submitted by user Xan to the Bad Dragon Labs

    Labor costs: These companies are usually located in the western world and there in areas with high living costs like London or LA. Through social security systems and generally high living costs than in developing countries, the labor costs of skilled craftsmen like leather tailors are considerably higher causing higher product prices.

  5. Research and Development: The more elaborate the product, the more complex the design process is going to be. For example: Oxballs uses 3D printer to rapid prototype their new toys, Bad Dragon has an entire community dedicated to product design, not to talk about how difficult it is to create a sowing pattern for ergonomically designed bondage gear. All these efforts to design new products costs time and thus labor, sometimes required special equipment (3D printer, CAD programs, etc.) and expensive raw materials.

I know that sex and kink toys are expensive and that there are always more toys a kinkster wants than he can afford. But I hope this little blog entry illustrated well why the products we perverts yearn for are most of the time worth the price in the store.

Nipple Claws

The Mister B Nipple Claws

Vendor: Mister B


These clamps are quite inconspicuous: Just two barrels with a lever at the bottom. But when you push the lever, four pointy metal fingers extend which are 11mm long and created an aperture of about 10mm.  The housing barrel is 51mm long and has a diameter of 7mm. The upper 4/5 of the barrel is knurled for better grip and a disk around the rim with a 15mm diameter enables precise operation and control of the clamps even wearing thicker rubber gloves and somewhat lubey hands. The barrels are connected by 32cm long chain which is attached to them by a movable bail

Detail of the Knurling and Grip Disk

Playing with the Nipple Claws

Pputting these clamps onto the nipple is a quite surprising experience: Through the relatively tame spring tension the pain is not as intense as the intimidating look might imply. This difference of anticipated and actual sensation makes these clamps ideal for a bit of mindfuck. Though they are far from tame. Even lightly pulling on the chain increases the pain dramatically. Suspending a weight from it and let it swing is agonizing. Letting it drop is hell – especially since unlike other clamps the Nipple Claws stay in place when the weight drops. Like with any other clamp, pumping the nipples in advance will increase their sensitivity. But unlike with most other clamps, the added puffiness will not compromise the grip.

Detail of the actual clamp

These clamps really shine in more messy scenes. The knurling and disk allow to operate the clamps even with messy fingers to a certain degree. Since the metal fingers dig a bit into the tissue, the Nipple Claws even grip onto sweaty nipples, lube-covered ball skin or pre-cum drenched foreskin where other clamps would slip off.

Despite looking quite mean, the claws never broke the skin while testing them. Through the relatively small aperture and lighter spring tension, these clamps are made for play on bare skin. They can pierce lycra and thinner rubber, thicker rubber and leather will prevent them from gripping the nipple.

Conclusion: Mean clamps with even meaner looks and hard grip.
Pro Cons Where to get Price
Stays securely on attached body area Small aperture might make attaching clamp to desired body area Mister B 34.50€
Easy to operate

Anal Toys 101

Finding the right anal toy and keeping it in good shape so it lasts for a long time can be a bit of a challenge. In this 101 I talk about what to consider when buying an anal toy and how to care for it properly.

Buyer’s Guide to Anal toys

There are many aspects to consider when choosing an anal toy. Especially when you are buying your first one and have not developed personal preferences yet, giving each aspect some thought is a good idea because a good anal toy is quite an investment. But if chosen wisely will bring you fun for years to come.


Deciding out of which material your new anal toy is going to be made is the first step when choosing it because the material properties impact many relevant aspects of anal play.

Material composition

This is the most important aspect of choosing a toy. In the old days before EU regulations and custom testing imported goods, toys which I would not have recommended to put up your butt were widely available!

The inside of your colon is basically one big mucosal that will happily absorb whatever the lube (especially water-based lube) washes out of the toy’s material. Thus I recommend only purchasing toys which are manufactured in the EU or USA where dangerous plasticizers like phthalates or lead as a catalytic agent for silicone are forbidden. Just to be safe look for the label “Platinum Silicone” or “Phthalates Free” when choosing a toy. At the end of Buyer’s Guide there is a list of manufacturers I personally source from if you want a recommendation.


Not every lube can be used with every material. Some lubes will actually cause to disintegrate your toy. Thus depending on your lube preferences you have to choose the toy material.

The following chart shows which lube can generally speaking be safely used with which material. Of cause individual material composition can lead to unexpected effects. If you want to err on the side of safety only use water-based lube.

Water-base Lube Silicone-Base Lube Hybrid Lube Oil/Fat-Base Lube
Silicone X X
PVC/ Vinyl
Rubber X
TPR (✔) (✔)
Other hard Plastic

The Square Peg Charlie Horse Wiggly in Supersoft Bronze from Regulation

Firmness & Surface Smoothness

While glass, metal and wood are always hard, the plastic ones come in different degrees of firmness. With the latter group the thickness is also influenced by the thickness. The thicker a toy the harder it will feel.

