Best for Self Play – Anal Toys

The Mr Hankey Dragon and XXXCalibur

In the past few weeks I have been getting an increasing amount of questions and messages which toys are best for self play. So this little series of guides should help you navigate my many toy reviews and help you get safe, sane and sexually satisfied through these times. I try to update this little series so if you don’t follow me on Twitter, check tomorrow evening for the next installment.

Surprisingly, the most questions I have gotten followed along the line: “I can’t see my long distance relationship partner/ play mates/ fuck buddies anymore and I haven’t used my dildos in years. Any idea for a good dildo?”

Left SquarePeg Leo 2X, Right Mel 2X

If you are looking for a realistic dildo, one of my favorite toys of all of 2019 was the SquarePeg Mel because of the many different ridges around the shaft. However, they only make realistic dildos in their signature Supersoft silicone. And if you are a texture junkie like me who want to feel every vein, that might not be enough. For this, take a look at Mr Hankey’s Toys who make toys in soft and medium varieties and if that is not enough offer custom firmness. When it comes to realistic dildos, they are have a wide range from porn star dongs over John Doe dick to uncut underwear anacondas. Both companies are offering Vac-U-Lock holes for their dildos so you can attach them to fuck machines or other nifty accessories for self play.

Topped Toys Gape Keeper 100 & Chute 75

Apparently many of you are using their time at home to stretch and train their hole. Hands down the best toy for that is the SquarePeg Egg. It opens the hole smoothly both on the way in and on the way out. The Topped Toys Gape Keeper does the same job, however, they only offer their toys in soft silicone while SquarePeg also offers a firm version. Personally, I prefer firmer toys for stretching but maybe these times are the perfect opportunity to find out your preference. What both toys are great for are long-term wear.

The Organotoy Eggs from Small to XXL

For really LONG term wear and some fun when moving out and about, take a look at the OrganoToy Eggs. They are designed to be swallowed completely, giving you a nice sense of fullness and stimulate the sensitive nerve endings inside your rectum. If you want to wear them over extended periods of time, especially the smaller ones, please get a version with the pullout chain or rope to get them out securely even when they start to wonder up your colon. Another nifty feature of the pulling out is the prostate stimulation.

Vergil the Drippy Dragon as a Representation of Bad Dragon’s „Glans and a Knot“-Dildo Design ontop of an Anthropomorphic Base

This segways directly into the last category of this short overview: Prostate stimulation toys. I have to preferred prostate toy: First Bad Dragon’s Vergil the Drippy Dragon. The shape of head and body are PERFECTY for targeting my prostate and I have gotten countless anal and prostate orgasms from it. The other is the SquarePeg Acorn. The small, innocent looking ridge around the rim seems small but in the right hands and position will drive you nuts. And I am sure you now have enough time to find that perfect spot for you. And yes, of course there is the OrganoToys SAW for prostate milking. It is one of the most bizarre toys I have come across in my eight years of reviewing kinky sex toys. If you want something unusual and want to support a small, independent toy maker, give it a try.

Tomorrow I will take the look at E-Sim toys to pleasure yourself.

ToyTorture’s Stocking Stuffer I – Topped Toys Spike

The Topped Toys Spike 105 in their Signature Forge Red color and Steel Blue

It is the first Advent Sunday which means each Sunday until Christmas I will give you some stocking stuffer tips  I would love to get my stockings – or in this case ass – stuffed with.

In today’s review I talked about textured depth toys which I really enjoyed. A few weeks ago I reviewed my first toys from Topped Toys and loved them. What would happen if the two things would be combined? Well, the Topped Toys Spike would happen! Made out of high quality and soft platinum silicone, this is one of the most intense depth toys I have seen so for. One side of toy has deep bumps, almost like a saw – or a graphic Christmas tree. The other side has gentle bumps. So depending on the orientation the prostate gets gently stimulated or heavily tormented. And I cannot imagine what happens when the Spike penetrates the second sphincter!

