Gentle fucking your anus with either the SquarePeg Egg or the Topped Toy Gape Keeper with increasing larger sizes over time will make your hole fistable. Once you more or less easily take a Gape Kepper 93 or XXL Egg you should be able to take a medium size fist.
Ever since I started reviewing non-stim anal toys some 5 years ago, one of the most frequently asked set of question I have gotten is: How do I train my hole to take a fist? Which toys are best for the task? (For finding the perfect anal toy in general look here) Since review-wise I am still in hibernation it is the perfect time to write a comprehensive guide what toys and steps to take to get from a virgin or just dicked ass to a fist-greedy hole.
Physiology and Psychology of Getting Ready to take a Fist
First, let’s talk about the bodily aspects of fisting. The anus is a ring sphincter, a muscle. In order to make it smooth and willing open up, you need to carefully stretch it on a regular basis. For this I recommend a tandem of two plugs: One the goes in relatively easily to initially open up your hole and make it smooth. The best way to achieve this and accustom your hole to the stretch sensation of a fist, I recommend a gentle fucking with the plugs. Once the hole is opened up then other one should be used to stretch your sphincter. This again is a pushing/ fucking movement against the sphincter until it becomes uncomfortable. Keep the pressure at that point for a short while, then release and push again. Which level of discomfort is acceptable and needed for a good training is highly individual. Approach it carefully, explore what feels right and keep in mind what I write about pain below!
When the larger plug almost goes in initially as easily as the smaller one and you can fuck yourself with it, it is time to make the larger one your start plug and buy a bigger one for stretching. The size difference between the two plugs should be about 10mm to max. 15mm in diameter for two reasons:
- If the plug becomes too large, the overall shape gets too “dull” and it just bluntly presses against the sphincter which will not entice it to open up (more in the perfect shape below).
- You need a sense of achievement once in a while. Dully pushing a toy against your hole without any noticeable progress gets boring over time and demotivates. But when after two or three weeks of training you finally conquer a toy, you feel accomplishment. Adding to that the awesome feeling when the light pain of stretching turns into pure anal pleasure, there is strong positive conditioning going on. This is the psychological element of hole training!
The stretching can cause a little dragging pain but must not be intense or pinching or sharp! That is the reason why I recommend hole training on your own because you can best control the degree pf force and angle in which the toy should enter. Furthermore, especially in the beginning your hole will be tender quickly. So a potential play partner will be disappointed. Training does also not need to take long! 10 to 15 minutes every two or three days is enough to make progress. Actually, regular stretching is way better than one hour-long session once every blue moon. And with stretching I mean the gentle fucking movement describe above. There is little training effect in long-term wearing of plugs. It is actually counterproductive. If you wear a plug for extended periods of time, your sphincter will contract again and the mucosa inside the rectum will absorb the lube. Pulling the plug out then, especially when you are untrained can be very painful and cause injuries! The anus can take quite the beating when being relaxed! But if not, it is a very delicate body area.
That is why I like to compare fist training to starting Yoga. When you start out, you might be disappointed how clumsy and stiff you are. But when you keep going, push yourself a little bit and within reason on a regular basis at some point you will be able to touch your toes. And the same way, if you keep to the training regime you ultimately will be able to take a fist.
It is hard to pin down an exact plug diameter when you will be able to take a fist. Small fists could have a very sturdy bone structure while large ones could collapse easily making them easy to take than a smaller one. Also, a human hand will never be as soft and smooth as the squishy silicone currently popular. So the softer the silicone, the larger the plug has to be. But a good rule of thumb is that somewhere around 75mm diameter you should be able a medium glove size hand.
It is important to keep in mind that like in training there is a psychological factor in getting fisting: Allowing another person push his or her fist through your sphincter takes a lot of trust and relaxation. It is not uncommon that the first fist is a strong mindfuck and needs to be taken out right away and the session is then over. Do not consider this a failure! Keep in mind that you can now take a fist and go back to this trail of though with confidence before your next scene. Do not stress out if it does not work out the second or third time right away or at all. Being able to take a fist a not a Boolean event but a wonderful journey you have just reached an important step but which is not nearly over! And there are wonderful things and experiences to explore along the way.