Which degree of firmness is good is depends on the usage situation. For training your ass a softer toy is better because it adjusts a bit to the sphincter. For wearing a toy for an extended period of time a harder material is better because the sphincter will adjust to the form of the toy which is more comfortable in the long run. Also with hard surfaces the likelihood of skin folds and thus a pinching sensation decreases.

The firmness also impacts the structural integrity. The firmer the toy the easier it will stand up by itself. This is especially important then you want to ride or sit on a toy. If it is too soft, it will collapse.

Furthermore the surface structure is important. The smoother the surface the easier the toy glides in and the easier it will be to clean.


A quick word on pervertables: There are wooden, metal and glass objects which are not made for anal play but are being used for it, most prominently baseball bats or batons. Before inserting them into your rectum make sure they are deburred and 100% smooth! Especially which with wood it is imperative that is has a sanded and treated surface! Getting a splinter into your colon is always a reason to rush to the ER! As for glass objects, especially vases and bottles: Keep them out of your ass! The glass used to anal toys is a special type of glass that almost never breaks and glass anal toys are always solid. The injuries caused by shards of broken glass inside your rectum can be lethal!

The Bolder Stoll Doll from Regulation

Toy Form Factor

There are two major form factors: Dildos, which are compared to their thickness relatively long shafts with a tapered ending for easier insertion, and plugs, which are shorter and between the maximum diameter and the base taper again so they can stay inside the butt.


Dildos are probably the oldest sex toys humans invented. Stone penises as old as 28.000 years have been excavated. They induce a friction sensation on the nerve endings inside the sphincter while sliding in and out and at best hit the prostate. Depending on the glans’ shape there can be some stretching sensation.

Dildos come in two varieties. The first one are realistic dildos. They mimic the penis shape of humans, animal or anthropomorphic beings. This means the shaft is textured with veins which intensify the friction and thus the sensation. At the bottom end most of the them feature a base shaped like balls. The second variety are shape dildos. They are bullet or torpedo shaped and lack natural texturing.

The Square Peg Depth Probe from Regulation

Somewhere between dildos and plugs are shape dildos which consist of a series of bulges. The most extreme form of this form are anal beads. They are a series of balls connected by a string or a tubes which are inserted into the ass and then slowly pulled out. Of cause these toys aim to create a stretching sensation rather than a friction one.

A special form of dildos are so call depth trainers, also commonly called colon snakes. They are long (at least 35cm long), made out of flexible materials and don’t have much texture; a depth indication scale at most. They are designed to seduce the second sphincter to gradually open up to prepare for deep fisting.  Since this sphincter is not used to physical stimulation and unlike the anus can’t be relaxed purposefully, training it takes some time. So don’t rush it!

The Oxballs Pig Hole Deep from Mr S


The shape of a butt plugs is best compared to the bottom half of a sand clock. From the tip they gradually increase in diameter and then – depending on the plug – either taper again or go directly into a short neck which is attached to a base. Through the gradually increasing diameter the main sensation of plugs is a stretching one.  So plugs are good to slowly accustom to and train the sphincter to a certain diameter.

A special form of plugs are hollow or tunnel plugs. Their outside form is like a butt plug but instead of being solid they have hole in the middle. Through the opening in the middle the tip is dull. So even if you can take the maximum diameter of the plug you might not be able to take it or only after a long pre-stretching. The hole is useful for many things. Through it lube or other liquids can be poured or the closing function of the sphincter can temporarily be taken away. The plug also protects the nerve endings in the sphincter from friction. Thus hollow plugs are especially useful in combination with depth trainers. Such plugs shield the anus from the friction sensation allowing the bottom to focus on what is happening at his second sphincter. When the tunnel plug is made out of a stretchy material (and is large enough) it can be used to fist through it making a formally too small interesting again or put it over a standard butt plug to increase its size.

With the increasing popularity of pet play there is a growing market of tail plugs. Instead of a base an appendix mimicking the look of an animal’s tail (most common are dog and pig tails) is attached to the plug’s body.  When choosing a tail keep two things in mind: Don’t buy a too small plug section because if it slides in too easily it will also slide out easily causing you to lose the tail when walking or wagging. Furthermore the mass ration between the plug and the tail should not be too much off. The center of gravity should be at the plug otherwise there is also the danger of the tail popping out easily. Tails are also popular with switchers not into pet play. When fucking somebody the tail will develop an momentum which is transferred to the plug section which than stimulates the prostate.

Finding the Right Size & Form

The following factors determined first if you will be able to take the anal toy and second how much you will enjoy it.

The Domestic Partner Crack Attack from Regulation

Maximum Diameter

Usually 3cm to 4cm is a good size to start out anal play. As you progress to bigger toys I recommend going up in steps of 1cm to 1.5cm increased maximum diameter. This is enough of a challenge yet you get the satisfaction of conquering the toy after a couple of days to weeks depending on how thoroughly you train. I know that this is costly by trying to get a toy in for weeks and always failing is very frustrating!


The slope of a toy defines how quickly the diameter from the tip on increases.