If you are a bit too hesitant if such a heavily textured toy with a maximum diameter of 84mm and an insertable length of 355mm might be a bit too extreme for you, Topped Toys introduce a small brother to the original Spike 105 a couple of weeks ago: The Spike 70. With an insertable length of 241mm, a maximum diameter of 56mm and just the bumps on one side it is the perfect toy for the more careful and inexperienced anal play.

The Spike 70 on top of the Spike 105

The Spike 105 costs 133€ while the Spike 70 retails for 65€ at Topped Toys‘ website. But a little birdie told me that they are looking to expand their retail network so they great ass tools might be coming to a perverted store near you soon. So you can check out in person if the Spike 70 is enough or you are feeling ambitious for the Spike 105.

As a friend once told me: Don’t buy the toys for the hole that you have but for the hole that you want… 😉

Topped Toys Gape Keeper & Chute

Form: Butt Plug
Material: Platinum Silicone.
Colors: Forged Red & Blue Firmness: Soft
Lube: Water & Oil
Cleaning: Soaking in hot water with dish-soap than use sanitizer.
Safer Sex: Clean and sanitize thoroughly
Storage: Store in a well-ventilated place not touching other toys to

Vendor: Topped Toys

Over the years, reader questions have become a quite reliable indicator of what could be the next hot thing in kink toys. Early this summer a rising tidal wave of messages about a new anal toy manufacturer called Topped Toys (back then still Mountie Toys) hit my inbox. They were so new and from distant Canada lands that I have never heard about them before – unlike dozends of my readers who were VERY eager to learn about the design, feel and quality of htis newcomer. So always trying to be on the vanguard of toy development and getting you the review for the toys you are most interested in, I got my hands on the two designs they started out with to investigate what all the – ex post well deserved – fuzz is all about.

Topped Toys Gape Keeper 100 & Chute 75


For this review I have gotten the Gape Keeper 100 and the Chute 75. The Gape Keeper comes along as a fairly middle of the road plug yet into the design a lot of thought has been put. With an overall length of 185mm, the main body has roughly egg shaped and 130mm long and is 80mm at the widest point. At the bottom it flows into a 35mm long neck with a diameter of 52mm which flows into a base with measured 105x77mm. The Chute 75 is just a little bit shorter at 165mm overall length but with a maximum diameter of 60mm considerably smaller. The neck is just a bit shorter at 30mm and smaller at 34mm diameter. The base measures 72x50mm. What sets the Chute apart from other toys if the notch with runs from the base’s bottom 120mm way into the main body. It is 30mm at it widest point and 10mm deep.

Both the Gape Keeper and the Cute come in a number of different sizes for every training level

Name Max. Diameter Insertable Length Neck Diameter Overall Length
Gape Keeper 65 53mm 120mm 30mm 140mm
Gape Keeper 75 61mm 140mm 35mm 165mm
Gape Keeper 85 68mm 152mm 45mm 165mm
Gape Keeper 100 80mm 165mm 52mm 185mm
Gape Keeper 116 93mm 178mm 66m 196mm
Gape Keeper 128 104mm 171mm 71mm 190mm
Chute 75 60mm 140mm 34mm 165mm
Chute 85 69mm 152mm 46mm 165mm

Over the course of the last couple of years, it became the standard for high-end anal toys to be made out of platinum silicone and Topped Toys does not disappoint in this regard. The advantages are just too many: 100% body safe, hypoallergenic and easy to clean (from hot dish soap water or bleach over the dish washer to autoclaving them everything is possible) makes them the perfect toy for using on multiple partners in a short time frame like in an orgy setting. For storage, keep them upright or lay them down without pressure, to avoid creases. Only store them together with other platinum silicone toys because plasticizers of other materials can disintegrate the silicone. The same can happen when using silicone lube. Silicone oil is deadly for silicone. Because of that ere at the side of caution and only use water- or oil-based lubes with Topped Toys.

Topped Toys chose a very soft silicone for their toys so it is nice and squishy. Colorwise there are two options: Blue Steel which in my opinion is a bit dull (and too close to the signature color of a British company…) and Forged Red, a marble of rich red and steel grey, forming a unique pattern for each toy. Forged Red has somewhat become they signature color and it is a nice pop of individual color in the sea of black colored anal toys.