Choosing the right Toy
Plugs, Dildos & Fantasy Toys
A hand in initial fisting position (pressing all stretched out fingers together) has roughly a cone shape. The diameter gradually increases until the thumb knuckle and then tapers again until the wrist. This double cone-shape which causes a stretch both going in and going out is best recreated in plugs.
I often get asked “Can I also use dildos to train?” Of course you can but the training effect will not be as big. The stretch and training effect basically only occurs when the dildo enters the anus. A dildo is good for getting the anus used to being stretched to a certain diameter (and the friction of the fucking stimulating the many nerve endings inside the anus makes the training enjoyable) but helps little in the quest of taking a fist. There are some dildos which through the shape can help train like the SquarePeg Longneck or Mr Hankey El Rey. Dildos which taper towards the bottom and thus increase the stretch are not really useful because often before you get to a useful stretch you run into depth problems. This means that you need to penetrate the very sensible second sphincter where the colon enters the rectum. This is a challenge especially for deep fisting and definitely a story for another day.
Many people get into anal stretching because they like the looks or the mind play (I am looking at your Furries! ;)) associated with fantasy toys like from Bad Dragon, Neotori or KnotMe which are often on the larger side of the size spectrum. One of the distinctive features are they elaborate shapes and textures. Sadly, the more texture and the complexer the shape, the harder they are to take. So they are not good training toys. Of course there are exceptions like the Bad Dragon Vergil (If you want to learn more about finding the perfect anal toy and how to store and care for it, take a look at my Anal Toys 101).
Choosing the right Plug
As already written the training plugs should have a smooth and flowing conical shape both before and behind the equator so they easily go in and out. They should be made out of platinum silicone because its surface is super smooth and easy to clean. Finally, they should have an ergonomic base as a good handle when fucking and naturally come in a large number of sizes. These criteria meet two toys: The SquarePeg Egg and the Topped Toys Gape Keeper. They both have a long-drawn egg shape which makes them perfect for training. Which one you should choose highly depends on your personal preference. Topped Toys uses slightly softer silicone which follows the current trend towards soft toys. With SquarePeg you have the choice of two firmness grades: SuperSoft (in their signature Bronze orange or a middle grey called Graphite) or Firm (only in black). Personally, I prefer firm toys for training because the firm toys “force” the sphincter open a bit more easily (again, choose the force you are comfortable with and do not overdo it!) and the firmness is closer a human hand. The SquarePeg Egg is also steeper and thus goes in a bit more easily. The Topped Toys Gape Keeper is a little bit duller and barrel shaped so it comes a bit closer to simulating the challenge of the thumb knuckle. The SquarePeg base is a bit easier to grab but especially at sizes larger than XL a bit cumbersome. Both models come in a wide variety of sizes so you can find the perfect pairing of fucking+stretching plug. If you can, go to a store, touch and look at the toys to find which fit you best. Of course, my reviews of the SP Egg and TT Gape Keeper are also an excellent point to start 😉
These toys are not inexpensive and I am aware that buying increasingly larger toys is an expensive route to take compared to cheap PVC toys but especially when you leave the realm of mass-commercial sizes (about 60mm diameter) there are not many well-shaped toys to continue your journey towards a fist (And do not get me started on heavy metals and plasticizers in PVC being absorbed by the mucosa in your rectum). Fisting is such a great experience so your hole should be worth it for you! Furthermore, these toy retain a somewhat good second hand value. Or you take my route and hand down some toys to eager bottoms starting the same journey I have been on and keep some if you want to train fistee in the making or need to open up a tense hole.