Even though the sphincter at the anus can somewhat voluntarily be relaxed it still is a muscle humans cannot control completely. It needs to be seduced to open up and in order to establish a certain training level actually carefully (!) stretched like every other muscle. Thus generally speaking steeper slopes are better because they allow the sphincter to open up more gradually. Especially when you are a novice stay away from toys with large dull tips because it will just press against the sphincter and it won’t open up. But even with a well-trained ass you will encounter toys that diameter wise are not really a challenge yet you won’t be able to take due to a weird slope. Sadly there now way to know before the purchase with which toys this is going to be the case so please be prepared for one or two useless purchases.

At butt plugs there are two slopes to look it: First the one before the maximum diameter which I just talked about. The second one is the one behind it. It defines how easily the toy comes out again. When you want to train your sphincter a steep slope is preferable. Once inside you can slowly fuck yourself with the plug, enjoying the stretching sensation. If you want to wear the plug for an extended period of time a duller to non-existing slope is preferable because it makes involuntarily popping out more difficult. However please keep in mind: When keeping a plug in, the “warm-up” effect of pushing it in slowly fades so seducing your sphincter to open up and release the plug becomes increasingly more difficult when keeping it in for long.

The Square Peg Happy Hour from Mr S

Position of Widest Diameter

Especially when you progress in training the position of the widest diameter becomes an important aspect to keep in mind. If you stick with a steep slope and increase the diameter the location of the maximum diameter moves further away from the tip so you have to insert more length for the maximum stretch. Since the colon is a quite small body cavern you might not reach the neck or even the maximum diameter. From a psychological point of view this is bad when training because inserting a toy completely fills you with a sense of accomplishment and giving you an opportunity to rest. This is usually a boost of eagerness to train further. Constantly failing on a plug is quite demotivating.


The texture describes the surface of a toy beyond the material properties (see: Firmness & Surface Smoothness). Since texture increases the friction of a toy it makes the insertion more difficult. So a textured toy with a diameter you usually take easily might not fit afterall.

In the section about natural dildos I have already briefly talked about natural texturing. They comprise of veins, the molded glans and foreskin and when we look at anthropomorphic toys scales, etc.

Detail of the Convex Shape and the Heavily Textured Surface of Apollo the Chimera

On shape dildos and plugs these three texture patters can be found (in ascending order of intensity): Groves, bumps and ridges. Which form delivers the best sensation is very individual. But a good rule of thumb is: the higher the texture is risen the stronger the stimulation. This of cause means that these toys are meant for play when the hole is already relaxed and well played with so it is not about the stretching (sensation) but about teasing the nerves in the sphincter. Please keep in mind that this form of play can wear out an ass quickly so be prepared for the scene to end rather sooner than later.

Extra Features

Sometimes toys come with extra features for a more intense or varied play. The most commonly found extra are sucktion cups. They enable you to temporarily securely attach the toy to a smooth surface (tiles are best for it) using vacuum. This is nifty feature when you really want to ride at toy so it doesn’t slip away.

For training the sphincter or creating a feeling of being stuffed without being able to take large diameters inflatable toys are useful. Once inserted you can pump them up in order to increase the diameter. I recommend buying only inflatable toys with a solid core for easier insertion.

Detail of the Base with Suction Cup Feature

A less commonly found feature are cum tubes. At the tip of the toy there is a small opening onto which a tube is attached. At the end of this tube is a syringe filled with a cum like lube. If you pus the end of the syringe the cum is getting splashed into the colon simulating an ejaculation. As nifty and unique as this sensation might be, a cum tube makes cleaning and drying of the toy more difficult.

For added stimulation some anal toys feature a vibrating function. When you are using quite hard toys this sensation can also be achieved by pressing a magic wand against the toy’s base. Another added stimulation is e-stim. Please refer to my in-depth review of e-stim plugs here for more information.

Personal Recommendations

This is a highly subjective, certainly not complete list of brand and retailers where good anal toys can be found. From these I source my anal toys from because I trust them for their product safety and quality.

Caring for your Anal Toys

Cleaning & Safer Sex

From a Safer Sex point of view a toy should either be used only by one person or covered by a condom. While the first is unlikely if you are having an active “social” life, the latter is unpractical as soon as it comes to toys larger than an L size penis. So cleaning the toys the right way is essential.

To clean your toys after play fill the sink with water between 40°C and 50°C, add dish soap and let the toy soak for approx. 15 minutes. I recommend using dish soap without perfume or lotion because these additives are bad for rubber and some PVCs. If you have used very thick water based lube add salt to break down the lube. At the soaking scrub the toys with a soft brush and rinse the soap water off. As a first step of sanitizing fill the sink again with hot water, add vinegar-based cleaner (possibly organic because you want to shove the toy up your butt again) and let it soak for a quarter of an hour. The acid in the vinegar will also deal with most of the unpleasant smells. Rinse the toy off and let it dry. Finally spray the toy with a sanitizer. The agents in the sanitizer can make glossy surfaces dull so you might want to try it on the base where the blemished surface is inconspicuous.

With some materials other means of sterilization are also possible once the lube has been washed off.  Metal toys can be flamed or autoclaved; the latter is also possible with high quality silicone toys.

