Life is what is happening while you make other plans. For the start of the new review seasons, I planned a very different post. But on Friday while cleaning up the playroom I tweeted about a simple new addition: A wine rack to store realistic dildos. This simple, quick & dirty tweet sparked SO much interest, that I decided to write about the apparently topic of interest.
I have bought a wine rack for soft, realistic dildos mostly from SquarePeg. Due to the size and soft firmness, they do not stand up or fall over easily. Lying down they take up a lot of space so I was looking for an ergonomically and economically storage solution which I hope to have found in this wine rack. As you will read it is far from perfect yet until now the best solution I have come up with. If you have a better one, please get in touch!
For easy cleaning and to avoid reaction between potential surface treatment of wood for example, I was looking for a plastic wine rack. This particular one is from mDesign and I ordered for 23.99€ off Amazon.de. I chose the light grey over the black one because at roughly 55€ the black was way more than I would spend on such an item. And since I indeed to put it inside a metal IKEA Hyllis shelf, the color actually fit.
Silicone is a very sticky material (flint on toy pics anyone?)! Unlike wine bottles, the dildos will stick to the rack, making rather the rack more than the dildo. Because of this I used zip ties to fix the rack to the shelf. This is far from perfect, does not stop all movement but in the end is sufficient. I briefly considered Velcro ties instead of plastic zip ties but neglected the idea for easier cleaning of plastic ones. There were very fancy and sleek racks out there. But since they do not have even improvised anchor points as my new one has, I did not buy them. Before you chose a rack, make should you have a plan how to connect the rack to the shelf in which it stands.
Especially soft silicone creases easily. Since I have bought this rack primarily for me SquarePeg toys, I accept that due to the weight of the toys and the edges of the rack and the zip ties, they will get creases. Most silicone toys will get creases over time (like when throwing a bunch of them in a bucket during play), but if you want to keep your toys in perfect mint condition this storage solution is not for you. Because of this wine racks made out of bent wire at the front and the back are not suitable! The entire weight of the toy will rest on these two small points which will then dig deep into the material. Also, the toy will slack and stick to the toy below making them impossible to pull out.BeinBeing a wine rack, it is also only a solution for roughly cylindrical toys (aka realist dildos) roughly the diameter of a wine bottle (up to Ø80mm) without too big base that aren’t too long. Just for fun I put a Mr Hankey’s Toys Lampwick Uncut XXL (too long, base blocks slot below), a Bad Dragon Terra XL (knot it too big, base blocks surrounding slots) and a Bad Dragon Austin (knot is too big and to heavy so it has to be balanced not to fall out) inside it and I think you see the problem. This is especially annoying since while Terra stands very sturdily on its base, the first and the last toy can almost only be stored lying down, taking up a lot of space yet are too big for the rack.
The same accounts for plugs! An Oxballs Pig-Hole XXL just fits into the rack; a Pig-Hole FF is too big already. The Topped Toys Gape Keeper fits up to size 100 or the SquarePeg Acorn up to L. But due to the stickyness, it is considerably easier to just store them standing upright in a shelf than storing them vertically in a rack like this one.
This is my wine rack fully stacked with head-heavy realistic dildos. As you can see, the bases overlap making them a bit difficult to pull out. Also, unlike on a shelf the top cannot see the dildo so he has to know which base belongs to which dildo. So this solution is far from perfect! But it is a huge improvement over trying to balance the dildos standing up and a number of them falling out when just grabbing one.
I hope this little review/ guide help you make up your mind what is the most effective and accessible storage for your dildos. Because after all: A toy you cannot reach easily will seldom be used!