Then approaching the 70mm mark, there is another toy I recommend for training: The SquarePeg Acorn. Its duller tip is a bit closer to the ergonomics of a hand in fisting position than the perfectly smooth taper of the Gape Keeper and Egg. The duller transition between the body and the neck is also closer to the transition between thumb knuckle and wrist. Around the rim runs a bulge designed to stimulate the prostate and anus which frankly is a challenge and makes taking the plug harder when you are not experience. But holy fuck! When you take it and are experienced enough to relax becomes that little bump a horny feature!
I sometimes get the questions if the Topped Toys Grip or more recently the Deep Space are good for training. To be frank, I have not yet played with them but looking at their shape and taking into account my experience with other toys, I would say no for the training aspect. The Grip starts out at a size range where you are almost in fist territory and its slopes are too steep (there is actually a sweetspot between steep- and dullness which is too complicated to explain here). On the Grip 96 and even the Grip 106 it looks a bit better. They could maybe work for training, I actually need to try them myself. But also these two have the very prominent edge around the equator which makes the pop going in intense and the pushing out challenging. This makes the toy interesting and horny for experienced holes but nothing for novices. If you like the shape though, buy them as inspirational toys. Because, you should always buy toys for the hole you want not the hole you have 😉
The Deep Space as its name says is made for training stretch in the depth of the rectum and colon. Furthermore the tip is again shaped for more experienced holes which easily open up. So like the Grip, save the purchase for when you are fist-savvy or get it as playroom decoration to look at and aspire to when training yourself in the meantime.
Ok, this is only in this section because you can buy clean-out accessories in the pharmacy. When training yourself, I would recommend not to overdo the douching because it irritates your anus and rectum, making it harder to open up. A thorough clean-out like before a good, heavy fucking should is enough. Yes, the fucking motion of the plugs can lead to some waste falling down. But this small thread it outweighed by the fact that you do not tired your hole out already in the bathroom.
When you get into serious fisting you will need to improve your clean-out routine. But still, you and your partner should always keep in mind where you put your hands. Accidents happen and are neither reason for drama nor for bottom shaming! Be adult about it, clean up, douche again, take a break and continue. In my opinion, people who put down and shame bottoms for messy incident have not business of sticking their hands and dicks in rectums!
Lube is paramount! Too little lube can cause fissures and other accidents. There are some borderline cases (and with experienced players preferences) where there is too much lube. But especially when starting out with serious ass play, if you ask yourself “Should I add lube?” the answer is always “Yes!” When playing with silicone toys, you must not used silicone or hybrid lube because the silicone oil inside it will over time destroy your toys. The surface with become porous and sticky. I recommend water-based lube. There are countless brands available and actually two fister can talk for hours why which lube is the best. You just need to try. For the training the lube consumption will be relatively moderate. Since all powder lubes used for fisting go bad quickly, you should buy large and thus economic bottles of lube. My personal recommendations are Elbow Grease H2O Thick Gel or ID Glide because it stays in place on the toy but ever ass is different so give it a try.
Relaxants and Aftercare Ointments
There are many relaxation sprays and gels or even numbing ones out there. Stay away from them! The numbing effect will dull the pain you feel and thus an important indicator if you can still push on a bit or have to stop immediately! Injuries coming from being too forceful can keep you from ever enjoying any from of anal sex forever! So it is not worth it.
Heavy training can lead to mini fissures or stress-induced pain inside the sphincter. This is completely normal. For aftercare I recommend using baby diaper rash cream with panthenol and zinc oxide to help the small wounds to close and calendula and either chamomile or sage for a soothing effect. Even when you are a masochist, I recommend to wait with proceeding with the training until you have no pain in the anus anymore. Otherwise problems can escalate.
And finally a necessary word on semi legal and illegal substances. I will neither recommend nor demonize them because people will be using them anyway. Like relaxation or numbing gels they can greatly impair you ability to notice something is wrong. So especially when training, using anything more than poppers and THC which is relatively safe is very dangerous! If you decide to use substances educate yourself about the short and longterm effects and especially safe use. Never use them alone and try them with an experienced person you trust. Discuss your limits before hand and do not move/ let yourself be pushed further than you are comfortable with when you are sober.