A common question is how to deal with discolored toys. Sadly this effect is irreversible and simply comes with ages of plastic toys. To avoid it, buy only black toys.


In order to have long lasting fun with your toys keep some simple storage rules in mind. Always clean the toys after using them. The lube or body fluids otherwise can foster chemical reactions which might harm the toy. The storage place should be dry and well ventilated especially when you are storing toys from different manufacturers or made out of different materials together. The toys must never touch! The different plasticizers used by different manufacturers and materials can cause the toys to dissolve when touching or the air being filled with them. If the process started (an area getting sticky or gooy) it is too late. Sadly the process is irreversible and sooner than later you have to throw away the toy. Especially soft toys should be stored upright (or in case of depth trainers loosely rolled up) otherwise they might get permanent creases.

Mister B All Black Bernhard

Toy Properties

Form: Textured Dildo
Material: Phthalate-free vinyl made in the EU.
Colors: Only Black.
Firmness: Medium; does not collapse when standing up.
Lube: Water, Silicone, Hybrid, Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Vinyl has a porous surface so even after thorough cleaning if you want to be a 100% sure, put a condom over it or use it only on one partner.
Storage: Store either standing up or lying down in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to prevent damaging the toys.

Vendor: Regulation

Since I started reviewing anal toys a new group of readers has come to Welcome to my pervy little project. I hope you enjoy what I am writing about when it is not about anal play. And maybe I spark your curiosity to venture out a bit in the interesting and diverse world of kink. But one of the questions I get the most from the new readers is why I always review such enormous toys. Its because these are the toys I own but I same somewhat smaller toys so this review is partly for the aspiring novice partly for the real fist connoisseurs.

Mister B All Black Bernhard

Mister B All Black Bernhard


The All Black Bernhard starts out with a conical tip. The top is 22mm wide and almost dull and expends up to 55mm over a length of 55mm. The shaft is textured with ribs of different width of heights leading to a diameter which increases from 44mm just below the tip to 59mm at the bottom. The last 4cm of is has no texture but is a little bit convex so it can work as a grip if you don’t have too lubey fingers.

The overall length of the dildo is 27cm. Since there is no base be a bit cautious when playing enthusiastically with it. It nearly disappeared in one of the testee’s rectum.

Playing with it

Ok, I have to admit, I lied a bit in the intro text. This toy is not really for the novice but for the little bit experienced. The dull tip makes it a bit hard to seduce an untrained sphincter to open up. But when you can take toys with a diameter up to 40mm you should be fine. The gradually increasing diameter of the “glans” is good to train the sphincter up to taking 55mm. Slowly (!!!) riding the shaft will accustom the sphincter to closing and opening up again. Taking time, relaxing, feeling the effect of the subtle ribs is a good training for relaxing the sphincter purposely. This skill is important when later switching to larger toys or even fists. But don’t get carried away by the awesome feeling too much and ride the toy more and more vigorously because with an untrained ass which is stretched to the max. this can lead to injuries.

Detail of the Grooves and the Glans Like Tip

Detail of the Grooves and the Glans Like Tip

Speaking of fisting: What is a danger for the novice hole is really hot for the well-experienced one. At the end of a fisting scene when the sphincter is really relaxed you can pick up this toy and work the ass over with it HARD. The ribs will stimulate the nerve endings for a unique experience. Be advised that the physical and stimulation stress can wear the bottom out fairly quickly so I recommend using this toy when the scene is almost over or in short intervals so the fistee begs for a relaxing fist as a break from an overwhelming stimulation.

Where to buy?

The Mister B All Black Bernhard can be bought at Regulation for £19.99.

Mister B Dark Crystal Large Tounguebiter

Vendor: Regulation

The Mister B Dark Crystal Large Tounguebiter

The Mister B Dark Crystal Large Tounguebiter


This dildo is made out of phthalate-free vinyl and comes in either black or clear. It is made in Belgium so it has to stick to the strict EU regulations regarding product safety so it is safe to use without a condom (as long as it is only used by one person, see below). Since like all vinyl toys it has to use some form of more or less volatile plasticizer, store the toy in a well ventilated area where it does not touch other toys so they don’t damage each other. Straight out of the wrapping it does not smell bad, just when you get your nose close to the toy you will recognize the usual vinyl smell. Firmness wise it is on the softer side of vinyl toys yet it stands up straight when resting on the base.

Being made out of vinyl you can use any lube with it, e.g. water- or silicone-based ones, hybrid lube or fat like Crisco. Cleaning the toy is easy: I soak my toys for half an hour in water that is so hot that I can just touch it and add dish soap. Any hotter water will damage the vinyl. After that I let it dry and spray a sanitizer on it. This procedure should kill most germs but compare to other materials vinyl has a porous surface. So if you want to be a 100% safe when using this toy with other people, put a condom over it.