Detail of the Gate Keeper’s 100 Tip which is the Right Cross between Dull and Spikey

Playing with the Gape Keeper & Chute

I have to be honest: When the first wave of reader questions hit, I was skeptical if the world needed yet another platinum silicon toy manufacturer, especially with (at the beginning) such a fairly standard and boring range – an opinion shared by many in my testee panel. But once we had gotten our hands and holes on the toys, the opinion changed quickly.

From the first look, the Gape Keeper is another well designed boring butt plug which would have a hard time winning real favors in a world where most of my friends (and probably many of my readers too), have more than one of iconic SquarePeg Egg in their playroom. But the devil is in the detail. It was designed by someone who REALLY knew the anatomy of the rectum. The tip of the head is just spikey enough to seduce a with increasing size more trained sphincter to open up yet dull enough to allow for an intriguing maximum diameter and thus rectum filling size without overstuffing. Because of that the Gape Keeper 100 is very comfortable to wear over extended periods of time, like in fisting breaks to keep the gape open. But the piece de resistance for this property lies in the neck shape and design. The convex flow mimics how the rectum turns into the anus for most people. The neck has the length of an average sphincter. The base is not too long so it rests comfortable also in smaller bubble butts. I love my SquarePeg Eggs (all three of them!), but the Gape Keeper 100 is just a completely different level of comfort when it comes to long-term wear. The neck nestles so comfortably and perfectly inside the anus, even when moving considerably a lot, there is almost no urge to take the plug out – despite the hefty weight of the larger sizes.

Detail of the Gape Keeper’s almost Anatomically Shaped Base which fits like a Key Inside the Anus

If you are more action orientated like me and do not really like to wear plugs over extended periods of time (because you are so loose, there is no need to a toy to keep your gaping hole open…), the Gape Keeper is also a great punching toy. For my personal taste, it could be a bit firmer to force the sphincter a bit more open. But this is complaining about first world problems. As already written, the larger the toy, the duller it gets, the more intense is much sought after stretch sensation when entering. By implication this means that the smaller sizes being less dull are good training toys to slowly train the butt to take larger diameters. From my experience over the years, I would say, the Gape Keeper 100 is a good fisting benchmark. If you can take that toy, you should be able to take a medium fist.

My panel’s experience with the Chute follows a slightly different story. Especially the guys who incorporate active fucking into their anal play session were instantly hooked on the notch. It is designed to add extra girth and thus tightness for the top and the bottom when fucking. The dick simply slides along the notch. Since the notch makes the neck relatively thin, the plug looses a bit of rigidness and a hard, throbbing dick can easily push the head to the side when it needs room inside the rectum. Going up a size to the Chute 85 will probably solve that problem. At first the sensation and the logistics take a bit to work out (I recommend to place the plug either left or right of the shaft instead of on top or bottom). But once you get the hang of it, it is a unique sensation that can challenge a bottom again who is well broken in already. A word of warning though: When you fuck vigorously, the relatively small base and soft silicone can become a problem. Three testeees managed to thrust the entire plug into the bottom’s ass.

Detail of the Chute’s Notch

Naturally, the Chute can also be used with a dildo for either increasing stretch of shielding part of the sphincter from the dildo’s texture, focusing it on others. But the Chute just by itself is also a fun toy. For stretch training it is not a perfect toy because the notch in the middle prevents a smooth flow in and out of the hole. But the notch is perfect for gently targeting the prostate. When twisting and turning inside the hole, it gently brushed and massages the prostate glans. The stimulation is not strong enough for a milking but can definitely enhance the anal play sensation repertoire.

Where to buy?

While Topped Toys is currently working hard to expand their dealer network also in the Old World, the easiest way to get one of their toys is through their website. The Chute costs between 45€ and 59€ depending on the size, while the Gape Keeper starts at 34€ and ends at 149€.

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