Detail of the Glans-Shaped Top and the Bumps which cover the Shaft

Detail of the Glans-Shaped Top and the Bumps which cover the Shaft


The basic for of this toy is the one of a traditional dildo with balls forming the base. The inside of the base is a bit dome-shaped so due the softness of the material, it works like a strong suction cup on smooth surfaces. The balls are large enough to comfortable hold the dildo especially when a second person is using it on the bottom.

The dildo’s top is glans-shaped with a diameter of approx. 45mm. After a small recess the shaft starts out with a diameter of approx. 45mm and increases in size up to 57mm. The length of the shaft including the glans is 235mm. All over the shaft there are approx. 6mm high round bumps.

Playing with it

This toy is definitely not for the anal novice. The glans is rather dull so you need to be either experienced or somewhat pre-stretched to easily take it.  While the shaft it not too big the bumps make taking it a bit of a challenge if you are not fistable. Yet they are the feature which make this toy interesting. The sphincter is one of the body areas with the most nerve ending so when riding this dildo the bumps stimulate the nerves and force the muscle to relax in small areas. To really enjoy this ride don’t force it in or ride it to vigorously right from the beginning, otherwise you might damage your sphincter or the mucosa of your rectum.

Detail of the Base with Suction Cup Feature

Detail of the Base with Suction Cup Feature

But not only on your own is this dildo fun, with a partner it gets a whole new quality. While lying down and relaxing, purely focusing on the sensation of the bumps teasing your nerves the partner can challenge the bottom with speed and depth in a sensible way causing exciting and hot agony. I love this toy in the middle or the end of a fisting scene. While the sphincter is relaxed enough to take the toy, the bumps really tease the from the fisting already sensitive nerve ending. With another person on charge twisting the dildo adds a new tantalizing sensation. When doing this a word of warning is in place: This can become so horny that you can easily overexcite your sphincter and the nerves so heavy play with this dildo is not recommended when you have another fisting scene in the next couple of days.

The Mister B Dark Crystal Large Toungebiter can be bought at Regulation for £38.99 either in black or in clear. There is also a shorter version out there with fewer bumps on the shaft that costs £34.99 and is also available in black and clear.

Bondage Hardware Special Part 2 – Rope Substitutes

This is the second part of the Bondage Hardware Special. While in the first part I talked about Rope in this text will be about all the different means you can use to fetter someone if you don’t want to deal with rope.

Tension Belts

Originally these belts were designed to secure cargo but are as equally good for securing human beings. They consist of a nylon strap which is attached to a lock through which you pull the strap in order to shorten and tighten it. Sometimes at the part of the belt where the lock is attached there is a loop through which you can attach a carabineer. You can get tension belts for fairly little money however I do not recommend getting the cheapest ones. Most of the time with cheap ones the end of the nylon strap is not welded so it starts to fray. Also more expensive ones are certified for a specific weight. When fettering a sub or using for suspension bondage I would not recommend for going anything lower than 200kg certified. While you can use tension belts on bare skin I would not recommend it. The edges of the nylon straps are sharp and the strap itself can create rope burn if the sub moves too quickly too long under them.

Bungee Cords

Another cargo securing device that can be used for bondage. They are made out of two hooks connected by a flexible cord covered in nylon fabric. Because they were designed not to secure heavy cargo you will need several bungee cords to achieve the same sense of bondage as you would with a single tension belt. However in this property lies the beauty of bungee cords. Even one single cord with produce down force that can be easily overpowered. But if you attached several ones the sub can struggle against the in his mind weak cords, maybe lift himself a bit but will ultimately fail. Theoretically you can use bungee cords for suspension bondage but I would not advise it. It is too hard to figure out how many you need in order to securely hang someone from the ceiling. Another thing to keep in mind is that the flexible cord over time will stretch and age so you have to check and replace the cords on a regular basis.

A Pair of Police Velcro Restraints

A Pair of Police Velcro Restraints

Velcro Straps

When I talk about Velcro straps I do not mean the cable binders you can buy for next to nothing at the office store but industrial grade Velcro straps that are at least 3cm wide; narrower ones cut too easily into the body. Velcro is again a great mindfuck material: It is regarded as easily to open but once you attach a long enough part of the hard side to the soft side it is impossible for a bound person to break free. You can quickly and easy secure a person quite well with Velcro straps especially when you use Velcro restraints made for the authorities. They come with a loop which makes tightening the straps easy. Doing so will require some practice because the two sides of the straps will quickly attach to each other leaving you with a twine you need to untangle first before.

Please only put the soft side onto the body (if you don’t want that extra sensation agonizing) because the hard side can create painful abrasions. Even the wider ones I would not advise to use for suspension.

The Mr S Hobble Belt

The Mr S Hobble Belt


The probably most widely available secure mean of bondage in the household. It can be made out of a variety of materials so in order to test if it is made for bondage check if the edges are hard and can harm the skin. Than close the belt, hang it onto a secure anchor point and hand yourself onto it. It is doesn’t break and the claps doesn’t deform, you can use it for bondage. Otherwise you need a new belt. There are belts out there which holes all around the belt which is handy. Other belts come with added bondage features like this one from Mister B that turns into four restraints, this one from Mr S with four D-rings or their Hobble Belt which is a restraint.


Chains come in a number of varieties. The only ones I would recommend for bondage are twisted link and rolo, either in torus or in circle, patterns. Both patterns are smooth enough to be used on bare skin and offer enough space in the links to attach rope, carabineers or additional chains. Today most chains are welded instead of forged so there is a weldseam on every link. Sometimes these seams can be have sharp edges so before you use chain on bare skin check the links for such spots.

A Runner Holding a Chain in Place

A Runner Holding a Chain in Place


Originally made for climbing these are nylon straps which are very securely sowed at the ends to create a loop. You can’t adjust the length of them. I mostly use them to create anchor points using a cow hitch. They are also good for suspension bondage if you want a similar length at all attachments points.

Shoe Laces

Another item that can be found in any household but I would only recommend softer and wider shoe laces like fat laces for bondage. Any other can cut circulation and are thus dangerous. Also: Most shoe laces are not designed to withstand too much force so I would not recommend using them for any bondage where much resistance is anticipated but they are great for genital bondage.

Tape & Saran Wrap

When you watch movies tape seems to be the bondage material of choice for thugs these days. And to a certain extend you can use tape for bondage however I would not advise it. First of all getting the tape of when there is body hair under it can be quite painful. It also takes some practice to wrap it right: Too tight and it will cut circulation, too loose and you can easily get out. Also, most glues used on tape, like the iconic duct tape, is water-soluble. So it the sub sweats too much or if you attempt to do a tape gag which is often seen in movies you are at a loss.

These problems do not occur with saran wrap. However you need several layers to make it strong enough to withstand some struggle. If you want to use these means for bondage I would recommend doing a saran wrap base layer and add tape to that. When choosing the saran wrap be careful what you buy. There is wrap that shrinks which requires special surveillance of the sub when you use it, especially for mummification!

In the next part of this series called “Connection Hardware” I will talk about the nifty little things which connect different bondage means without knots.

Bondage Hardware Special Part 1 – Rope

Welcome to the first part of the Bondage Hardware Special. You can find an overview of the different texts of this six part series here.

For many people rope is the first kinky toy they make contact with because it is widely available, inexpensive and with a little practice enables you to do quite secure and creative bondage scene. However with so many different varieties on the market I am starting out this special on bondage hardware with rope.

First a disclaimer: I am not good with ropes. I don’t have the patience (and frankly the hand-eye-coordination) to learn enough skills that I would find sufficient for a scene. Because of that I invested so much money into leather restraints. In order to get you the high quality of information you are used from my website I did extensive research and talked to experts. Also I want to clarify that I neither see any superiority in rope or leather restraints. A few decades ago people who used rope were looked down on because they could not afford leather restraints; today it sometimes feel a bit that people look down on other who “have to” use leather restraints because they cannot handle ropes. Both are valid methods of bondage which have a place in our diverse scene!


There number of different materials rope is made out of is nearly infinite. So this section raises no claim to completeness. I will cover the most common materials; if you have a question about a material I have not talked about just send me an e-mail.

Materials not usable for bondage

First I want to talk about materials that are not made for bondage. Especially after Fifty Shades of Grey a friend who works at the ER told me about a lot of injuries the resulted from using this materials. Most of them can be found in every house hold so when you are horny and nothing to fetter is around it is good to keep this list in mind to stay away from them:

  • Any kind of yarn
  • Clotheslines
  • String
  • Fishing or kite Lines
Twisted Monk Rope by Mr S

Twisted Monk Rope by Mr S

Material usable for bondage

These materials can theoretically be used for bondage and can be sorted into two groups: Natural and synthetic materials. The most common used natural material is cotton. It is soft, inexpensive and easy to care for. However through the smooth surface knots can travel and if you take one without a solid core knots can tighten. This problem doesn’t occur with hemp rope. Its rougher surface keeps knots in place and them from tightening. Hemp rope is more expensive, a little bit stiffer, when wet nearly impossible to untie and a bit complicated to care for. Natural hemp rope is too hard and too rough for play. In order to make it ready for bondage you have to boil it. After doing so it needs to dry under tension otherwise it will shrink. Once dried you need to oil it. You can get pre-treated hemp rope from Twisted Monk which Mr S just started stoking. It is one the more expensive side yet definitely worth the money. Besides hemp and cotton more or less common materials for rope are sisal, silk, bamboo, coconut husks, burlap and linen. I have seen all of them used for human bondage though they all have their different weaknesses and strength and are hard to come by in a quality that would allow to fetter a person without danger. So if you want a natural material, stick to cotton and hemp.

Besides natural materials they are countless polymers spun into rope. It is impossible to cover all so here are two variants I could advice using: floating rope used in sailing and soft nylon rope. The advantage of synthetic material is that it mostly comes certified for a certain breaking load so you can easily asses if it fits your profile. To check if it should be used for bondage please take a look at all the properties listed in next paragraph. An advantage of synthetic rope is that when you shorten it you can easily weld the ends so it doesn’t fray. Natural rope has to either be sowed properly, whipped (thin yarn spun around the end of the rope) or put a polymer shell like shrinking tubing over the end and weld it.

Mister B Cotton Rope

Mister B Cotton Rope

Rope properties

The property of rope is defined by six major factors which determined whether a rope should be used for bondage or not. I strongly advise to either inspect the rope in store before you purchase it or order a sample to check if you like the rope. As always it is wasted money to buy rope you do not really like because good cared for rope will last you a lifetime!

  1. Construction
    There are two common ways to make rope. First there is plaited rope that comes in three varieties. One of them is squareline which produces a roughly rectangular rope. It is mostly used for haswers and thus through the thickness and weight not made for bondage. I have seen thinner versions which could theoretically be used for bounding someone. However its knot properties are bad so I would not recommend using it. The next one is hollow braiding. This kind of rope is made out of weight bearing threads and hollow inside. This makes it ideal for splicing which is opening up the rope. A disadvantage of it is that knots can travel or even tighten so I would not recommend it. The last variety is core-mantel-braiding. A strong, weight bearing core is surrounded by a woven mantel that protects it from abrasion and environmental influences. The cores come in soft and hard varieties. Only the soft one is made for bondage (see: 3. Flexibility). Depending on the mantel material knots can travel with core-mantel-braided rope.
    The second common was is the one most hemp and cotton rope is made: It is twisted rope. It is made by spinning threats of alternating rotational direction under tension. I prefer this style of rope because knots neither travel not tighten with it. However it cannot be spliced.
  2. Surface
    A common problem of using “wrong” rope is so called “rope burn”. It is irritation of the skin when rough rope travels over it to quickly so through the friction it gets hot; hot enough to create real burns! In order to prevent rope burns the surface of rope should be smooth and soft. Sometimes especially with syntactical rope the surface might appear smooth but the gaps between the individual threats are large enough to create rope burn. So before purchasing grab a piece of rope and quickly pull it over the palm of your hand. If it gets uncomfortable or too warm, this rope is not made for bondage!
  3. Flexibility
    In order to wrap rope tightly around a body and place knots where you want or need them rope has to be flexible enough. It can easily be tested by tying a simple figure-of-eight knot. If you can’t tighten it without much force, the rope is too stiff for bondage. A good rule of thumb is that the thicker the rope or the tighter it is made the less flexible it gets.
  4. Thickness
    Bondage rope comes in four major thicknesses, all for different purposes.
    4mm: Best for tie off body areas, p.e. genital or breast bondage. Not really made for body bondage.
    6mm & 8mm: Made for all bondage purposes. It is kind of a dogmatic question whether you think 6mm or 8mm is ideal for bondage.
    10mm: Also made for all bondage purposes but a bit too thick for “practical” bondage in the playroom. It has more presence on the body so it is best used for pictures.
    Any thickness below 6mm will dramatically increase the likelihood of tying off limbs so only use it for controlled scenarios like genital bondage. Anything below 4mm I consider too dangerous to be used on human beings. If you go above 10mm thickness most rope becomes too stiff. While it is not dangerous to use it is in my opinion a too much pain in the ass to be used for scenes.
  5. Breaking load
    In a nutshell Breaking load measures the loads under which a certain material will break (I will talk more about breaking load part three of this series). If you stick to rope thicker than 6mm you will have no problem with breaking load regardless of the material as long as you are not using a single rope for suspension.
  6. Maintaining
    As every toy most kinds of rope need to be cared for in order to bring you long lasting joy. After having been exposed to body fluids I recommend washing your rope using a fine detergent, low temperature and storing the rope in a pillow case. While you can hang cotton and synthetic rope just onto a cloth line and let it dry, most other natural fibers need care (p.e. hemd rope need to dry under tension, pulled through a carabiner once dried in order to soften and finally being oiled) before they can be stored away.
Mister B Split Rope

Mister B Split Rope

Beyond these properties there are also ropes with added features out there which might make your bondage experience easier. Mister B offeres pre-spliced cotton rope for easier bondage. In sail stores you can find rope with metal reinforced eyelets or with shackles attached to the end.

Rope Lenght

This chapter is again a dogmatic one: Which rope length do you need to bondage? Depending on what kind of bondage you want to create different lengths are good for you. I would generally not recommend buying ropes longer than 10m because they are too difficult to handle. Better learn a simple knot to connect ropes and thus connect different tied body areas instead of trying to handle one long one. With this you can of cause incorporate different colors into your growing web. I did a little survey under my rope dedicated friends and the consensus is that this is a good set to start out with: 2x 10m, 2x 5m, 2x 3m. Because your rope collection will grow as you get more experienced and do more elaborate bondage I recommend purchasing rope from a source where you are certain that you will get the same rope even after a few years so you can maintain a set. This is the case with most sail stores, roperies and special bondage rope vendors like Twisted Monk.

Rope Storage

Theoretically you can just throw dry ropes into a container for storage. However I would not recommend it. First it is disrespectful towards the toys and second – for most people probably the more important reason – it can tangle up there. While you can just coil rope for storage I recommend daisy chaining it (here is the Wikipedia article and a YouTube tutorial how to do it). Daisy chained rope does not only look stylish but it also takes up less space, can be transported in a bag without tangling and you can instantly find the middle of the rope which is handy for some bondage purposes. It takes some practice to learn daisy chaining but once you got it you can quickly and easily store make your rope storable.

Stephan Niederwieser's "Tie Me Up"

Stephan Niederwieser’s „Tie Me Up“

Learning the Ropes

Rope bondage is not hard to learn. You don’t need to know many complicated knots; two or three easy ones are enough for most situations. There are a lot of videos on YouTube that will teach you all kinds of rope bondage from simple to elaborate. However the quality of the video content varies from outstanding good to outstanding dangerous. Also, I am not a big fan of videos because it continues running and is already two steps ahead while you still try the first knot. But if you want trusted video tutorials visit Midori’s Vimeo page.

I personally would recommend books to start out with. If you are German spoken I highly recommend “Bondage – Der Gefesselte Mann” from Tom Schmitt. It is the classic, a little dryly written but no non-sense. If you like it a bit more pornographic get “Tie Me Up!” from Stephan Niederwieser. Both are explicitly for gay men. Mr S and Twisted Monk carry a few books and even DVDs on bondage which seems to be targeted at men and women. And of cause there are Midori’s books on Japanese bondage.

Since rope bondage is the entry into the kink world, in most metropolitan centers you can find courses. In Germany I can recommend the rope bondage workshops of the MLC in Munich and Quälgeist in Berlin. If you are in the USA and really want to get into rope bondage visit one of Midori’s Rope Dojos which take place twice a year.


In the next part of this series “Rope Substitutes” I will talk about the means to tie somebody down without rope.

Christmas Gift Tip I – Kinky Ornaments

Mr S Reindeer Muzzle & Leather Santa Hat

Mr S Reindeer Muzzle & Leather Santa Hat

It is only four Sundays until Christmas so the annual tradition of Christmas gift ideas for the discriminating kinkster who has everything starts again. Today will be all about kinky ornaments to put onto or use with a sub.

The perverts at Mr S really put some thought into this year’s Christmas season. They took their popular leather Woof! Muzzle and turned it into a reindeer muzzle. I could imagine that at the next pup mosh some pups might be interested into a reindeer. And they also thought about the handlers who want to get into the Christmas spirit with creating a leather Santa hat.

Oxballs Jingle Balls Cockring

Oxballs Jingle Balls Cockring

If you fear you might loose the sub at a the Christmas gangbang the new Jingle Balls Aluminum Cockring from Oxballs might be the right thing to get him. It comes in three classic holiday colors: green, red and silver. What sets this cockring apart is a sleigh bell mounted at the bottom so you can hear where the sub is moving. This might be especially interesting when you put the microphone of an e-stim box next to the bell…

Mr S Leather & Neoprene Stockings

Mr S Leather & Neoprene Stockings

If the pup, sub or even the top has been nice all year long they might be in for a treat on Dec 6th. And what more stylish and appropriate way than to exchange the old knitted socks with either neoprene or leather stockings from Mr S. Depending on your preference you can get them either in black or red which might be a good way to subtly tell your dom whether you want an XXL plug or rather a single tail for Christmas.

Mister B Seagrass Flogger

Mister B Seagrass Flogger

In northern Germany we have a little own tradition when it comes to Saint Nicholas day which is Dec 6th. Instead of hanging stockings onto the mantel piece we put out polished boots in front of our doors. The people who have been nice all year get their boot filled by Saint Nicholas with candy and small presents (remember: the larger the boot, the more space for stuffing). But the people who have been bad just get bundle of twigs from Knecht Ruprecht. I haven’t found a bundle of twigs I would recommend for impact play but I once saw a guy playing with this seagrass flogger from Mister B which comes fairly close to a bundle of twigs. The good thing is that it is a really good toy which leaves a lasting impression so hopefully the bad boy will remember to be better next year.

Mr S Boot Black Kit

Mr S Boot Black Kit

So if your boots are dirty and dull and you fear the whip quickly grab yourself a boot black kit from Mr S. When you care for your boots don’t forget your master ones’. He might have a treat for you if you do it well.

Mister B Premium Leather Blindfold

Mister B Premium Leather Blindfold

Mister B Premium Leather Blindfold

As some of you might know 1 ½ weeks ago I lost my favorite blindfold at LAB in Berlin. It was on a Friday and I was planning on attending the BDSM U35 party at the Quälgeist for which I would have needed one. So I did some research on the web before heading downtown in order to look for a new one. Doing this I came across this new blindfold from Mister B. It has the same general design like my old one from Mr S: Padding around the eye so there is no pressure and the ability to blink promising comfortable long-term wear. As a bonus you can apparently lock the strap for an added bondage sensation. Sadly the blindfold wasn’t in stock at Mister B’s store in Berlin so I couldn’t take a look at it. Yet I can’t wait to get my hand on one, try it out and see how it compares to the old champion.

It costs 49.50€ at Mister B.